25 Question Sex Test for Rednecks



1. A menstrual cycle has three wheels. True or False
2. Asphalt describes rectal problems. True or False
3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird. True or False
4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack. True or False
5. The clitoris is a type of flower. True or False
6. A G-string is part of a fiddle. True or False
7. Semen is a term for sailors. True or False
8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly. True or False
9. Testicles are found on an Octopus. True or False
10. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit. True or False
11. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati. True or False
12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish. True or False
13. Coitus is a musical instrument. True or False
14. Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke. True or False
15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute. True or False
16. A condom is a large apartment complex. True or False
17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir. True or False
18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry. True or False
19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle. True or False
20. An erection is when Japanese people vote. True or False
21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East. True or False
22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass. True or False
23. Pornography is the business of making records. True or False
24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin. True or False
25. Douche is the French word for "twelve." True or False

25 ways to tell if you're truly a Red Neck



1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth

than your spouse.



2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the

dinner table in front of her kids.



3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.



4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.



5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."



6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.



7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all

watch this."



8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.



9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.



10. Your junior prom had a daycare.



11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."



12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.



13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.



14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.



15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.



16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.



17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.



18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.



19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.



20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.



21. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.



22. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.



23. Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.



24. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.



25. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty

Q: You know how you know the toothbrush was invented by a redneck?

A: Because if anybody else had invented it would have been called a teethbrush.

Q: What's the most common phrase among southern girls who just lost their virginity?

A: "Get of me Paw, your crushing ma' smokes."