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The Simp Store

I made this up, but was chicken to order it for any of my vehicles:



-Chuck, Vegetarian fanboy

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Usually I hate those things, but those would be friggin' cool, wtf order it, see if they take the order, I'm sure people would chip in for one if they had the balls to put it on their car.

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on Speed Dial.

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...you are an excellent mom, girlfriend, housekeeper and most of all the best friend a person could want.

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Indeed, she is all those things that you are not.

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I'd call Jeff Van Vonderen

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Call him! Tell him to leave me dirty emails and texxts. I have always had a thing for Jeff, Dr. Drew and Chris Hansen but that's a whole different masturbatory fantasy. Jeff can force my ass in to rehab as long as he visits and forces himself on me after the group meeting or whatever. I never been there so I don't know. I just realized I am an alcoholic.




Now go pet the Monks. Go! Go!

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The sad part is some fucked up mother like Desi Foxx would dress her kids in one of those.

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The sad part is some fucked up grandmother like Desi Foxx would dress her grandkids in one of those.

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FIXED!!

Honestly, I think Desi's past her breeding expiration date.

But, there's always Elli!! Does she do creampies??

If so, the future Barely Legal star of 2028 could be baking in her oven as we speak.

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The sad part is some fucked up mother like Desi Foxx would dress her kids in one of those.

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I don't often get irked out by people's actions, but IMO gobbling loads of cum alongside the one who was once merely a "cum stain" in your uterus, is waaay beyond fucked up parenting. If her daughter didn't seem like a sexually abused, mentally challenged ugly thing, shit might appear less terrible for them.

But, I get the point, I'm a fuck up. Yeah, I'm unstable. I knew that. Thanks.