I've developed a mad crush on this woman I've become familiar with at work. I think it may be developing. We pass eachother notes just like in highschool with hearts & smilies on him. But in recent conversations, she's been dropping hints about dark stuff in her past. It's like she's trying to prepare me in case I find it alienating. "I'm no angel....There's stuff I regret" that sort of thing. It's giving me nightmares because I picture her getting throatfucked and gangbanged and her bukkaked face getting shoved toward me (i.e. the camera) hatefully by her hair so I can get a really good look. I awake from these in so much psychic torment that I'm doubled over with pain in my stomach, emitting a low groan that threatens to become an anguished caterwaul. I really like this woman. I cannot stand these thoughts about her. But I cannot help it either. I want to take her out to dinner and carefully draw the information out of her, make her feel comfortable, listen calmly and with warm understanding like a true friend. But I know that before the appetizers are even gone and before real conversation has begun I'll be nervously running my hands through my hair and will suddenly erupt at her "WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?!!!!!" beasting my fists on the table and making a huge scene. It's inevitable.