Since this room has fallen to "can ewe offer me work", then I lay myself on the table.
Male porn columnist for hire. Will not write for anything less than $300 per week.
PP.

So my offer for $295.00 is out of the question?

Yes. And quite frankly it's an insult.
LB.

Take me as I am, dude. Ewe know wot eye am like.
LB.

I run a street cafe, with hot tea and coffee at 20cents.
That is all I am saying.
LB.

someone hire me too. i want a salary of $8,000 and a one year contract. i will only write once a month and about half a page long.

@HornyToad...that seems very, very fair to me. Luke Ford or AVN should sign you up forthwith. Even the with before the forth!
LB.
PS. I have been offered a slot on the new Dick My Dyke show, (a chance for lesbians to experience cock for the first time) but it's only 30 cents per week, so I am declining.
LB again.

I want someone to hire me. Salary of $35,000 a year. i don't actually have to produce or do anything but am free to work on whatever projects I see fit and go to industry parties.

I've got a much better idea. Pay me NOT to write the column. That's fair. But I am sorry to say, that will be an extra $100 per week.
LB.