10 Lies Pornographers Tell


1. Porn stars are breaking into the mainstream.
You’re not cast as the stripper who dances naked at the bachelor party and then has a coat hook put through the back of her head while she’s fucking the star because you have potential as a character actress. You’ll get offered ‘Third junkie hooker’ because junkie hookers one and two get to keep their clothes on and there’s a line of real actresses out the door fighting to do those parts, and getting a five episode story arc on CSI doesn’t count when they’re using your notoriety for free publicity. The mainstream’s happy to inject a little pornster sex-appeal when they need it, and know most are so desperate for mainstream recognition they’ll take $250 for a twelve hour day as long as they don’t have to screw anyone.

2. Teens.
Women are only teenage and legal for two years. Tiffany Teen’s been online since 2003 and if you think that she was eighteen when she started… wanna buy a bridge? You can’t really fault women who exploit the borderline-pedophile market but seriously, when was the last time you saw a real teenager in a pink mini-skirt and pigtails?

3. Sluts.
Despite what it says on the box, if you call a woman – even a porn performer - a nasty cum-drinking bitch when your not having sex with her, she’s probably going to knee you in the nuts. The tubby mommies-boys and misogynists who market porn want you to think the way they view women is how women in porn see themselves. Try calling a performer a ‘dirty cock-socket’ at a trade-show if you think it is, in fact, true. Watch your head.

4. Reality Porn.
You go for a drive with a few friends. Seeing a cute girl on the street you stop to offer her a ride. She sees four guys in a van, one of whom has a video camera, and gets in. You ask to see her tits and she says no, so you offer her a hundred bucks to fuck you and your buddy. She thinks about it, realizes she’s always wanted to be a prostitute, asks for two hundred, and jumps on your dick. You’re not wearing a rubber and she’s a total stranger but neither of you are worried because, like, what are the odds? You stop the van and persuade her to get out. Then ‘for a joke’ you drive off without paying her and sell the video on the internet. She obviously doesn’t tell anyone because you manage to do this three times a week in the same neighborhood without any difficulty for then next five years. If that seems real too you - man you have to see this bridge…

5. Cock length and bust size.
New rule. Any guy claiming to pack over nine inches has to photograph their junk beside an ice-pick like an explorer who’s found a strange footprint; and guys, the number in a bra-size is a chest measurement. 54C? That’s Barbra Bush. Enjoy your masturbation

6. Gangbang numbers.
We’ll forget that you’re watching a gangbang and what that means - “There are hundred of guys standing around wanking in this movie and one bored woman… I’m buying it.” – but given testing costs, catering logistics and basic rates of pay you’d be insane to believe the numbers producers put on the boxes of ‘gangbang’ movies. Even if you could get 500 guys in a room, tested, fed and paid half of them wouldn’t be able to get it up, half of those left wouldn’t be able to get it out, and half of the remainder would sneeze all over the thighs of the guy in front of him while waiting in line for seconds. It’s why gangbang movies always have a number of well-known male performers on-hand to do the job. Porn counting goes like this 1, 2, 3, Gang, “INSERT FANTASY NUMBER HERE”

7. Fame.
The most famous living pornographers are Hugh Hefner, Larry Flynt and Ron Jeremy. Hefner’s an institution (that institution’s a cross between Michael Jackson’s Neverland and a Greyhound station) while Flynt and Jeremy are both thirty-year veterans who’ve been the subject of mainstream movies. Jenna? A distant fourth, and being fourth most famous anything is like being the fourth largest army in the world - India - no one cares. Porn will not make you famous - unless you think that the ninth most famous magician in America’s a pretty famous dude (admit it – you got stuck after David Copperfield, David Blaine, Siegfried and Roy).

8. Alt Porn.
Traditionally porn performers get paid a fixed daily rate, don’t get any residual pay and have no real control over the product they’re in. The product itself features skinny white girls from the flyover states who get hired because of how they look and how they fuck. Or is that alt-porn? Janine’s been rocking tatts and attitude for a decade while raising two kids without ever being labeled ‘alt’ anything, while ‘alt porn’ darling Joanna Angel recently said on camera “…does the fact I’ll let any stranger cum on my face but won’t fuck a black guy make me a racist?” Er… yes it does Joanna (See here for why). A tattoo and a bad dye-job is not going to upset ‘the system’ and the ‘alternative’ to traditional porn is independence, control and new ideas not haircuts, piercings and hip records.

9. Art Porn.
The defense of bad art is always the same. “Who are you to judge?” Well I’m happy to judge and so are you. Bach was a better composer than Yanni, and Monet was a better painter than Thomas Kincaid. If you disagree that’s not an opinion, it’s proof you’re an imbecile. Art porn has yet to scale the heights of ‘Dogs Playing Poker’ and it all sucks.

10. Porn Stars are Rich.
If you grew up in a town where having tread on your spare tire made you wealthy, porn is incredibly lucrative. If you think it’s unfair to get paid $2,000 for a movie named after you which makes $500,000 in its first year of release you might not be ‘porn star’ material. The average studio contract is about $75K a year and if you’re lucky you’ll hold it for five. During that time you’ll eat as carefully, and train as hard, as a professional athlete, you won’t be able to start a family, and you’ll exclude yourself permanently from a range of other career options in return for the take-home pay of a McDonalds night-manager. Porn’s like professional sport, the rich people are the (content) owners. Unlike professional sport there is no minimum wage, hardly any licensing and no players association. Want to be a rich adult performer? Build a website.

I agree with all of them but the last one. These girls are making lots of $$$. I know of a girl "TR" (not going to out her) who made $25K in one month and blew it all on Rodeo Dr. She just loves Gucci. Then after that month she was begging her agent for more money and loans all this after making $25K in a month! These girls need to learn how to budget.

You know ONE girl. Now name TEN. Not counting Jenna.

4. Reality Porn.
You go for a drive with a few friends. Seeing a cute girl on the street you stop to offer her a ride. She sees four guys in a van, one of whom has a video camera, and gets in. You ask to see her tits and she says no, so you offer her a hundred bucks to fuck you and your buddy. She thinks about it, realizes she’s always wanted to be a prostitute, asks for two hundred, and jumps on your dick. You’re not wearing a rubber and she’s a total stranger but neither of you are worried because, like, what are the odds? You stop the van and persuade her to get out. Then ‘for a joke’ you drive off without paying her and sell the video on the internet. She obviously doesn’t tell anyone because you manage to do this three times a week in the same neighborhood without any difficulty for then next five years. If that seems real too you - man you have to see this bridge…

Great stuff to wake up too. Keep up the good work


She obviously doesn’t tell anyone because you manage to do this three times a week in the same neighborhood without any difficulty for then next five years

Where'd you copy/paste this from? You should at least give credit to the original author.

You guys are destroying my fantasies. I always wanted to believe women were in porn because they liked sex, and the producers/directors/owners were happy to share their money with the talent.

You guys make porn seem all cynical and business like.

It's better to not know anything about porn, it's like fantasizing about having sex with a hot actress, then actually having sex with her, but finding out she's a dead lay.

Once again a little thing like reality has to go and ruin a perfectly good fantasy.

Like the heads of other businesses are telling the truth?

An essential to making money is to make it on the labor of others. The rules of capitalism state that the money goes to the person who risks the capital.

The reason others in the entertainment fields are no longer exploited is a combination of longer careers and UNIONS. Unions can act as a counter balance to capital. Having experienced people to rely on can help to avoid the repeat of mistakes.

I have been on both sides.

I was an officer with a large internet company before my current illness. Did we tell the staff our true financial position? Of course not. Did we make them sign off on work policies that were solely to our advantage? Of course we did. Is this common practice in business? You know the answer.

When I consulted, if they asked me if I had say computer admin services, I would negotiate a price like $75 per hour with someone I knew who needed extra work. I would then pay him as a 1099 on my books and BILLED THE SERVICES AT $125! I made $50 an hour on HIS WORK, but I did not get paid immediately and I risked not getting paid [in my situation it wasn't a risk].

Before this during my tenure as a Delegate to the NYC Central Labor Council, we fought situations where young men & women in their teens worked for weeks at long hours and no benefits only NOT to be paid THEIR MINIMUM WAGES by corrupt bosses who would establish, drain and bankrupt one company after another.

None of these teens had $75k contracts or $1000 bucks for a days work for a scene, or a fist full of twenties after a night dancing.

What these women need is proper representation and financial management for their short careers by able advisors [which I assume they don't have and will not be having].

Do these girls have agents? Shouldn't they help with this?

But then again, Agents are probably bigger liars than Producers.

As much as I agree with this Top Ten list, I also have to say someone takes their porn WAY to seriously. Its called fantasy for a reason. And given the chance, I am sure you would trade places with these porn stars any day of the week.