It's been an interesting, educational, and enlightening experience posting on Tony's forum. I've learned a few things that taught me what I already knew, but doubted.

Porn is not a safe, happy place where girls end up like Jenna Jameson, and get a star on the boulevard, or an E Television special.

What porn really is, is a bunch of girls who need attention so bad that they're willing to sacrifice the rest of their lives to get it.

We'll see how Jenna ends up when the looks are gone, the husband is gone, and other parents don't want to hang out with her because she's a whore. That will be E special number 2, in about ten years.

I have learned here, in this forum, that I don't want any part of porn. I'm going to have my Dish subscription to the Ecstasy Channel removed, and forget about trying to change the mind of the girl I knew, who went into this dark, sad business.

It's funny how some human beings think they are so special, so different, that somehow only they will defy the laws of gravity, become 'stars', and live happily ever after.

All one has to do to understand what porn is really about should go to either 'Dead Porn Stars' on RAME.net, or look at the after lives of ‘stars’ in the catalogue at lukeford.com.

I think Bill O’Reilly said it best:

“A porn star is nothing more than a hooker, with a camera crew.”

Tis true.

Funny, when I didn't know how this game worked, I enjoyed porn. Now, it simply doesn't do it for me anymore.

Knowing that the girls I'm watching will become prostitutes, will end up having Herpes, Gonnorhea, Syphillis, Hepatitis, and Chlamydia, and may attempt suicide just doesn't get me hard. When I was clueless about all of this, I didn't mind a bit.

The girl I used to know is on this track, and going down in flames fast. There ain't a damn thing I can do about it. She too, beleives she will defy the laws of gravity.

So, in ending this nightmare, here are some words for her:

To the Girl I used to know...

In your haze, and what is probably a rigorous work schedule, you probably forgot that we met a year ago this week. If I recall correctly, you told me you were a 'born again Christian', wouldn't get naked on your cam on the internet, and claimed you regretted stripping when you were underage.

However, the very first time you had a problem paying your bills, you caved in to desparation, and took the easy way out.

I thought you were tougher than that. I really did. I beleived you, I looked up to you, and I really thought you had a spark of life that would burn and burn.

You screamed at me in May because you knew I was right, and you knew I was the only person who had the guts to tell you you were wrong.

I'm still right, and I don't care if you hate me for it.

I miss you, I still hold out hope for you, and if you ever decide to leave this bullshit behind and grow up...I'll still welcome you back with open arms.

I'll say it again, I said it then...

GO TO COLLEGE.

College allows a young woman to use her head, instead of her body. As you'll soon learn, maybe you've learned it already...making a living with your body is HARD WORK, and it can be PAINFUL. I saw the look on your face in your second video. Please don't even attempt to tell me that felt good. I know it didn't, and I know you were doing the best you could just to stay concious.

Maybe this is just something you have to go through, to learn how right I was. I can only pray you get through it, and get through it fast, and with as few scars as possible.

You didn't know it, but the signs of how this was effecting you were present on your face when we went out to eat. My wife saw it, and the other girl we brought saw it too. Both of them said that after that first video you did, it looked like some of the life had been sucked out of you.

I have to agree, darling, you did look jaded.

Anyways, I have decided NOT to be George C. Scott, in the movie 'Hardcore', and follow you into this industry of sadness. I did consider it, but from the education I've gotten here...

...I now realize what I told you was correct, and I stand by my statement.

GO TO COLLEGE.

Yes, I still have your phone numbers.

No, I won't call and bug you. You know I'm not a stalker, never have been, and won't stoop to that.

It's time to let you go.

It's time to let you learn from this mistake.

My business is ready to go now, and I won't have much time to be writing in this forum.

I know most of these folks here will miss me, even though they say they hate me. I'll miss you too.

To you folks, I say, please attempt to do a better job at making porn a safe place to work. That's my last request to all of you. Make your world a better, safer place, and good things will happen.

As for me, I'm getting ready to make my own world a better place. All of this hard work I've been doing is about to pay off. When it does, I'll be making more money than you, darling, with every transaction-

...and I don't even have to get fucked in the ass.

I can grow old with what I'm doing, I can have kids with what I'm doing, and I can respect what I'm doing.

Maybe one day, when you grow up, you'll get out of this shit, and find something you feel the same about. I can only hope.

Track 3 on the new Vertical Horizon CD is called 'Forever'.

It's cheesy, but it does happen to say all the things I'm feeling, just with much better music and a great band.

I guess that's about it. Think of me when you hear that song, and good luck.

I'm going away now, but if you ever get out of this...

...I will welcome you back with open arms, and so will she.

And by the way, yeah, I still hate your fucking mom.

Don't worry. When you wake up from this nightmare you're stuck in...you'll hate her too.

If she was any kind of real mom, she would have locked you in the house and made sure you stayed on the right path. She should have intervened. And she should have known about the diseases too, if she really is a fucking nurse.

Instead, she set you down the road to self-destruction.

Bad, bad mom.

Get out of this before it's too late, babe, and get your ass in college- full time.

Your ass won't hold out much longer if you keep using it the way you're using it now. An ass just isn't meant for things like that. You'll be wearing diapers at 20, if you keep doing this to yourself.

I stole that from Scott Fayner.

How he deals with living in shit, I really have no clue. Must be some sort of human fly genome in that boy.

I'm going to get back to living a healthy life now.

Maybe one day, you will too, babe.

I will pray for you.

Good luck, and goodbye.

The Outsider

OH THANK GOD FINALLY!!!

Sometime please tell me i get credit for running this ahole off here, at least partial credit!!

I'm sure its too good to be true i'm sure he wont stop, but for however long it lasts thatnk god almighty we are free at last

He's done this shit before where he says he is going to stop blah,blah,blah.Then he changes his name and starts all over again.

well lets cross our fingers!!

He can only buy a new computer for a new IP address to return in disguise but I dont think that will ever work too. The way he expresses his words would be so obvious... how he talks about himself in greatness and puts everyone else down because all he can see is the bad side of life. He'll be back for more and fail badly. We'll spot him. More than one head on this board will see him with no problemo.

haha... lol "go to college" some people in the industry hav egone to college. What about the people who have nothing to do with the business and never went to college, shouldn't they go? DUH. This dude is better off out of here.

WOOHOO!

haha you guys are gonna think I'm crazy but I checked to see who's lurking on this site and it showed that THE OUTSIDER was reading all of our replies at 9:24am this morning after he bidded his goodbye... he never replied so far. Which is a good thing. But it's obvious that what we say is important. He addicted to XXXPORNTALK... hail to Jeff and Malice!

This idiot Michaellmb is talking bullshit again. He is posting like the girl he is trying to save is on this forum. "Go to college" which girl are you trying to talk to Gen Padova or Claire James? The only reason you want out of porn is nobody would hire you or your old wife. Face it buddy she isn't 18-24 years old and hot. If you were so scared of diseases then you would stop swinging. This guy is so full of bullshit that if I see this guy in public I will chop him up with a samurai sword like in kill bill.

That 'Outsider' is a total bummer.

Gen, I think we are all addicted and frankly I can't figure out why. LOL

Quote:

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haha you guys are gonna think I'm crazy but I checked to see who's lurking on this site and it showed that THE OUTSIDER was reading all of our replies at 9:24am this morning after he bidded his goodbye... he never replied so far. Which is a good thing. But it's obvious that what we say is important. He addicted to XXXPORNTALK... hail to Jeff and Malice!

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Who is this fella, anyway?claire james's 2-day boyfriend?or gen, is he your boyfriend?
he does kinda speak sense, u know.only thing is, he's an asshole about it.

He started out making valid points until he started flaming and everything went to shit.

Never even knew just who the fuck this LaHooZaHer is,in the first place....

I know, it's just easier to say you have to buy a new computer. I rather do that anyways. IT's nice to have new computers, LOL.

He had somegood points but also was very irrational and ignorant at the sametime. There is no good conversation to be made if a person is closed minded. Period.

Oh and one more thing... the only reason why The Outsider appears to have great grammer is because 90% of the time he goes back to edit his mistakes and re-word what he says. (at the botton of most of his posts says "Edited by....."

For crying out loud...Gen, why don't you just admit you're in love with me?

Jeez...

It's pretty obvious.

Yeah, I came in to see what you all wrote. Is there a crime in that? It's interesting to me that you love me so much that you actually checked the log activity. Damn.

As for my proper grammar, I guess that comes from teaching College English. I think bad grammar does deserve editing, and yes, I do happen to edit my posts.

It's pretty obvious that none of you actually want me to go away. However, I really don't see much point in arguing any more.

I took a look at a picture of Gen today.

You're actually pretty attractive, Gen.

I still wouldn't touch you without a full panel test, won't pay you for sex, and aren't particularly interested in saving you. You're too far gone for help, I think.

Plus, you're still just another tool in the toolbox of all these dorks. You could be so much more than that, yet you still want to associate yourself with people who enjoy talking about the latest girl who tried to kill herself, or how some girl who had a nervous breakdown on a set didn't show up for a bukkake.

What does that say about you, that you consider these people your friends?

Your anger at me isn't really anger at all.

It's a test.

You would like to know there's a guy out there who really is a good person, and really isn't full of shit. That's why you're stalking me by looking at the log sheets, and won't let it go. You want to break me down to the level of all these other dorks, but I just won't go.

The girl I knew tried to do that, too, Gen. It didn't work for her, either. She tried to get me to cheat on my wife, she tried to get me to contradict myself. She failed.

In fact, she sat on my lap, kissed me for an hour, while my wife was asleep upstairs. I'm allowed to kiss, but not allowed to go further than that with any girl we get together with, without my wife. I stuck to my promise to my wife, and it drove the girl nuts. In fact, I even did a shoot with her, in our bedroom, while my wife was at work, and didn't touch her, except for a kiss at the end. We also called my wife in the middle of the shoot, to say hello. That's the kind of guy I am. I tell my wife everything, and am honest to a fault. It blew that girl's mind that I wouldn't make a move on her, as she was lying there on our bed, in the white lace bra panties and thigh high outfit I had bought for her. Literally. In some way, I'm probably partially responsible for her venture into porn. Partially, she's doing it to get me back. It's the kind of thing girls do when they lose for the first time in their lives.

That's why she called me, after not talking to me for two months, to announce her stage name, the movie she was in, and ask if I wanted to 'hang out'. She wanted revenge.

The only revenge she's getting, however, is on herself.

The life she's leading, just like the life you're leading, dear Gen, is similar to Russian Roullete. One day, the bullet will be in the chamber, and the odds won't be on her side.

The two of you are amazingly alike.

You both want to conquer me.

Yet, when called out, Gen, you chicken out of actually meeting me. Shit, this whole fucking board would pay good money to see that, but you're too chickenshit to go through with it.

So, what's the point?

I was thinking about emailing you to tell you all this, but I'm not sure I can trust you. I don't particularly want my email address spammed on this board, so all these jerks can try to send me viruses.

There really isn't much point in going around and around on this with you if you're too chickenshit to meet, or talk on the phone.

If you want my help, or my friendship, you also need to prove you are actually you. For all we know, Gen, it's your boyfriend that's writing all this shit, and all of us are just idiots for beleiving him.

So, this is my question to you, Gen...

If I email you, will you act responsibly with my address, or will you do what I think you will?

I'd love to be wrong about someone, for a change.

I think I know what you'll do.

If this game is going to continue, it's going to have to go to the next level. I'm not going to waste my valuable time and big brain on possibly talking to some promotion person for Gen Padova.

If you want my friendship, which it's apparent to all that you do...you're going to have to give, Gen.

Shit, some guy was even asking if I was you're boyfriend.

Nah, I'm not her boyfriend.

...not just yet.

This relationship that you apparently want to continue depends upon your very next post.

If you let your emotions take over, and say something nasty, I swear- that's it. I only came back in here for you. However, if you say something nice, and promise me you won't act like a dork- I'll email you.

There are very few people in this world actually worth knowing, Gen. I happen to be one of those people. I'd say this: Don't screw this up...because...

I may be telling the truth.

Ball in your court, Gen.

Ball in your court.

The Outsider

You need to listen to what I have to say instead of reading between the lines! I'm surprised you were an english teacher... you can't even listen to what I'm saying. Better yet, UNDERSTAND! How idiotic is that? All you do is run along with your little assumptions and stories your mind puts together.

First off, I never cared to listen to this mystery girl of yours. I'm not interested in your little games you've got going on with your wife. That's your business not mine and keep it that way. I don't care that she left you, I don't care that you miss her or feel sorry for her, whatever. Drop it.

Secondly... I don't want to meet you because it'd do nothing for myself nor yourself. Move on with your life of praising your worth elsewhere, go do something else to make your wife happy instead of wasting your time here. It is defnitely not obvious that anyone wants you to stay at this message board. They're sick of your nonsense talk that doesn't make any sense and they're sick of your pity.

Taking hours of my day to meet a stranger as yourself that talks like a psycho path, seriously believing that a stranger like myself is in love with you? GET REAL! Wake up! Stop dreaming! Step into reality and live the real life for a change. Get over it!

I have no feelings for you over the pathetic words that you write on this message board. Your words are redundant and worthless to me because you never get it through your thick skull of the things I say directly to you. You can write out the english language but you certainly can not understand a bit of it. It's a shame. Pay attention more if that means anything to you.

Call me a chicken shit all you want but I rather spend my free time with my family that I don't see often when they're not busy with life. I have my animals to take care of, I do volunteer work at the animal adoption station in Canoga Park, I work like a normal person does, I do porno, I talk to kind people who have respect to maintain a decent conversation without havok like yourself with fans through email. I try to have free time to myself and do the things I like with myself and my boyfriend. I'm happy with that. I don't need to meet you. No desire. For the milliionth time, get that.

You're really strange for even bringing the word "love" onto this site in association with me to begin with. What are you thinking? No wonder why the true meaning of love is lost. Because people like you use it carelessly. Think about it for a change. And not just five fucking minutes.

Third... I'm not arguing, I'm trying to successfully get you to understand what I'm saying. Comprehension shouldn't be the most difficult task for a living human being. Its frustrating at the most part and that's all it is. I'm not a failure so I try. Call it a hobbie. Nothing more!

Fourth thing on my mind.... you must not compare a person you know to someone you don't know just by similar chosen words spoken. That's wrong and disrespectful. But then again where was the respect to begin with right? Oh well... on any note, dont compare me to some other person. It's fine to hear "oh you remind me of,.... blah blah" but anything deeper than that is rediculous. You think I really want to listen to your misfortunes over and over again? Once is enough. I think I got the point. I'm not as dumb as you think I am.

And to clarify a topic you brought up before... just because a person doesn't go to college whether they're in the business or not, doensn't mean they're dumb, don't know anything, ignorant or haven't expanded their mind at all. Everyday life experiences are consistently expanding our minds. Even people in the porn world with a college education, me being part of that pool are not dumb. There are people who never even finished high school who are exceptional conversation partners that could challenge you to a wonderful conversation anyday. So stop praising yourself with all your success and putting everyone else down nonchallantly just because people didnt follow your same foot steps.

Oh and one other thing... I checked to see who was online in hopes TonyMalice was on so I could ask him a few questions. Having to avoid picking up the phone to call him. Don't get all your hopes up. You said you were leaving and I thought you were a man of his words. Obviously not.

I can't believe you would even have the nerve to say this

"I still wouldn't touch you without a full panel test, won't pay you for sex, and aren't particularly interested in saving you. You're too far gone for help, I think. "

Why? because I wouldn't have sex with anyone outside the industry anyways except for my other half who accepts all that I do prior to even being my boyfriend. Also, you have no right to even think about the possibilities of having sex with me wether it'd be something you'd do or not. Just get it in your head already, I'm not considerable to begin with.So stop bringing it up. You always talk about sex, is this the only thing that means something to you? Is that what life is all about to you? Besides all this money you claim you to have and do nothing with other than buy BMWs? The most driven car where people get in accidents running red lights because they don't know how to talk on the phone and drive at the sametime LOL. That's the besides the point, I just had to throw that in.

You said it yourself that you're not particularily interested in "saving" me, so leave. You have no other reason to write messages to me. So go! STick to your word and GO! It can't be that hard. Or are my WRONG intriguing words really digging into your skin? Perhaps I'm just humoring... glad to be of service. But I highly doubt that, it's just the fact that someone is actually talking to you. You feel worthy don't you. Geez... go find yourself for a change.

Russian Roulette, bullet in the chamber, call it what you will. You're better off dropping this altogether. All in all there is no relationship here other than simple talk on a xxx message board. Plain and simple. I can understand that, but can you? I'd be surprised, really.

No emails, no meeting, no more talking to me, no more babbling about this mystery porn whore, no more STD worry talk from you because you obviously don't car ENOUGH to make a difference and help, so you have no right to talk. Except for the fact that you being here is supporting everything I say when people agree with me.

Boy and I never thought logic would ever get this difficult. So run along and correct your english at other message boards. Join a millionaire's club where people really care about your money and bmw's. Go to some swinger party or something to fulfill a void you have with your wife and multiple partners. And i'm sure you can find another attractive chick who's naive enough to let someone like yourself try to mold her living. Maybe you'll feel better that way.

I wouldn't want to make you any more angry than you are, already. Have a good one. Now leave for crying outloud.

There are moments in life where God literally sets up chance opportunities. I don't think he makes our decisions. That's why we have what's called, 'free will'.

This means that we have the 'free will' to decide whether we'll do the right thing, or the wrong thing.

What I try to do, dear Gen, is to provoke people.

When one provokes, an exciting energy is created.

I created that energy in you.

Through all of your arguement and detail sharing, I noticed a common theme...anger. You live in a state of constant anger.

Heck, I dunno, maybe the fact that your fucking dad attended your amateur stripping debut has something to do with it. Sure sounds odd to me. Sounds like you two had a little more than a normal dad-daughter relationship going on. If I had a daughter, and she told me she was gonna strip- and I HAD NOT slept with her- I'd fucking lock her in the house, send her to home school, and hire a nanny to make sure she doesn't leave the house if I'm not home. But hey, I guess I'm just odd.

Showing off for Daddy is what you're still trying to get over. In fact, most of the porn work you do is probably some attempt at getting him back.

So when some stranger steps in and says he can look inside your soul, tell you what needs to be fixed, tell you how it got dented...you tell him to go fuck himself.

Okay then, I'll go fuck myself.

Good luck with that 'free will' of yours, babe.

This choice will stand out in your brain as a dumb one very soon.

Oh, and have fun with all your quality friends on this board.

I'm sure they'll all be very happy to talk about you, just as they do all the other girls, when you go down the toilet, too.

I'll let you win this one, but I'm not sure what you've won.

If you ask me, it looks like a very quick ticket to Hell.

Good luck with that.

The Outsider

Michaellmb,
Why don't you just tell us what the girls name is. We all think you are just making it up. You have been full of bullshit ever since you entered this forum. There is not one truth to any of your words. You and your wife sign on to a real life tv show - fell through huh? Your wife was going to be the next Jenna Jameson- never happened huh? You were going to be the next Rocco- never came true huh? Studios were dying to sign you two for a big contract- in your dreams huh? I bet you have no money and you are not as rich as you say- full of shit huh? Remember in porn we run through bullshitters like you everyday. You can't believe how many losers like you pitch ideas to me and brag about nothing. My motto is "I believe it when I see it". You won't get any respect in porn anyways unless you earn your stripes. That means working in our gutter and trenches.
So why don't you just leave and stop bullshitting people. If you were a christian you have committed extreme deceit.
I feel sorry for you. You must be a very lonely, self loathing piece of shit.

Well put.

Quote:

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Michaellmb,
Why don't you just tell us what the girls name is. We all think you are just making it up. You have been full of bullshit ever since you entered this forum. There is not one truth to any of your words. You and your wife sign on to a real life tv show - fell through huh? Your wife was going to be the next Jenna Jameson- never happened huh? You were going to be the next Rocco- never came true huh? Studios were dying to sign you two for a big contract- in your dreams huh? I bet you have no money and you are not as rich as you say- full of shit huh? Remember in porn we run through bullshitters like you everyday. You can't believe how many losers like you pitch ideas to me and brag about nothing. My motto is "I believe it when I see it". You won't get any respect in porn anyways unless you earn your stripes. That means working in our gutter and trenches.
So why don't you just leave and stop bullshitting people. If you were a christian you have committed extreme deceit.
I feel sorry for you. You must be a very lonely, self loathing piece of shit.

---

There's a big difference between anger in general and frustration over stupidity like yourself. I'm sure you're capable of defining the difference.

My father is fucking awesome. There's never been any abuse or incest up bringing. The fact is, my father is secure with himself, I'm secure with myself, as well as my mother. It's not like I got up stage for my very first time and masturbated. I danced around the pole, climbed it a few times. Ever see a girl dance on stage with a pole for the first time? Not very appealing... it's not like my father was looking at me like i'm a piece of meat and if he was, he keeps that to himself and never goes further. It's called respect and morals. It's not like he's never seen a naked body to begin with. Not like my body is entirely different to the next girl on stage. You make it sound like a Christian going out and fucking the football team and doing some street drugs or something.

There shouldn't be any shame for what's natural. A stupid amateur contest, me being the first time ever dancing in front of people, let alone naked, trust me, I was aweful. So get over it and stop trying to read too far into things.

I'm quite well in tuned with myself, my soul, my surroundings, my aura's limitation, need I go on? I can take care of myself and I know what I need. I know what I went through in good times as well as bad. I know what I need to heal my minor wounds. And I know what will always continue to make me happy. So please, dedicate your own time in helping yourself. You need it!

Thanks for posting,Outsider,for we all here have now found somebody who absolutely reminds us that compared to you, both Dave Pounder and Brandon Irons are the epitome of Fonzie-style coolness.
A really,really scary thought,but you all get my point here,right?!

Dave Pounder and Brandon Irons Fonzie coolness? That was funny shit.The Outsider a world-class bullshiter.

god damn this guy!!!

ok piece of shit if you are gonna stay on this board, level with me, tell me where you graduated high school from, come on ball is in your court pussy!

He started off well but he showed his true colours farther into his post,Eh

I don't mean to be a prick, but where exactly do I find this, "where are they now", type info in LUKEFORD.COM?!? or how Outsider refers to as (look at the after lives of ?stars?).

Just for kicks you know!!!