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#91074 - 03/22/05 08:41 AM
Future of the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Im not sure what the future of the cage is and want to hear the thoughts of its readers and posters. In order for me to get my swerve on i have to stop posting here otherwise the future mrs monkey will name our first child helen (boy or girl) after helen hunt in spite of me. To be honest i actually think a monkey free cage is better, it just needed more posts. So im open to suggestions as to what would make the cage better, because i didn't like the path it was before i entered rehab for addiction to baking soda, it needs more imput from others, it can't be a cage of rage featuring monkey, kyoto and mark j magarfield. it needs to be more rounded, maybe we could have cage parties, hire motel rooms and hang out with each other and stuff, get a sponsor like nike, and make our team visible in the community, showing the public that the cage cares. Look at what i learned while i was away o=8 get it. LOL this is named sportsswami and its what ill do if the woman finds out and names my kid helen 
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#91076 - 03/22/05 11:23 AM
Re: Future of the Cage
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Demon Spawn
Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 3178
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I'm pretty sure Cleetus is the devil, he is alluring like a cheaply made scented candle. Only later do you realize he is the cause of your house burning down. I personally think we need sam's other half swami to brighten up the cage.
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#91078 - 03/22/05 11:56 AM
Re: Future of the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i go away for like, four days in march, and when i get back it's fucking christmas in the cage with kyoto, garfield, sammura, tanta's, chicken, and the great one himself under the tree?
i'd been quietly steeling myself for the cage's expiry, taking baby steps back into life before the cage like a spinal-injury vicitim or sammura after kyoto finds her. i blew the dust off the phone, started going through my phone book and sheepishly reaching out to those who knew me in my former life to hear "who's this? james? aren't you in some cult? andrew said he heard you were in brazil getting calf implants and died in a filthy bodega-cum-operating room. well, fuck you, i didn't even hear from you when my parents were brutally, randomly murdered by a half-japanese-jew-still-at-large"
or
"sorry, the nextel number you are trying to call has been...."
so, scratch a return to sunlight, the outdoors, humanity and whatever. the enigmatic, tweaked out posts from bur are my future if the cage returns to glory, and i'm strangely at peace with that thought. so yeah, keep the cage going, otherwise, i'll go work for the bad guys killing kids with landmines under the guise of private-equity.
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"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#91079 - 03/22/05 12:27 PM
Re: Future of the Cage
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 1342
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I think the cage needs some sort of leadership. I realize time is a factor and not everybody can contribute consistently -- certainly not to the point that monkey was capable of and definitely not to his degree of comic ingenuity.
James would be the only one I could see taking the reins, but he has already stated that it would be too difficult to continuously come up with solid material, and rightfully so. What's the old adage: "It's easier to make someone cry then to make them laugh"? I think it's something like that.
Anyway, except for my suggestion of appointing someone else to at least partially fill the monkey void, I have no other recommendations at this time.
_________________________
"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin
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#91081 - 03/22/05 03:01 PM
Re: Future of the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
it needs to be more rounded, maybe we could have cage parties, hire motel rooms and hang out with each other and stuff, get a sponsor like nike, and make our team visible in the community, showing the public that the cage cares.
Well, I'll spring for the Hotel rooms if someone bakes some rice krispy treats, brings some good pot, and arranges for a shooting crew to begin filming a flimsily disguised rip off of Midnight Prowl titled "Monkey's Urban Jungle Whore Safari".
We could rent a Roto-rooter van (driven by Kyoto -- anything/anyone he hits can be included in the DVD as "Bonus Footage/carnage"), troll the streets looking for Fat Chicks (like Mary Carey), lure them back to the hotel with the promise of money and donuts/pizza and then collectively piss on them as they eat in the bath tub. Any reluctant whores Kyoto can shoot with a dart gun.
As a marketing ploy/"goodwill" gesture to the porn community at large, we can profess to donate 13% of the proceeds to Bono One's "Save Ariana Jolle From Herself Fund".
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#91082 - 03/22/05 03:07 PM
Re: Future of the Cage
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Whoremaster
Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 2723
Loc: A very dark inner place, join ...
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Quote:
Quote:
it needs to be more rounded, maybe we could have cage parties, hire motel rooms and hang out with each other and stuff, get a sponsor like nike, and make our team visible in the community, showing the public that the cage cares.
Well, I'll spring for the Hotel rooms if someone bakes some rice krispy treats, brings some good pot, and arranges for a shooting crew to begin filming a flimsily disguised rip off of Midnight Prowl titled "Monkey's Urban Jungle Whore Safari".
We could rent a Roto-rooter van (driven by Kyoto -- anything/anyone he hits can be included in the DVD as "Bonus Footage/carnage"), troll the streets looking for Fat Chicks (like Mary Carey), lure them back to the hotel with the promise of money and donuts/pizza and then collectively piss on them as they eat in the bath tub. Any reluctant whores Kyoto can shoot with a dart gun.
As a marketing ploy/"goodwill" gesture to the porn community at large, we can profess to donate 13% of the proceeds to Bono One's "Save Ariana Jolle From Herself Fund".
Count me in, but I want to drive the van. Creating paraplegic whores could be the bonus footage.
Edited by tantas' Daddy (03/22/05 03:08 PM)
_________________________
'' Women are not people, they are devices built by our Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment.'' Peter Griffin
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#91083 - 03/22/05 03:20 PM
Re: Future of the Cage
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 1342
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Let me add Da Burglar to the "fill the monkey void" lottery. I forgot about him since he was M.I.A for a bit. He always, at the very least, brings a malevolent smile to my face.
_________________________
"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin
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#91084 - 03/22/05 04:31 PM
Re: Future of the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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from the looks of the recent posts by others and my sewage included the cage is doomed w/ o the monkey. face it nobody makes any sense running the cage. the cage is your legacy monkey or maybe it's your curse. you owe it to this mob of hecklers to stick around continue what you started. it's funny shit. fayner prolly threw a hooray party in wankus' lap when you left and as long as he feeds like a flea on porn the monkey most exist to pester, inflict and dis the loser.
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"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#91085 - 03/22/05 07:20 PM
Re: Future of the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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Two things: 1) I would like to state that I am not the devil nor am i in any way connected to the aforementioned.  2) The Cage should always be only the Monkeys domain but there is no reason we should all not post in it more often.
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#91086 - 03/23/05 07:01 AM
Re: Future of the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Its not so much that i need help running it, i just want the cage to not seem like all im doing is talking to myself, i can do that anywhere and maybe i do, maybe i am right now?. I just want those who enjoy reading here to contribute posts of their own every now and then, theres a lot of people in porn that give you a reaction one way or another, or a certain thing or feature in porn that you like or dislike, a porn star you know who inhales eye drop fumes or something, a porn star escort you hired a adt party you went to, a moment where you saw mary carey passed out at a party where you slapped her in the head and stole her cell phone, the list goes on, we all have those moments, feel free to share them so we can judge you and mock you like they do me no if you don't ind i will spend the next 30 minutes arguing with myself on why i hate the name helen.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#91089 - 03/26/05 06:45 AM
Re: Future of the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Cobalt should be groomed by Monkey.....rename the cage "The Periodic Table of the Elements of Porn." Fuck, that dude's hillarious.....
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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