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#127177 - 11/04/05 03:09 PM
Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 01/19/04
Posts: 249
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I thought I'd come here for some help.
Holly Randall is ecstatic that the latest issue of Hustler features her photography on its cover and in its centerfold.
She showed the guy in the newsstand and wanted to show everyone on the street of the conservative neighborhood.
Chaim Amalek writes: "I'm ashamed to say this, but as Holly was out of cash when she saw that issue of Hustler on the newsstand, I was the one who paid for it. TEN DOLLARS! Who knew that crap went for ten bucks? Thursday night, about 6pm. Upper West Side, around 75th and Broadway. On the other hand, she did pay for my Chicken Tika Massala. I purchased a copy of the New York Daily News just so she would have something to hide it in.I mean, there can't be that many fellow members of New York upper crust who read Hustler. You should marry her, that's what I think of her work."
Luke: "You must be so proud. Your parents must be so proud."
Holly's taking a cab back to her hotel.
Luke: "It's five o'clock on a Friday and the regular crowd shuffles in. It's me they've been coming to see to forget about life for a while.
"It'd be funny if you got stuck 40 blocks from your hotel without your glasses."
Holly: "I'd be blind as a bat."
Luke: "That'd be funny if you had to rely on the kindness of strangers."
Holly: "I would be so helpless."
Luke: "You'd be so vulnerable you'd say, 'I'll do anything if you get me home.'"
Holly: "I've never said that. I'm not a hooker, last time I checked."
"So what are you doing?"
Luke: "I'm lying alone with my head on the phone thinking of you till it hurts. I know you hurt too but what else can we do tormented and torn apart. I wish I could carry your smile and my heart for times when my life feels so low. It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring when today doesn't really know, doesn't really know..."
Holly: "What is that?"
Luke: "It's Air Supply's All out of Love."
Holly: "I don't know any Air Supply songs."
Luke: "You're going to learn some."
Holly: "You like Air Supply? Is that a joke?"
Luke: "What? They are my favorite band."
Holly: "Oh no. I've never listened to them."
Luke: "Well, I'll bring a CD over and we'll make out to it."
Holly: "They're made fun of a lot."
Luke: "I'm made fun of a lot, but I'm still standing, better than I ever did. Feeling like a true survivor. Acting like a little kid."
Holly: "Do you have any other bands that you're a fan of?"
Luke: "Bee Gees. Barry Manilow. Elton John. Supertramp. ABBA. The Carpenters. Handel's Messiah."
Holly: "Ohmigod. Honey, honey, honey. No, no, no. Bad. Bad. Bad."
Luke: "You just haven't heard them in the right way."
Holly: "What about Eric Clapton and Led Zeppelin?"
Luke: "Don't like them. I like Debbie Gibson."
Holly: "It's going to take me years to fix you. Debbie Gibson was my first CD. But I was 11. I've grown since then.
"You have the worst collection of music I've ever heard. What am I getting myself into? No, no, no. That's terrible. I'm sorry. I can't see you anymore. That's my mom on the other line..."
Luke: "If you think for one minute that I would sacrifice Air Supply..."
The phone goes dead.
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#127180 - 11/04/05 03:47 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 1342
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Holly's right about everything but Elton John. Ol' Reggie was fantastic from 71-75. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, a double album with 17 tracks, was recorded in a two week flurry. If she likes Zeppelin and Clapton (and kudos to her for having great taste) she can appreciate the brilliance displayed on G.Y.B.R.
Luke, I advise you to purchase Derek and the Dominoes' Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs. The entire album is about unrequited love, and something tells me it will soon be the score to your life if you keep up the Air Supply talk with Holly.
_________________________
"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin
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#127181 - 11/04/05 03:56 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 05/06/05
Posts: 1946
Loc: Outer Space
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Actually, Elton John was the only music I approved of-- I have to admit he's got some great songs. As for the others...
_________________________
I really try to retain a respectful distance from my models, even when I'm lubing up their pussies.
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#127183 - 11/04/05 04:03 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 05/06/05
Posts: 1946
Loc: Outer Space
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I already have a mixed CD in the works... don't worry, I'm working on it!
_________________________
I really try to retain a respectful distance from my models, even when I'm lubing up their pussies.
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#127184 - 11/04/05 04:39 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2415
Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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Luke: "Bee Gees. Barry Manilow. Elton John. Supertramp. ABBA. The Carpenters. Handel's Messiah."  I bet you got the shit beat out of you alot in school. Luke, you might want to hold off on some information for now until the relationship blossoms. Oh yeah, please don't turn your site into a Fayner/Taylor Rain thing. Thanks. 
_________________________
" Bitch, not even a dumptruck full of Gucci bags would get me to do you. "- Gia Jordan response to pornactorforhire
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#127185 - 11/04/05 04:52 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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Quote:
Why don´t you cover more serious stuff, like the fact that ADT is blatantly CENSORING any post regarding to that Shane Diesel HIV-positive guy who´s putting his killer penis inside a lot of talent? And the fact that ADT did that before with the Marc Wallice case, meaning that ADT is conivent with HIV-positive performers on active duty?
oh leave the boy alone. he's busy making love out of nothing at all.
*making love*
since gram is doing stand-up & south is making his mark on the KSEX boards...looks like i'm the Cat by default.
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#127188 - 11/07/05 08:10 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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Quote:
Ultimately, getting attention - positive or negative - is more important to you than meeting someone outside of your narrow circle of sterile Jewish yentas that you're dying to have tie you up in their motherly apron strings.
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#127189 - 11/07/05 08:32 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 1342
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Luke and Holly date night:
7:00pm - Luke pulls out his suit for the evening from an old U-haul box in the closet.
7:15pm - Luke tries in vein to get a few deep wrinkles out of the suit. The one at the crotch is especially stubborn.
7:30pm - Luke does some last minute confirming with Holly. He asks if she wants him to pick her up. Holly screams "NO!", remembering the permanent stain she got on the back of her dress the last time she sat in his van.
8:15pm - Holly arrives at Luke's pad. Debbie Gibson's Only In My Dreams greets her as she walks in. Holly immediately sprints to her car. Luke, not the most athletic of men, is able to catch up because Holly, while in a state of shock and fear, dropped her keys while attempting to unlock the car door. Luke persuades her to stick around.
9:45pm - Dinner at Johnny Rocket's on Melrose. Luke's effort to secure a table at the ultra-posh Dolce by blackmailing Ashton Kutcher with photoshopped pics of him and an underage male prostitute didn't work. So burgers and milkshakes it is.
10:15pm - Dancing at Arena. Luke is doing fine until he spots his former Rabbi getting a handjob from a big-tit blonde in a secluded corner booth. Luke's world crashes in on him.
11:00pm - Luke recovers at UCLA Medical Center from his panic attack. Holly is lovingly at his side. They agree to make it a Blockbuster night.
12:00pm - Holly's home. There's an argument over which movie to watch. Holly makes her case for The Dreamers. Luke is insistent on The Nun's Story. It's a deadlock, so they decide to have awkward sex instead.
_________________________
"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin
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#127190 - 11/07/05 08:34 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
Quote:
Ultimately, getting attention - positive or negative - is more important to you than meeting someone outside of your narrow circle of sterile Jewish yentas that you're dying to have tie you up in their motherly apron strings.
Clever, Monstar, you're smarter than the average Indian.
I'm not sure who you're saying jumped the shark- Arab or Luke, but I think airing out your relationship laundry on a message board is just bad form, especially this early.
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#127191 - 11/08/05 12:34 AM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Quote:
Good call, M. 
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#127193 - 11/08/05 07:56 AM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 01/19/04
Posts: 249
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So Holly invited me over for Chinese food last night. No thanks. I only want Chinese for sex and medicine.
I had my chocolate-banana-soy smoothie and five oranges while watching MNF. Then went by her hovel and she played a bunch of KCRW-type music. It killed my excitement. I found some INXS on her computer and rose to the occasion. But there were only four such songs, so it was a quiet night.
She really is quite bigoted about my music, my hovel and my poverty (financial, musical, etc). Can't wait to meet the folks.
I made a big foupe. Said that when I was waiting for my new endocrinologist, I saw this black doctor behind the counter and thought he was going to be mine and that all sorts of fears of affirmative action went through my head (I'm not arguing that these feelings of mine are right, only that I had them, in fact, I'm appalled that I might have felt anything that was wrong). I've never had a black doctor. Normally I like them female and Chinese.
Anyway, I ended up with a white male Jew. I'll keep you posted on my hormone levels.
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#127194 - 11/11/05 06:23 AM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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The flood of insipid songs from the 1970s-80s flowing in my head is unbearable since I read all about this Luke/Holly "love story" ... Hall & Oates never seemed more cool when compared with Terry Jacks' Seasons in the Sun, at least in the context of this Luke/Holly coupling. Is Holly's "Kiss" really "on your list" master Luke??? Or are you just handling the situation irresponsibly and "Stumbling in" / stumbling out like a Suzi Quatro (aka Leather Tuscadero and the Suedes) song? As for myself, if Guns n Roses' Appetite for Destruction had materialized earlier, like say 1985, I'd have been Prom King a couple years later because the song I lost my (hand-job) virginity to would have been Welcome to the Jungle and not Bryan Adams' Heaven...  Cue either Debbie Boone's "You light up my Life"...or the theme MUSIC from I Dream of Jeannie....take your pick. I personally think Jeannie saying "oooh YES master" and smiling is one of the sexiest images / scenes ever captured on film...Holly would never refer to Luke as Master though  .  Now nothin' can take you away from me We've been down that road before But that's over now You keep me comin' back for more Baby you're all that I want When you're lyin' here in my arms I'm findin' it hard to believe We're in heaven And love is all that I need And I found it there in your heart It isn't too hard to see We're in heaven Oh - once in your life you find someone Who will turn your world around Bring you up when you're feelin' down Ya - nothin' could change what you mean to me Oh there's lots that I could say But just hold me now Cause our love will light the way [Chorus] I've bin waitin' for so long For somethin' to arrive For love to come along Now our dreams are comin' true Through the good times and the bad Ya - I'll be standin' there by you 
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#127195 - 11/11/05 08:07 AM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9181
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Luke won't have any of this because he's too busy maintaining and Air Supply tribute page on Blogspot. I don't really remember much about Air Supply except that they existed, and I probably heard one of their songs after Marilyn McCoo had them on Solid Gold and I began mentally jerking off to the dancers. Then I probably went to my room and put on a Foghat record or something. I might have even put a Pat Benetar record on, until she wrote a song called "Hell Is for Children," which totally freaked me out. 
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#127196 - 11/11/05 11:01 AM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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That pic of Holly all wet in the tighty whities and striped shirt is very sexy. But Luke, stay off the soy. No wonder you're having wood problems.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#127197 - 11/11/05 11:25 AM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 01/19/04
Posts: 249
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Why/how does soy give wood problems? It's high in protein.
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#127198 - 11/11/05 12:06 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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it's one of those things that's probably better than burgers but nobody really knows what the fuck is up with whether it's good or bad. basically, soy's got a bunch of phytoestrogens that can bind to the same receptors as the hormone so when women are doing the menopause thing and making less of it, it's got the potential to make it easier by tricking the receptors so it's a smoother taper down from the hormone levels you had when you were still bleeding and stuff.
the bad stuff is it might interfere with things that prevent you from getting degenerative brain diseases. but it might be good for the lukeisback.com prostate. and if you've already got breast cancer, it might be bad.
it's not worth worrying about, the radon you've breathed, the asbestos you've been around, the fake sugar you drink and the pesticides the mexicans fall on most of the sword for you but residually are everywhere are going to fuck you up far before soy. it's too weak to give you bitch-tits/gyno or make you look like tyce bune when you're naked.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#127202 - 11/19/05 10:50 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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dammit luke, stop being in love and get back to updating your site so we can pretend we're jane goodall.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#127203 - 11/22/05 07:03 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Her hair is Harlow gold, Her lips a sweet surprise, Her hands are never cold, She's got Bette Davis Eyes. She'll turn her music on, you won't have to think twice, She's pure as New York snow, She's got Bette Davis Eyes. And she'll tease you, She'll unease you, All the better just to please you, She's precocious, and she knows just what it takes to make a pro blush, She's got Greta Garbo's stand-off sighs And she's got Bette Davis Eyes. She'll let you take her home, To wet her appetite, She'll lay you on her throne, She's got Bette Davis Eyes. She'll take a tumble on you, Roll you like you were dice, Until you come unglued, She's got Bette Davis Eyes. She'll expose you, when she snows you Off your feet with the crumbs she throws you She's ferocious, and she knows just what it takes to make a pro blush, All the boys think she's a spy, She's got Bette Davis Eyes. And she'll tease you, She'll unease you, All the better just to please you, She's ferocious and she knows just what it takes to make a pro blush, All the boys think she's a spy, And she's got Bette Davis Eyes. Yeah.
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#127204 - 11/22/05 07:08 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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DB, your "masquerade" post made me think of Kim Carnes for the first time in years, but this is her no doubt.
I'm betting Luke adds Kim to his repertoire now.
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#127205 - 11/22/05 08:35 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Well, I copied the above lyrics from some site after a google, and I just noticed that the above words are butchered....there are numerous errors. Oh well, hopefully Luke still buys Kim's Greatest Hits Album.
FYI - In my other post, Masquerade is by BERLIN...Terri Nunn, the lead singer was always one of the best voices I ever heard...she was hot in her day too. Anyway, read the lyrics to Masquerade carefully after 3 or 4 beers and it makes you think of the tragic, beautiful emptiness that is today's typical 18-21 yr female porn chick ...
*edited on the fly* I wonder if Luke has taught Holly "The Safety Dance" (by Men Without Hats) yet? I liked that song alot growing up because it was one of the few popular songs I could dance to from my wheelchair because it resembled so closely an actual epileptic seizure so no one thought it odd...
Edited by Da Burglar (11/22/05 08:52 PM)
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#127206 - 11/22/05 09:36 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Start a new thread about Gary Numan. I'm Here in my car
I feel safest of all.
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#127207 - 11/27/06 02:27 PM
Re: Holly Randall And I Have Had Our First Fight
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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so cute
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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