Duke,

I think you subconsciously identify ADT moderators like MLyons with your demanding father, whose love you could never win over. His towering intellect and infallible expertise on lighting in porn movies intimidate you, and so you lash out against his authority as all-powerful judgement giver by making clumsy, ill-conceived posts whose manifest content appears harmless, but are actually passive-aggressive attempts to express your self-loathing. These childish instances of acting out are meant to illicit the warm, maternal sympathies of Steph, whom you subconsciously wish will wrap you in her tender bosom and protect you from the viscitudes of adult life, which you find too terrifying to face.

In short, Duke, grow up and come to the Dark Side.