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#141605 - 01/20/06 08:29 AM
"Burglarisms"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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This fake "SHAMmurra" bullshit has got me pissed, she split just before I joined last year and the buildup to her imminent return had me excited like Firewall visiting the National Harmonica Museum in Frankfurt, Kentucky. I was hoping her return would be the moment everyone remembered and would point to as "When Da Burglar got his Groove back":
-- I guess not...anyway, moving on in life is important so let me start by quoting Willie D from one of the Fake Sammurra threads:
Quote:
I don't think porn keeps track of any advanced statistic, but looking towards the future, I can see some semi-objective "stroke index" representing a whore's ability to generate semen release. I'm confident your wood-killing score would be astoundingly high.
I thought of the same thing the other night watching "The French Connection", where the scene plays out the dope is being tested in the apartment with the rudimantary chemistry lab, and the junkie expert is counting up the temperature as the dope's purity is given the thermal test:
"180-pure bliss, 190-junk of the month club, 200-USDA Choice, 210-pure poison, 220-absolute dynamite"...or something like that. I would like to see porn have something like this for a rating scale, since it is clear, having seen the lost look of Junkies at AEE amongst the porn fans, that porn is basically a drug, it is addictive and you CANT detox from it....
-- I found myself woefully ignorant about porn, and who does what, who has been in what, etc, when I was at AEE. I think my problems stem from the fact that, 89% of what I know about porn I learned entirely from this board, XPT. As I weed through the 36,000 titles (THIRTY SIX THOUSAND) on MovieMonster.com, I notice some of the titles have what they call "Bonus" scenes only available on the DVD. WTF is this bullshit? Isn't a "Bonus Scene" on a porn DVD like the Spinal Tap Amps that go to '11'??
-- Isn't the logical progression of today's porn and the industry/internet that eventually there will be so much of it depicting the most twisted perverse acts possible, that the entire westernized world will eventually implode, followed by the rest of the world because we wont be around to hate???
I am old enough to remember porn when an ANAL scene, or a facial cumshot, was something special, one of those "ooohhh, wowww..." moments you filed away for emergency jerk off purposes. Now, seeing whats out there and having watched enough of it, I feel sexually dead inside. As I see, over and over again things like four or five guys jerking off into a fairly hot chick's mouth, followed by her doing a morning mouthwash swishing routine before gulping it down, I am actually pissed. It's like she is mocking me, sending me a subliminal message that I am incomplete because one of the loads in her mouth isn't mine. Am I supposed to now want to go out and do that, over and over, day after day?
Or worse, this ridiculous spectacle of cumfarting. WTF? I am fortunate enough to be able to do and afford most things I want, yet even on my most sexually charged, perverted days, or even in my most opiate-induced moral malaise, I would never WANT or DESIRE to blast my spunk into one chick's ass, then watch another chick position herself beneath that chick's bunghole and ingest the crap. WTF?? What the hell Happened??
I find myself having, or acquiring appetites I previously DID NOT have...by seeing these things, they are burned into my memory, which is to say they are now part of my collective experiences, so I can loosely say i have experienced cumfarting vicariously...or Bukkake....or Ass-to-other-girls-ass, etc. But I really didn't want to per se...I feel raped, violated, mind fucked...I am not the same now for having watched this shit. Self abuse ensues... 
I find these girls attractive, desirable even intelligently compelling in select cases (the chicks I met at AEE that I talked to and hung out with were all seemingly cool and had their shit together, more or less...) But no way in hell can I believe that any chick "enjoys" eating the cum of some degenerate out of another chick's ass. Nope. Not possible. Something more sinister is afoot ...to be continued....
_________________________
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#141611 - 01/20/06 08:52 AM
Re: "Burglarisms"
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 09/03/03
Posts: 746
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um you said that same shit last year,SOMEONE is running out of material get some new writers funky monkey. Quote:
Quote:
Whats your paypal info...I want to send you 200 bucks right now for a 'vicarious' blowjob...comeon, I have never been with crackwhore yet, it's one of the final frontiers in my mind besides cumfarting.
Id seriously pay money to degrade her and film it. Im sure for $600 she'd let chico beat the shit out of her for 10 minutes and allow jeff to film it.
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porntalk home of the guys who got pushed into lockers in highschool.
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#141613 - 01/20/06 09:02 AM
Re: "Burglarisms"
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 09/03/03
Posts: 746
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I'm using the wheelchair as a crutch for this one, I dont care... The scene should involve an actor paid to look like Firewall with my Sunglasses on paying her $200 for a "get my limp dick 13% erect blowjob...reach 25% and I'll double it..." type transaction, followed by Sammura wheeling him down an alley, dumping him out of his $4000 wheelchair and leaving him behind a dumpster with a couple broken Rolling Rock Bottles and a rusted toaster, then show Sammura selling the $4000 wheelchair for $200 on a street corner outside a liquor store owned by second generation Koreans who eye her nervously but dont call the cops...show her buying $180 worth of crack, a pack of smokes and a 40 oz Colt 45, then disappear into a abandoned fire station built in 1907. 3 hours later you can film the Chico scene (make sure the tape shows a clock with elapsed time in the bottom left corner...) Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
translation: PLEASE PLEASE LET ME BACK IN THE CLUB FELLAS AHH COME ON! LOOK AT THE LOOOONG ASS BET COMIC VIEW REPLY I GAVE HER. 
_________________________
porntalk home of the guys who got pushed into lockers in highschool.
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#141616 - 01/20/06 09:13 AM
Re: "Burglarisms"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
But no way in hell can I believe that any chick "enjoys" eating the cum of some degenerate out of another chick's ass. Nope. Not possible. Something more sinister is afoot ...to be continued....
I was going to respond to this, which I read to be the thesis of this latest outpouring of mental flotsam about porn, but it seems pointless just this minute.
I'll just leave you with this:
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#141618 - 01/20/06 09:16 AM
Re: "Burglarisms"
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 09/03/03
Posts: 746
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no it's because you say it every two months when the board is going slow,like how you take old post and bump them back to the top. Quote:
Quote:
um you said that same shit last year,SOMEONE is running out of material get some new writers funky monkey.
Ive said it a few times and everytime i say it the more im willing to pay to make it happen, you have no idea how hard you made me knowing that this has stayed with you deep in your memory bank. Hard enough to cut diamonds right now.
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porntalk home of the guys who got pushed into lockers in highschool.
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#141619 - 01/20/06 09:24 AM
Re: "Burglarisms"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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#141621 - 01/20/06 10:03 AM
Re: "Burglarisms"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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#141624 - 01/22/06 09:31 PM
Re: "Burglarisms"
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 250
Loc: Hailey Young's closet
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#141625 - 01/23/06 01:13 PM
Re: "Burglarisms"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Chicks dig my Upper body strength, my super spin punch is totally tough
_________________________
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#141626 - 01/23/06 01:23 PM
Re: "Burglarisms"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Since everyones already shat in this thread, I want to know why those wheelchairs cost so much? You got a wetbar, GPS, Onstar, XMRadio and a stereo with a big subwoofer in that bastard? I see it's got a powdercoat finish but damn, that isn't all that expensive.
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#141628 - 01/23/06 08:48 PM
Re: "Burglarisms"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
Mine is a titanium alloy, supposedly the same shit they use on F-15s...
I'll buy that. Titanium is expensive and difficult to work. You still shoulda got the wetbar...
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#141631 - 01/25/06 07:00 PM
Re: "Burglarisms"
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 01/25/05
Posts: 737
Loc: Wisconsin
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I havent been online alot  He usually chats it up with me on yahoo. I miss those chats! He is a must have on your speed dial or your yahoo im list.
_________________________
~~~Isn't the kind of girl your parents warned you about... Trust me, they never even saw me coming!~~~
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#141633 - 01/28/06 01:39 AM
Re: "Burglarisms"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
Ahhh! You just reminded me that I should sign on Yahoo Messenger and check all those offline messages n stuff. I dont usually use Yahoo Messenger, more so AIM and I totally forgot. People are probably pissed right about now LOL. oooops. Thanks Mandy for reminding me!!
I hope burg burg will check in more often than he says he will. We'll see.
First, let me PUBLICLY welcome back Mandy...I have been boo hoo-ing her in private messages, but it's nice to see her and her Puking Avatar on the boards. XPT is not the same without you, you are Tough enough to be able to venture into the Monkey Cage, and yet hott enough to warrant a few of these in your posts...Mandy For President....
On a MORE important note....I will be showing up in and around Souther Cal Very Soon....Now, before anyone jumps to conclusions about WHY I am asking this next question, suffice it to say I am just curious...professionally curious....I am writing a Book about the Adult/Porn Industry: Can anyone tell me what are the current Los Angeles-and-surroundings Prices for Prescription Pills 'without a prescription'....? HYPOTHETICAL/CREATIVE RESEARCH purposes only.....What would a young 20 year old porn chick pay for a Vicodin ES tablet? A Percocet 5/500? 10 mg of Valium, or .5 mg of Xanax? Vicoprofen? Oxycontin?
I'd look it up at the DEA website, but I wanted to be authentic in my porn writing research....find it out on a porn board, and do it in a lazy, irresponsible manner.
I am excited about my book.....I haven't named it yet, but this must be what a woman feels like when she just found out she is pregnant....unless that woman is Alyssa West (or babydoll...) Hey it's about drugs and pregnancy, so Babydoll is here to stay in this thread....I need to find that price info....
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