I decided to come back because I ran out of sandwiches in my little hobo kit-n-kaboodle I made when i ran away from home 10 days ago....let me say first off that it was GREAT to be away from XPT but it is fucked up lousy to be Back.

In no uncertain terms, I DO NOT HAVE ANY ALT-ids that I have posted on or under...I have never done so without it being an obvious joke or stupid ploy, like I did with Ghost of Burg, or my Porn reviewing Alter-ego, Col Kurtz. I'm serious...anyone who thinks that I am another poster needs to take up a new hobby, like hookers or something.

While I was gone, i was struck by lightning...when I awoke, my Penis had grown to 11-1/2 inches and I am now able to actually see and visualize the thoughts and desires in peoples' minds. All I can say NOW is .... Holly Randall is one super-perverted closet whore. In any case, No one is safe now, none of you....I will be calling out everyone, just as I see it.

Many of you were wondering WHY I left, or would leave as it were. Yes, this place has sucked at times...YES, some posters are more annoying than others....but in general I have been a "live-and-let-live/let-Burglarize" Burglar, and XPT's Poster Population is something like a special fauna of bacteria, some nasty, some nice, some in between, but all essential to help the shit move along through the colon and out the asshole. Every now and then, XPT needs and Enema, but not for a cum-farting scene.

I intend to be that Enema for future cleansings....

I am now lifting the block on PMs to me that I had up for a while....since it seems to be such a point of contention, anyone wanting me to call them should send me their phone number. When i do call you, however, I am not responsible for what I say....

I have completed my 30 day whore sabbatical (i.e. I went 30 days no whores...without intoxication-induced Hammock Snugglethons, games of nude scrabble, gobbling of fluids meant for reporduction, or anything like that)...I will nw resume my twice monthly trysts but with ONE difference: I am now a certified Captain Save-a-ho (Jesus came to me after the lightning strike, and although he refused to heal my crippledness, he gave me a Huge schlong and annointed me Senior Captian); and now my new "moral compass" directs me to PAY GORGEOUS, DAMAGED, INTOXICATED women to NOT degrade themselves or have sexual relations with me....UNLESS, they themselves decide that we must Fornicate for certain acceptable reasons. In other words, I myself will NOT be "Fixin' to Fornicate" with the whores of Babylon who happen to prance over to my pad for pesos. I will be simply enaging in mutual Self-esteem therapy sessions....I do not know what effect this will have upon what i write, but if you are expecting to read future burg-posts about me feeding percocets and splooge to some hot 25 year old stripper with a bad back, you are Shit out of luck.

That's a terrible waste of a God-given big dick and a ton of splooge.

I'm gonna have to tell Isabel about this, but she's not gonna be happy.

your have about as much will power as you have leg power.

My name is Guapo and I'm white as a Wonder Bread factory.

ADT mod policy in effect?

oh burg...

With all the money you've wasted on prostitutes you could have probably funded a medical research team to find a way to regenerate severed spinal chord tissue.

Hey buddy, all jabs aside, you're okay in my book.




































dead legs.

No one has ever been offended by you. Just bored by you. Go away.

Yes, I meant Ceramic/PolandSpringsWater or whatever his name is.