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#95588 - 04/13/05 02:01 AM Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Baker’s Dozen 4
Starring Hillary Scott, Lucy Thai, Amanda Warren, Lexxi Ripca, Candi Sweet, Monique La Rue, Michael Stefano, John Strong, Manuel Ferrara, Steve Holmes, Dick Nasty, Brian Surewood and 60 sperm doners.

Directed, produced, cinematography and still photography by Brandon Iron. Edited by Will Wix. Lighting: Juan Cuba, Ryan Knox. Behind the scenes: Juan Cuba, Ryan Knox
Platinum X Pictures.

Going back to his Extreme Associates days, and his legendary Slap Happy series, Brandon Iron has proved that he has a knack for innovation. His latest series, Baker’s Dozen, is unique in that it provides not one but two climaxes. The formula for the series, which seems pretty much standard criteria for the majority of the gonzo vids released today, involves a young nubile hottie getting her pussy and ass worked over by a stud, or, in some cases, two studs. Following the erotic tussle she is then hosed down with the obligatory cumloads. But, in other vids, the scene would simply end, and another would begin. Not here though as Brandon throws a proverbial wrench into the formula by ushering out a dozen horny studs, who had been watching the sexual festivities. The girl proceeds to suck their cocks until they are ready to pop. Along for the ride is the 'clean-up girl', another female, whose time in the business usually occupies the length of time it took to shoot the first part of the scene. After all twelve studs have finished blasting their cum ropes across the girl’s face until it is completely covered, the clean-up girl then moves in to lick (or slurp) her clean.

With more than 200 loads blasted and a half dozen satisfied whores, Brandon Iron moves into the fourth installment in the Baker’s Dozen series and the heat continues to rise with each new volume.


Hillary Scott and John Strong

Baker's Dozen 4 begins with Hillary Scott, a 21 year old blonde from Chicago. She has a cleft chin, messy hair, sleepy eyes, smallish tits and a nice firm ass -- and she just oozes sex. She opens up to Brandon during a quick pre-sex interview, admitting that she wants to have her asshole torn apart. Former Anabolic mainstay, John Strong, is trotted out with his usual raging hard-on. Hillary slowly kisses her way down to his cock, putting her gag reflex to good use during a pretty rough oral session. While deep throating Strong, Hillary makes those sexy noises that a girl makes when she’s trying to fit something down her throat that doesn’t belong. After she licks Strong’s man-ass, he flips her over and slams his cock up Scott’s anus in spoon. There’s some ass to mouth before Hillary bops on John’s dick in reverse cowgirl anal. Scott, still wearing high heels, buck rides John, staring directly into the camera and saying, “I love getting my dirty little asshole stretched wide with this cock.” Hot! They run through some more positions, culminating with Hillary riding John off the couch and holding the floor for leverage as he rips into her asshole. When his dick pops out accidentally, it’s Hillary who reaches back to frantically stick it back in. “Call me a dirty slut,” Hillary screams at Strong. This girl is simply a freak. It’s no wonder why Brandon chose to make her the center-piece of the film. Hillary has a fantastic ass, which grows redder and redder as the scene progresses thanks to John’s constant slapping. There is some standing fucking, which moves to couch for some standard missionary anal, with Hillary demanding that John’s dick goes deep into her ass as she wants to feel his balls slapping against her. John and Hillary have a ton of enthusiasm and energy, that culminates with Hillary nearly fisting her ass in anticipation of one last hard pounding and a really good cum-shot which is blasted across her pretty face.


Hillary Scott, Lexxi Ripca and the guys

"I think I’m ready for a dozen cocks," Hillary tells Brandon, after swallowing Strong's load. The clean-up girl, Lexxi Ripca, is brought in to help with the cock-sucking duties and the eventual cum clean-up. Lexxi is a very attractive 20 year old woman, with a really nice smile and a sexy Southern drawl. She has jet black hair, kinda pale, with a couple of piercings in her belly-button and her tongue. She also has a tattoo on her tail bone and she’s wearing black high heels. Hillary is insatiable here, rubbing up on Lexxi as Brandon tries to interview her. You can barely tell that Hillary just spent the last ten minutes getting the shit fucked out her with John Strong. She eagerly helps Lexxi peel out of her clothes, right before the parade of guys join them in the room. Had these two whores been left to their own devices, I suspect they would have probably turned in a hot as fuck lesbian tussle. The Dozen are hard and ready, diving in with abandon on the two ladies. There‘s some rough play, deep throat fucking, gagging and tons of phlegm, which is doled out by the mouthful. Lexxi and one very well-hung black stud have some playful fun, with Lexxi trying to deep throat him (his cock keeps bending at the halfway point), and later, he resting his cock on her head as she sucks cock after cock -- like a boyfriend diligently waiting his turn. With at least four cocks jammed in her face, Hillary comes to a conclusion, which she shares with Brandon, “I’m a dirty whore!” No, really? The boys get into a line-up with both girls moving down the row, sucking each one off independently. Eventually it’s time for Hillary to be glazed and these guys have no problem providing the warm cream. They produce what can only be called a minor tidal wave of cum, with seventeen loads being dropped and several guys getting off doubles. The first shooter drops a load on Lexxi’s face for good measure before turning his attention back to Hillary. The third shooter’s cum-shot is so intense that it actually bounces off Hillary’s face and hits Lexxi, who has slowly backed away. This is some hot shit - with some really huge criss-cross cum shots flying everywhere. By the end of it, poor Hillary is nearly unrecognizable as her gal pal Lexxi stares on in a mixture of playful lust, quiet envy and total disgust. Ripca reluctantly, at first, slurps each and every load off Hillary’s face until it is completely licked clean. The girls giggle and thank Brandon for the opportunity to be apart of something so nasty.


Amanda Warren, Manuel Ferrara and Steve Holmes

The next girl, Amanda Warren, is of German descent, has long messy brownish hair, with a tattoo on her left shoulder and a really gorgeous ass, which she teases Brandon with. Amanda is genuinely sexy, and her thick accent helps to heighten her appeal. She tends to convey her feelings in facial expressions throughout the scene, as she’s constantly giggling, snarling, or just throwing the camera those nervous ‘what the fuck?’ kinda glances. Manuel Ferrara and Steve Holmes are brought in, and they are all business. Holmes starts off the festivities by stuffing his tongue up Warren’s asshole. “Your friend is a pervert,” Amanda tells Brandon. They move onto the couch, with Holmes having her sit on his dick cowgirl. While getting pummelled, Amanda, in black knee high leather boots, manages to deep throat Manuel’s huge cock all the way down to balls. After gagging up a bit, a very proud Warren presses Manuel’s monster cock up to the camera. “See that? Wanna see it again?” This is animal sex at its best, with the two guys dp’ing Warren hard, “Do you see what these guys are doing to me,” she screeches. Amanda frigs her click as the guys get savage on her holes. There’s some ass to mouth action on Holmes' cock before moving back into dp. “Your fucking dicks are too big,” Amanda screams upon re-insertion. “My poor asshole.” They run through a few more positions which include Amanda, who is glistening with sweat, getting off a really good anal gape, and later, getting off period, thanks to Holmes' big cock, which is firmly lodged up her ass. The scene culminates in a flying dp, and the two boys drenching her face in loads.


Amanda Warren, Brian Surewood, Dick Nasty and the guys

Soon it’s time for Amanda to get her face glazed. There’s no clean-up girl for her though sadly. The boys stumble into the room, dicks hardened and ready for some bj action. Among the Dozen I recognized Dick Nasty and Brian Surewood. Amanda is flanked by meat, as she attempts to keep up with them. She is, at times, quite forceful, actually pushing guys out of the way and pulling other guys to her. “C’mon, give me your cocks!” Amanda screams. There’s some really great POV stuff that leads into the eventual glazing period. In a veritable succession of cum-shots, Amanda’s face plays host to eighteen seperate loads -- with some of the guys going back for second and third helpings. At one point, three studs, who are positioned on each side of her face, all release at the same time, with criss cross loads splashing off each other accidentally. After all the balls in the room have been sufficiently drained, Amanda pushes all of the goop into her mouth, swallowing with glee, and laughing at the camera..


Hillary Scott and the guys

The hottest scene of the movie lasts only a few seconds and involves, simply, Hillary Scott sitting on the floor in an office, talking into the camera, as five guys blast away at her face. She seems completely oblivious to all the cum flying at her, casually chatting away without a care in the world. She doesn’t even squint, as huge cum ropes impact on her nose and eyes. She eventually eats the cum, leading us into the next encounter. This scene, which is only a few seconds long, comes completely out of left field, and is easily the hottest thing in the movie.


Lucy Thai, John Strong and Michael Stefano

Asian hottie, Lucy Thai, is up next wearing a black bra and black panties. She has long jet black hair, a tattoo on her right shoulder and a butterfly above her pubes. She dirty talks the camera, before Michael Stefano and John Strong saunter in, dicks hard and ready for action. Lucy, in silver high heels, manages to jam both those monsters in her mouth at the same time, before Stefano slides in to spoon fuck her pussy. John Strong replaces Stefano, with Lucy reaching back and helping him insert his dick in her ass. The boys roll her up for some solid double penetration. “Yeah, you got two cocks in you,” Stefano tells Lucy. “So good,” Lucy tells him. She pops off their dicks, stuffing them both in her mouth at the same time. They move back into dp with Lucy urging them to, “Pound it! Pound those holes!” The boys trade off fucking her ass and mouth, with plenty of ass-to-mouth bj action. They do a super-sexy flying dp that really puts the boys over. “This is beautiful,” Stefano growls between pumps. “Yeah, I really like this,” Lucy giggles. For her effort, the boys paint both sides of her face with their white cream.


Lucy Thai, Candi Sweet, Brian Surewood, Dick Nasty and the guys

Lucy Thai is ready for more cum, but she needs her clean-up girl. Candi Sweet, a really cute redhead with smallish tits, and a thin pale frame and a nervous disposition. She is a dead-ringer for singer Avril Lavigne, which adds an extra bit of spice to the proceedings. Despite the large tattoo on her tailbone, Candi could easily pass for a sixteen year old girl as she looks exceptionally young. She clamly licks the cum off of Lucy‘s face before the guys enter the room. Once again, Surewood and Nasty are amongst the dirty dozen, joining the crowd of guys circling the two ladies. They eagerly stuff their cocks into the girl’s faces, who gobble them up with reckless abandon. Candi, despite her nervous hesitation, takes a special liking to the grandfatherly Dick Nasty, stopping mid-suck to tell Brandon, “I love this cock!” The boys continue to feed the girls meat, ending with the obligatory glazing. The first two studs literally drench Lucy’s face in cum. “More,” Lucy giggles. Dick Nasty and Candi Sweet make some time in the background, as Lucy uses her face as a target for twelve healthy loads. In one instance, two guys spurt across Lucy’s forehead, and accidentally tag each other’s cocks with their loads. After all the loads have been dropped, Candi moves in to slurp the cum off of Lucy’s face. The sight of it Candi slurping cum off Lucy‘s face, sends another dude up for a last minute spurt. Apparently, this clean up thing is too much for cutie Candi, as she nearly tosses her cookies while slurping. It’s only by sheer will that Candi is able to keep it down. The two girls snuggle to end the scene.


Hillary Scott, Monique La Rue and the guys

The last scene features Hillary Scott introducing Monique La Rue, a tough looking babe with smallish tits and long brown hair. She’s totally naked when Brandon asks her how long she’s been in the business. “Two minutes,” she replies. The boys circle them, with Monique looking excited, grabbing at a couple of hard cocks and slamming them into her mouth. Hillary also holds her own, deep-gagging on every cock in sight. She starts to tear up from all the rough play and soon she has black eye liner running in rivers down her face. “Fuck yeah, I love having all of these cocks in my face,” Hillary says, from beneath a pit of cock meat. When the boys start blasting, they don’t stop until her entire face in covered in eleven cum blasts. Monique is eager to move in slurping up every creamy drop, and even getting down to lick up the cum globs on the carpet. Extremely kinky to say the least! Hillary looks like a haggard mess, but it doesn’t stop the two whores from having a really hot end of scene make-out session. Hillary bids one final goodbye.

Following the movie, there's a clip from Baker’s Dozen 5, involving some psycho chick named Alektra keeping her eyes open as a dozen guys spray down her face. I can’t wait to see that shit!



The extras include some behind-the-scenes stuff featuring Hillary tired and hot from all the cum and there’s even a bit of pink eye cleaning. A tease section featuring Hillary Scott, Lucy Thai, and Amanda Warren stripping and teasing for about fifteen minutes. There’s a Random Acts of Oral Kindness section featuring POV blowjobs from Amanda Warren and Monique La Rue. This is hot! A cum-shot recap of some of the monster facials. Lots of great pics in the Photo Gallery, a biography on Brandon Iron, and some PXP trailers.




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#95589 - 04/13/05 02:02 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott, John Strong



Attachments
89801-bdozen41.jpg (8 downloads)


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#95590 - 04/13/05 02:03 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott and John Strong




Attachments
89802-bdozen42.jpg (7 downloads)


Top
#95591 - 04/13/05 02:04 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott and Lexxi Ripca




Attachments
89803-bdozen44.jpg (7 downloads)


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#95592 - 04/13/05 02:05 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott, Lexxi Ripca and the guys




Attachments
89804-bdozen46.jpg (7 downloads)


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#95593 - 04/13/05 02:06 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott, Lexxi Ripca and the guys






Attachments
89805-bdozen47.jpg (11 downloads)


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#95594 - 04/13/05 02:07 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott, Lexxi Ripca and the guys



Attachments
89806-bdozen48.jpg (11 downloads)


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#95595 - 04/13/05 02:08 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott, Lexxi Ripca and the guys



Attachments
89807-bdozen49.jpg (12 downloads)


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#95596 - 04/13/05 02:09 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott, Lexxi Ripca and the guys






Attachments
89808-bdozen410.jpg (11 downloads)


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#95597 - 04/13/05 02:10 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Amanda Warren, Manuel Ferrara and Steve Holmes




Attachments
89809-bdozen411.jpg (7 downloads)


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#95598 - 04/13/05 02:11 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Amanda Warren, Manuel Ferrara and Steve Holmes




Attachments
89810-bdozen412.jpg (5 downloads)


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#95599 - 04/13/05 02:13 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Amanda Warren, Manuel Ferrara and Steve Holmes



Attachments
89811-bdozen414.jpg (7 downloads)


Top
#95600 - 04/13/05 02:14 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Amanda Warren and the guys



Attachments
89812-bdozen415.jpg (9 downloads)


Top
#95601 - 04/13/05 02:15 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Amanda Warren and the guys





Attachments
89813-bdozen416.jpg (5 downloads)


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#95602 - 04/13/05 02:16 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Amanda Warren -- cum covered whore





Attachments
89814-bdozen417.jpg (7 downloads)


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#95603 - 04/13/05 02:18 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott - a casual conversation





Attachments
89815-bdozen418.jpg (8 downloads)


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#95604 - 04/13/05 02:18 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Lucy Thai, John Strong and Michael Stefano




Attachments
89816-bdozen419.jpg (7 downloads)


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#95605 - 04/13/05 02:19 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Lucy Thai, John Strong and Michael Stefano




Attachments
89817-bdozen420.jpg (7 downloads)


Top
#95606 - 04/13/05 02:20 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Lucy Thai, Candi Sweet and the guys



Attachments
89818-bdozen421.jpg (6 downloads)


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#95607 - 04/13/05 02:21 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Lucy Thai, Candi Sweet and the guys



Attachments
89819-bdozen422.jpg (9 downloads)


Top
#95608 - 04/13/05 02:23 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Lucy Thai, Candi Sweet and the guys



Attachments
89820-bdozen423.jpg (18 downloads)


Top
#95609 - 04/13/05 02:24 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Lucy Thai, Candi Sweet -- the clean up and the near puke!



Attachments
89821-bdozen424.jpg (11 downloads)


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#95610 - 04/13/05 02:25 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott, Monique La Rue and the guys



Attachments
89822-bdozen425.jpg (12 downloads)


Top
#95611 - 04/13/05 02:26 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott, Monique La Rue and the guys




Attachments
89823-bdozen426.jpg (9 downloads)


Top
#95612 - 04/13/05 02:26 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott, Monique La Rue and the guys



Attachments
89824-bdozen427.jpg (9 downloads)


Top
#95613 - 04/13/05 02:27 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott and Monique La Rue -- get every last drop



Attachments
89825-bdozen430.jpg (9 downloads)


Top
#95614 - 04/13/05 02:29 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Hillary Scott and Monique La Rue -- the make out session



Attachments
89826-bdozen431.jpg (11 downloads)


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#95615 - 04/13/05 04:28 PM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Thanks for doing such a thorough review, Jamie. I appreciate it!
Glad you enjoyed the movie.
Take care and let me know if you need anything else from Platinum X.
See you,
Brandon

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#95616 - 04/13/05 04:41 PM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Quote:

Thanks for doing such a thorough review, Jamie. I appreciate it!
Glad you enjoyed the movie.
Take care and let me know if you need anything else from Platinum X.
See you,
Brandon






Hey, if I could I would. Your movies would probably not make it across the border to reach me. I'll let you know if I ever move to the States.

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#95617 - 04/13/05 05:07 PM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
smutspov Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
Quote:

Thanks for doing such a thorough review, Jamie. I appreciate it!
Glad you enjoyed the movie.
Take care and let me know if you need anything else from Platinum X.
See you,
Brandon




Yeah right, Brandon. Since when do you follow through on your promises?
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman

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#95618 - 04/14/05 06:58 PM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
No offense, Smutty, but I don't like your brief reviews. Now THIS was a thorough review.
Can you do one or not? E-mail me at brandoniron_99@yahoo.com

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#95619 - 04/14/05 07:38 PM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
smutspov Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
That's ok, I've got better things to do than count cumshots. Why waste words on boring scenes and long thorough reviews tend to be BORING. Plus, it's easy to say something sucks, so I tend to write about what really interests me. I'll save the play-by-play reviews for the hacks and if that's what you're looking for there's tons of clowns that can do that for you if you're afraid of the truth. Take your pick.
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman

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#95620 - 04/15/05 03:43 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Quote:

That's ok, I've got better things to do than count cumshots. Why waste words on boring scenes and long thorough reviews tend to be BORING. Plus, it's easy to say something sucks, so I tend to write about what really interests me. I'll save the play-by-play reviews for the hacks and if that's what you're looking for there's tons of clowns that can do that for you if you're afraid of the truth. Take your pick.







WTF, you bashing me Smut? I provided a fucking free review and I'm getting bashed for it, getting called a hack, and wasting my time. Holy shit, you're unbelievable.

Thanks, nothing like alienating the few reviewers on here.

Why don't you tell people that this forum is 'SMUTS VIDEO REVIEWS' and anyone who adds a review is a hack!

Xpt is starting to smell a lot like ADT!


You got a problem with Brandon, have a problem with Brandon then, don't start trashing other people's reviews and shit.


PS
Anybody can write a one paragraph review dude. No special talent whatsoever.

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#95621 - 04/15/05 04:21 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
I'm scared to write more now.

I had Texas Asshole Massacre and Hooligans lined up to post, now I'm freaked out about how bad I'm gonna get bashed.

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#95622 - 04/15/05 08:00 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
smutspov Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
Chill out, hoser. Your review was a-ok and more people should post them, so stand up for your convictions and don't be "scared" to post the others. Btw, isn't about the size of the review it's about substance and nobody can write a 1 paragraph review w/ the style of Smutmutant, so anybody who has a problem w/ it can fuck off. There's no need to write a term paper on most of this stuff anyway.
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman

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#95623 - 04/15/05 08:22 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Quote:

Chill out, hoser. Your review was a-ok and more people should post them, so stand up for your convictions and don't be "scared" to post the others. Btw, isn't about the size of the review it's about substance and nobody can write a 1 paragraph review w/ the style of Smutmutant, so anybody who has a problem w/ it can fuck off. There's no need to write a term paper on most of this stuff anyway.




Still tense about the Andrea Dworking thing?

You definitely had my review in your scope when you launched into your attack on Brandon. My review had nothing to do with him sending you, or not sending you, a screener -- but you chose to bash it, nonetheless.

There is no hand book for reviewing porn as far as I know, that's why it seems so absurd that you would call me (in a round-about way) a hack.

If I am a hack, then please consider the fact that I'm not getting paid for any of my reviews, and I've never accepted a screener for an adult movie (just ask Brandon or the guys at New Machine), so I'm allowed to be a big ole hack.


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#95624 - 04/15/05 08:29 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
smutspov Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
Why are you so insecure? I had your review in my scopes because Brandon choose to praise it w/ a backhanded dig at me. I don't get paid for the reviews on XXXPT dipshit, just for the ones in the magazines. Btw, don't you have a book to write on Texas Asshole Massacre and Hooligans? Go for it.
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman

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#95625 - 04/15/05 08:32 AM Re: Baker's Dozen 4, a review
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Quote:

Why are you so insecure? I had your review in my scopes because Brandon choose to praise it w/ a backhanded dig at me. I don't paid for the reviews on XXXPT dipshit, just for the ones in the magazines. Btw, don't you have a book to write on Texas Asshole Massacre and Hooligans? Go for it.





What's the point.

I'll just let you do the schilling around here.

Top
#95626 - 04/15/05 08:35 AM Re:Fucking Brandon brings out the worst in people
Jeff Steward Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/14/03
Posts: 7408
Loc: JM Productions
Fucking Brandon brings out the worst in people.
Settle down people and post your reviews.Dont be scared to hurt someone's feelings,be honest,this aint ADT.
_________________________
all women should be victims of something, because they lied. - big moose

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#95627 - 04/15/05 08:45 AM Re:Fucking Brandon brings out the worst in people
smutspov Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
ahh, the voice of reason.
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman

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#95628 - 04/15/05 08:51 AM Re:Fucking Brandon brings out the worst in people
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Quote:

ahh, the voice of reason.




Yes, Jeff's like the dad barreling into the room to tell the kids to settle down.

Starting to feel like Tyson around here lately. I'm punch drunk from scrapping with everybody, even a few XXXpters that I genuinely like Bornyo, Tanta, SmutMutant.

Jesus, these damn steroids are getting the better of me I think. Roid rage sucks!



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#95629 - 04/15/05 09:33 AM Re:Fucking Brandon brings out the worst in people
smutspov Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
Yeah, it's almost like TT Boy vs. Jose Canseco around here.... I just want to say to Jeff; "Gee Dad, it's all Brandon's fault for flaking out on the screeners he promised." No worries, maybe I'll scoop one up at the offices and thoroughly take it apart limb by limb, but then again why bother?
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman

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#95630 - 04/15/05 01:22 PM Re:Fucking Brandon brings out the worst in people
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Personal attacks aside, I love honest reviews...good or bad. Say whatever you want about me, but I like the movies I make and a lot of other people do, too. It's an honor to be a member of this fine board and have the opportunity to educate guys like Smutmutant. It's like porno potty training for the son I never had.
What's your mailing address, Smut?

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#95631 - 04/15/05 01:45 PM Re:Fucking Brandon brings out the worst in people
smutspov Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
I don't know if I need to be "educated" on how shitty porn is made, but if you're serious this time about sending me your flicks I'll be sure to give them the "thorough" Smutmutant treatment. Yeah, it may be shocking that they actually pay me for 400+ words of magazine copy, but then again people actually pay money for your porno, right Brandon? Your move.
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman

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#95632 - 04/15/05 02:16 PM Re:Fucking Brandon brings out the worst in people
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
You wily fuck! You're on! Let's start off with BAKER'S DOZEN #4. PM me your mailing address.

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#95633 - 04/15/05 02:58 PM Re:Fucking Brandon brings out the worst in people
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
I like all the reviews that are on this board, even the ones I don't agree with. Jamie I hope you keep posting those reviews because they rock dude

As long as the reviews tell you who is in the flick and what went on in it ( ie- a general overview) they are good to me as a consumer. Also I like to hear about the quality of the dvd itself and what extras are on it.

Personally, I may catch some slack for saying it but I like Brandon's dvds, or at leat the ones I have seen so far. Plus he knows how to give you good bang for your buck. So kudos to Brandon.
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me. Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"

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#95634 - 04/15/05 03:55 PM Re:Fucking Brandon brings out the worst in people
smutspov Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
Sounds like Cleetus could use some screeners there Brandon, but if you're ready for the SMUTMUTANT EVIL EYE to cylon scan your porn I'll e-mail coordinates.
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman

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#95635 - 04/15/05 04:17 PM Re:Fucking Brandon brings out the worst in people
jamesn Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
thanks for taking the time to write that up. i'm not much of a pornophile and it's not my kinda movie but eventually i'm sure you'll write something up that is and will be greatly useful and appreciated. keep it up with the screenshots, they're good to have around and recycle in other threads when the timing's right.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"

Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits

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#95636 - 04/17/05 02:59 PM Re:Fucking Brandon brings out the worst in people
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Much like Fox news, this board is heading towards the "fair and balanced" kind of reviewing/reporting that is so desperately needed in this product-saturated marketplace.

I am always interested in getting honest feedback from a reviewer. People can always get in touch with me directly at brandoniron_99@yahoo.com.

Ain't democracy great?? Power to the (porn) people!

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#95637 - 04/17/05 03:29 PM Re:Fucking Brandon brings out the worst in people
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
What happened Brandon I sent 5 messages to that address with my constructive criticism- to use more Aurora Snow in your scenes and I have yet to recieve a response- now that would give your product that added punch
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me. Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"

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