The odds of my being murdered by a deranged client are actually not that bad. Ask Goat Lawyer how many assassins he's dodged. It's like Cape Fear, first they molest your children and shove their fingers in their mouth (MOST DISTURBING SCENE EVER, I hate Julianne Moore, fucking Scientologists). Then they try to boil you in the jacuzzi. A guy I know got his start defending Aryan Brotherhood and Volksfront members out in whatsitcalled, Pelican Bay? They still have their preteen groupie chicks on the outside writing gleeful letters about how they're going to decapitate him. It's okay, though, because he's a prick.

That whole feeding tube thing creeps me out. Do they have a little ceremony when they remove it, with noise makers and those little horns people blow on New Years Eve? You've got to have a hell of a lot of trust in someone, I mean my father's a manic depressive and my mother is a sadist who would probably enjoy bending the tube and watching me turn different shades from red to blue while she giggles. This is just making me angry all over again, I hate you all.