STEPS TO BECOMING THE MOST EXTREME GIRL IN PORN
For satirical purposes only!
- Must be willing to do an anal scene in every title you appear in.
- Must do a mindless number of dpp scenes.
- Must do a mindless number of dap scenes - until you can rosebud your anus.
- Must attempt a triple penetration scene.
- Must be a smoker. Must be willing to smoke during oral sex, or smoke with your pussy. Smokey mouthed piss shows can also be a plus. (ie work with Max Hardcore)
- Must be willing to drink cum that has been farted out of your rectum into a glass.
- Must be willing to stick all varieties of objects (of all sizes) into your anus. Paint, fruit, vegetables, eggs, beads, popcans, bottles, pylons, huge cocks are all examples of objects that can be used.
- Must do at least one Gag Factor or Slap Happy blowjob scene. Try to include plenty of deep-gagging in the scene, and it MUST result in vomit. The more vomit the better. (ie work with Brandon Irons, Jay Ashley or Johnny Thrust at least once)
- Must start to incorporate vomit into some of your sexplay. Examples include vomiting on your partner or getting vomited upon. (ie. work with Max Hardcore at least once).
- Must be willing to piss during sexplay. Getting pissed on or guzzling piss is always a plus. The more piss you ingest, the better off you are. Flipping over and urinating into your own mouth is also a major plus.
- Must felch as often as possible. Spice things up and drink it with a straw or blow bubbles. Swapping with felched cum is a major plus. Scooping with a spoon is also a plus.
- Must be willing to drink as much cum as possible. The more cum you ingest in one sitting the better. Gargling is a major plus.
- Must be willing to perform a gangbang scene. The more men the better. Shows what an insatiable whore you are.
- Must be willing to appear in a Pink Eye video. Appearing as the woman who holds open the eye of the Pink Eye victim, as well as, the girl who takes the Pink Eye. Either would be great but both are a major plus.
- Must be willing to do at least one asphyxiation scene. May include doing deepthroat while being held underwater, while somebody is plugging your nose.
- Must be willing to get slapped around and called every derogatory name in the book. Must be open to some amount of violence in your sexplay. The rougher the better, as they say.
- Must complete two nasty bukkake scenes for JMProductions. One where all the loads are deposited on your face, and another, where you are turned over into the piledriver position and each load is deposited into her open vagina being held open with a speculum.
- Must spit and cuss as much as possible. Try to make every second word a cuss word!
- Must do plenty of fisting scenes. Anal fisting and footing are always a plus.
- Must give off huge vaginal or anal gapes when called for.
- Must be open to a Cocktails-type scene, which incorporates rough sex with the drinking of a cocktail created from piss, vomit, spit and enema fluids.
- Must fight with at least one of your co-stars on camera. Fans love a porn-diva.
- Must have at least one anal accident - the messier the better. This will be saved as the extra ‘gross-out’ scene on the DVD release of this movie. Raincoaters will adore you.
- Must do an anal and vaginal creampie. The more loads simultaneously deposited internally in said hole, the better. Receiving an anal creampie-facial from another performer can be a major plus.
- Spread rumors about having appeared in some obscure Euro scat or beastiality videos. It can be a major plus to your career.
- Spread rumors about having had an affair with a family member preferrably an immediate member. Incestuous relations can be a good thing for a porngirl. Any videos or photos are also a plus. (see Bisexual Britni)
- Lastly, attempt a 65 man anal creampie video. You might not ever work again, but raincoaters will spank off to you daily.
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