POV Pervert
Directed by Mike John
Redlight

You: Who are you?
Katsumi: Who I am?

Ok, so it’s not Jesse James meets Frankenstein’s Daughter or nothin’, but for porn, POV Pervert is pretty high-concept. See, this cat Mike John has correctly guessed that most guys are really not interested in whatever skinbag is attached to the stunt dick that’s currently boning his fave slutstar, and hell, if there was some way to get the guy and his hairy ass out of the picture altogether, well…Joe Pornfreak would more than likely slap down a few bucks for it.

Well, Shazam!

In POV Pervert, YOU are the stunt dick. Throughout this DVD, the camera remains locked in to the point-of-view angle of the bone man, and if you just turn down the sound and add yr own filthy come-ons, it’s sorta kinda like you’re the one sexing up these prime cooze canyons. So, does it work? Yeah. Maybe too well. I bet some of our more vociferous spank monkeys are gonna end up jamming their dicks right into the TV screen, ruining the beautiful moment in an explosion of glass, semen, plasma, and shredded dick meat. So for Chrissakes, be careful.

The first lovely waiting for you behind the TV screen is Katsumi, a tight, pretty little geisha girl with cupcake tits, a willing sphincter, and very little understanding of the En-grish language. Asian-centric smuthounds are gonna pop their corks over this chick way before their floating dick doppelganger does.

19 year old Brianna Blaze does you/Mike next. With her doll face and big doe eyes, she’s a natural choice for a long, lingering blowjob, and she’s in fine form here. She slaps your dick around a little, which is fucked up (ouch), but otherwise, a solid performance from a really pretty up n’ cummer. Hey, now you are walking up several flights of stairs behind Ariana Jollee, who’s wearing a pair of white short-shorts, and little else. I’m amazed you made it upstairs without tumbling down them. Jollee is the total package, great face and a truly amazing, possibly evil body, and here’s your big chance to flip her over and do her doggy style while she jams her fingers knuckle deep into her ass. Righteous. One thing, tho- who the fuck is she calling Jeff?

Frenchy (well, Montreal counts, right) Alexia Knight could win a Britney lookalike contest on an off-night, and even if they are a bunch of spineless creeps, when it’s coming out of the slithering tongue of a 22 year old rusé peu bruit like this, that fuckin’ accent is sexy, Jack. Man, this girl’s ass looks like something you’d invent to lure men to their deaths. Pure sex, even if she does take her shot of gravy like it’s boiling pus, or something.

Haley’s kind of a brat, really, a mall-rat with buck teeth who still needs a good year or two on the tree before she’s really ripe, so we’ll skip her for now, and head right to the main course- Katja Kassin. Katja “My-ass-is-the-most-powerful-weapon-in-the-known-universe” Kassin. I mean, have you ever seen this thing? It’s gotta stretch 40 inches across, and it’s perfect. Gigantic, and perfect. And here it is, waiting for you to plunder. Are you fuckin’ kidding me? This is what the invented porn for, man. In real life, I’d be convulsing in aftercum shocks at the mere smell of Katja, but through the miracle of POV Pervert, I can practice again and again, until I get it right. And believe me, I will. Hell yea.

I dunno, maybe you like to watch the guys sweat or bang their balls into one another during DP’s; me, I don’t miss them a bit.

-Sleazegrinder