i get some fun emails
im sure we all do
but this one made me laugh first thing this morning:

WE PAY CASH AND TRAVEL!

WANNABE A PORN STAR?!
This project is a thrilling online porn star elimination competition, “Apprentice” style for models seeking to enter the adult video business. The overall winner will receive 7000 in cash and get the chance to work with a major adult video production house, and runners-up from the second round on will receive bonus prizes in addition to base compensation. You will be paid, in cash, for every shoot you do with us, upfront! Prior adult work is fine, and welcomed! This is a spoof site, it supposed to be fun!

How it works:

Round 1:
Five pools of four competitors each.
This round will take place in a simple set in which the performance and enthusiasm of the competitors can be easily evaluated. Make-up and hair will be the responsibility of each individual. Each competitor will be required to perform oral on and have sex with a male performer (anal if available), and will be rated by the website audience for overall appeal. There are no set standards for judging other than the level of audience enthusiasm for the competitor. Three competitors will go forward to the second round from each pool. Contestants will be paid industry standard rates for shooting, but no prizes will be awarded at this level.

Round 2:
Five pools of three competitors each.
The second round will be similar to the first, except girl/girl action will be introduced. Again, one contestant will be eliminated from each pool, but one runner-up judged to be especially interesting would also be carried forward to the next round. Winners and the promoted runner-up from this round will receive a prize in addition to the standard pay rates for shooting.

Round 3:
Ten semi-finalists in two pools of five each.
The third round will be shot as a professional production including lighting and set design. Costume, make-up and hair artists will be on hand to assist contestants. One competitor goes forward from each pool, and one runner-up is promoted. Significant prizes are awarded to the two finalists and promoted runner-up.

Round 4:
The three finalists will be flown to an exotic tropical location for the final production of the series.
The format of the shoot will be as for round 3, to include boy/girl, girl/girl, oral and anal (if you are available for this type of scene) with commensurate rates of pay. Each finalist will receive additional valuable prizes, and the overall winner will be offered a contract with a major adult video production company.


How the winners are determined:
Runners-up will be voted off the show by on-line viewers.
[how does this work?

Who we are:
We are is an established company in the field of adult entertainment with a proven track record of multi-media project management, video production, web based marketing and distribution and talent recruitment and development.

We are developing this exciting no-holds barred contest for distribution via the web, cable and eventually DVD and seek attractive, personable, competitive adult models who have not yet featured in a widely distributed adult video.

Your safety is our highest concern, and every show will be previewed and monitored by our safety and legal personnel.

STD testing will be required for participants where sexual contact is involved.

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let the slut-lympics begin!

Unless the finals include an endurance round designed by the nice people that built insex, I'm not really interested.

Also, this seems sketchy. That's a lot of money to be throwing at a concept like this. I guess so long as you get paid first, it would be fine, but they would need to start eliminating contestants in a hurry. Even if they only pay the girls 300 - 500 dollars a shoot, this looks to be goddamned expensive in a hurry just for round one.

Also, a seven thousand dollar grand prize?!?!?

That's just weak.

Fenris