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Max Online: 788 @ 09/28/24 10:05 AM
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#86005 - 02/14/05 08:01 AM
Monkey's random shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Gotta get it out somehow, why not here and why not now?. Lets go
* ive got a cold and sound like al pacino, and i promised myself that if i ever sounded like al pacino that i would over use the phrase ' cause she's got a great ass, and you've got your head allllllllll the way up it'. So i have and the sad thing is this is true, and i actually made a promise to myself that if i ever sounded like him i would after seeing heat, very sad, not as sad as taking pictures of my penis in grandpa underpants in a dim lit room, i guess i can take comfort in that.
* If jamie foxx wins the oscar for ray do you think that the repackaged dvd of booty call will put it on the front, starting tommy davidson, vivica a fox and oscar winner jamie foxx?.
* Why isn't jeff trying to sign ashton moore , then convincing her to break a 2 year dick ban to fuck monkey on film. I think if i was given the option to fuck ashton and natasha dolling but it ended my engagement i would do it. Why am i getting married, i don't want to get married, i either have to find a way to die or find a way to break it off,
* Who takes over lukeford when fayner dies?. I kinda want to know
* pariah has made my top 5 list of people i want to blow , with garfield, ben english, swami and that jenna fan boy that had all the stars i complained about, fire something.
* How can anyone fuck james brown?, i mean i knows its james brown but jesus christ, how
* Why do people do stupid things with their penises, i mean we all know we only have one and its sensitive, what inspires people to put it in danger, why why and why.
* cause shes got a great ass, and you've got your head alllll the way up it
* butter face, lol omg butter face. Why would anyone sign up to do that? , for real. I mean even meatholes girls would turn that down. Butter face, LOL
* Cage has been garfield free for about 2 weeks, and i really don't miss him, i miss bishop and chico "woman beater" T more so, and kyoto, but garfield and willem dafoe girlfriend can go fuck themselves.
* im pretty sure smartt has aids, in his picture you can see it, the marks, etc. im almost certain that smartt has aids, there is a god.
* ive seen stills of 2 of kami's scenes and the look on her face on both has me crying with laughter, it just looks unlike any other expression by any porn star ever, its really funny and a little scary at the same time.
* what ever happend to nelly furtado?
* black people still suck
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#86006 - 02/14/05 08:17 AM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/16/03
Posts: 339
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Monkey....I don't here SNL calling anytime soon for this to become a regular skit....
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Got under the monkey's skin like no poster ever has...I WIN!!!
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#86008 - 02/14/05 12:18 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/16/03
Posts: 339
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Nah....here is a really CREATIVE column that SHOULD make you laugh: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=five_shitty_moviesNotice the "creative" genius compared to the Monkey Cage...
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Got under the monkey's skin like no poster ever has...I WIN!!!
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#86009 - 02/14/05 02:21 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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that's so 2004 but funny. the monkey's still got street credibility by virtue of keeping it totally underground and edgy- you think that guy would be funny if he had to come up with new material every day? chevy chase couldn't be funny on a daily basis, not many can be. i think arab and monkey could put up a page that's just as funny and likely superior since their laughs come at the expense of others.
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"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#86012 - 02/14/05 05:25 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Well, maybe a once a week post is better. I take quality over quantity. And, that pages laughs DO come at the expense of others. I do disagree though...I don't call the monkey cage "edgy and underground". I consider it about 10-15 5th graders with uncensored liscense and added porn knowledge.
The problem I have with the cage is that I look for laughs (even at my own expense) and I come up empty 98% of the time.
Well im glad that my main goal isn't to set out to impress you, a man who enjoys nude pictures of himself and photo shopped pictures of mel gibson with boobs, you are truly a great critic of comedy. But you want variety how about this. I set up a challenge among the main cage posters, a series of events, and the winner gets to use my id for 5 minutes to ban one user that they want gone, heres the twist, i will fix the event to make james a lock to win it. Its new and fresh and bound to make 98% of the readers happy and the 2% it won't makes me happy (jrv and bjfan)
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#86014 - 02/14/05 05:31 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/16/03
Posts: 339
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Monkey....don't piss on me cause your not creative. It takes a really "special" human to make people laugh with almost every post. Just because you fail miserably doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means your not "special" or "gifted".
It's ok though....we can find it elsewhere as I have pointed out.
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Got under the monkey's skin like no poster ever has...I WIN!!!
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#86016 - 02/14/05 05:42 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/16/03
Posts: 339
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Again....it's ok that that's the "most" creative you can become.
And, as far as "touching a nerve"...I"m gone from this board in 58 days no matter what....so it serves me no purpose to defend myself.
I'm waiting for you to post another penis pic of me, since that is how your creative you are.
Come on monkey....let's here another post about how, since you have a cold, you sound like Al Pacino. I know that made me fall off my chair with laughter when I heard that humorous line...
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Got under the monkey's skin like no poster ever has...I WIN!!!
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#86019 - 02/14/05 06:04 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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bjfan-would you ever consider doing a scene with garfield and his girlfriend? i know the steroids make her a little better hung than you but if you hang in there like a good little power-bottom i'll spring for an hour with brazzle. it's the least i can do, and she has aids. what's with the 58 days?
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"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#86022 - 02/14/05 06:49 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
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Quote:
Again....it's ok that that's the "most" creative you can become.
And, as far as "touching a nerve"...I"m gone from this board in 58 days no matter what....so it serves me no purpose to defend myself.
I'm waiting for you to post another penis pic of me, since that is how your creative you are.
Come on monkey....let's here another post about how, since you have a cold, you sound like Al Pacino. I know that made me fall off my chair with laughter when I heard that humorous line...
I'm telling ya, this goof is AMW material. He'll bludgeon some tranny somewhere for making fun of his willy. He's too stupid to commit a white-collar crime. 58 days? Are going back to the slammer to get slammed or the mental hospital?
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I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.
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#86023 - 02/14/05 06:56 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/16/03
Posts: 339
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Biff....a follower, yet never a leader.
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Got under the monkey's skin like no poster ever has...I WIN!!!
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#86024 - 02/14/05 07:23 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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Dude, I don't dislike you as I don't really dislike anyone but you have to use a little common sense. You enjoy the cage but can't take the heat and worse yet you post dickpics of yourself which opens yourself up to a whole other world of ribbin- If you don't find Monkey funny I really don't see why you even bother with the cage at all- unless you like the attention. If you just post elsewhere on the site I bet you wouldn't hear it much but you return to the cage over and over. If you like the attention cool- just roll with the punches but to call the Monkey unfunny is just illogical.
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#86025 - 02/14/05 07:56 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/16/03
Posts: 339
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Quote:
You enjoy the cage but can't take the heat and worse yet you post dickpics of yourself which opens yourself up to a whole other world of ribbin-
Actually, I never stated I enjoy the cage and I never indicated I "can't take the heat". Like you, I don't dislike anyone in this forum, as I don't know anyone in here personally aside from their posts. What I do have a problem with is monkey starting threads like this that have ZERO comical or satirical value (again, remember, the cage was created for SATIRE)....and expect us to laugh and/or give a shit about what he thinks on certain subjects just cause he's the moderator of the forum.
I know that monkey is seeking humor with this particular thread, but, obviouslly, it falls way short. Monkey reminds me of the guy in the office who throws out jokes every 30 seconds, and only about 1 in 100 is actually funny and/or slightly amusing. The only time monkey gets a comical hit is when it's a thread started by someone else.
As far as the dick pics, I don't mind them being discussed (since I was the one who posted them way back when for comedic purposes...and I didn't give a shit then about them, just as I do now since I posted them). But to repost them (or any joke) over and over and over and over and over again to try to make it remain funny, is kind of telling about someone's lack of creativity.
Takes Jamesn for example, say what you want about the man, but he's creative with his posts. He would never start a 500 word thread about something that nobody gives a shit about. Hell, if I posted a thread like the one that started this one I would be banned from XXXPT for life.
But, in the end...who cares..in 58 days I'm gone....it's just a shame I gotta spend 58 more days searching for PT humor and come up short...
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Got under the monkey's skin like no poster ever has...I WIN!!!
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#86026 - 02/14/05 08:04 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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First I find Monkey's stuff very funny as I do most posters in the cage and if something isn't funny I just skip to the next article and see if that is funny. Other posters seem to share my views on the Monkey. But the reason I posted that last post was really curiosity- and it has not been satisfied by your last answer dude. Why bother reading and answering Monkey's posts or the cage at all if it gets under your skin.
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"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#86027 - 02/14/05 08:06 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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I post to amuse myself, seriously. I don't know what is or isn't funny, what is or isn't okay to post. I post to amuse myself, if anyone else is amused then its by accident. I don't post with the intention of making others laugh, i do it to make me laugh. Now i never find something like fake boobs on mel gibson pictures funny, its just not me, and you don't find stuff like this funny thats you. You are more then welcome to make a post that you find funny here, you are given a blank canvas bjfan, paint it with what you want.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#86030 - 02/14/05 08:31 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
My main goal in viewing XXXPT was not, nor has ever been the monkey cage...but I drop in here several times a day now since I was lured in hopes of finding interesting gossip (obviously, not satire).
Don't worry Cleetus, the day an Internet forum gets under my skin is the day I put a gun to my head and pull the trigger...and no, I have no gun in my hand currently.
anyway, like this thread's origins, who cares what I think anyway?? onward with the forum....
if nothing interests you here and obviously it doesn't, feel free to try and create some yourself. Hopefully i can expect witty remarks like, 'no im a vivid contract star' and 'why don't you post more pictures of my dick', or perhaps the odd mel gibson with tits picture. You have a blank canvas to post what you want, why not start a thread for a change since you are judgmental of biff and his inability to lead as you put it. Its obvious the cage needs you bjfan, i fail on so many levels, help me help the cage, help meeeee help the cageeeeeeee, we need you bjfan. XXXPT needs you, lukeisback needs you and the therapist of poor bastard who developed the bjfan solo penis picture shrine of despair needs you, don't let us all down.
Edited by smelly monkey (02/14/05 08:32 PM)
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#86031 - 02/14/05 08:45 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/16/03
Posts: 339
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Bro...I never said that I was the one who would be the Nazarene of this forum. All I said was this forum lacked creativity. (oh, and those ARE Mel Gibson's tits...if you have seen the movie, you'll notice that). But, I think we can all agree, that you, THE CEO OF THE MONKEY CAGE, could do a little better than the following: * ive got a cold and sound like al pacino, and i promised myself that if i ever sounded like al pacino that i would over use the phrase ' cause she's got a great ass, and you've got your head allllllllll the way up it'. So i have * How can anyone fuck james brown?, i mean i knows its james brown but jesus christ, how *butter face, lol omg butter face. Why would anyone sign up to do that? , for real. I mean even meatholes girls would turn that down. Butter face, LOL I think I have gotten under someone's skin.  Chillout dude...your forum will be bjfan free in 58 days...
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Got under the monkey's skin like no poster ever has...I WIN!!!
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#86032 - 02/14/05 08:50 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Bro...I never said that I was the one who would be the Nazarene of this forum. All I said was this forum lacked creativity. (oh, and those ARE Mel Gibson's tits...if you have seen the movie, you'll notice that).
But, I think we can all agree, that you, THE CEO OF THE MONKEY CAGE, could do a little better than the following:
* ive got a cold and sound like al pacino, and i promised myself that if i ever sounded like al pacino that i would over use the phrase ' cause she's got a great ass, and you've got your head allllllllll the way up it'. So i have
* How can anyone fuck james brown?, i mean i knows its james brown but jesus christ, how
*butter face, lol omg butter face. Why would anyone sign up to do that? , for real. I mean even meatholes girls would turn that down. Butter face, LOL
I think I have gotten under someone's skin.
Chillout dude...your forum will be bjfan free in 58 days...
No not under my skin, ive seen the light. To be honest i conceded this a week or so ago in a thread, but having you tell me just enforces it more so. The cage has swallowed me whole and is ready to spit me out, i refuse to be the fayner to the cage's lukeford.com, taking it down with me. It needs a fresh face, a new voice and i can't think of anyone better then bjfan, i figure 58 days of bjfan running the show is better then the rest of time with monkey. So i will step aside, its time for a new era, all things must come to an end, garfield ended, lurid ended, sammura ended, now its time for monkey to end and bjfan to begin, go ahead, do your thing.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#86033 - 02/14/05 08:54 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 1024
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Quote:
You are hailed amongst all men- right this minute on Marcus' forum they speak of the monkey in hushed tones. 
Do you recall the hissy fit some of the MM Forum members threw last month concerning statements made about MLK holiday in this forum? I'm pondering whether to ask the moderator if Affirmative Action applies to Whitey in the MM board. I want to know the friggin quota
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#86034 - 02/14/05 09:05 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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No man. I missed that one I can't take that place for very long- like someone in another thread said- they post a lot of pics but I feel that most of what is said is BS- Ir dodging without the humor of BGOL. I understand that the MM forum is meant for Ir discussions and they are free to discuss it at legnth but it both bores and annoys me so i will continue to look go to look at the pics and see what they say about us here because i loves me some good gossip. I especially like their comment about Monkey who seems to be some sort of idol to be in awe of and yet shunned.
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#86035 - 02/14/05 09:42 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 11/12/04
Posts: 90
Loc: tora bora
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why in 58 days are you gone?.
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Dreams are like rainbows,only idiots chase them.
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#86037 - 02/14/05 10:45 PM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
What's with all this "we" stuff? Who else other than you is complaining that Monkey isn't funny?
I'm new, and I joined specifically because Monkey and many others here made me laugh. I hate message boards, and except for here and the handful of posts on ADT that were strictly for learning/helping, I never post on them. XXXPT has shown me the light -- the red, venomous light of sin. I am forever changed.
After rereading what I typed above, I realize your severely lame and boring attributes were just too palpable for you to successfully confine. They have leaked from their holdings and seeped into my post. Just look at what you've caused me to type. I will keep all of it there as a symbol; a symbol that you have again reduced what could have potentially been a hilarious thread to absolute horseshit.
no random, he is right. im a hack, a washed up hack, im as useful as an alcoholic captain. So for the next 58 days the cage is bjfans, he runs it, he sets up the threads and i will email tony asking that for the next 58 days the monkey cage will be named the bjfan cage, its his to do what he wants with. Bjfan i saw you reading this just after my last response and nothing from you, im a little surprised, you don't like whats posted in the cage so i assume the reason you post here is for the attention, this is a great chance for you to get what you want. Cage is yours to run, you are familiar with whats funny and fits the correct satirical mold so i expect it to thrive under you. I have enjoyed my stay at the cage. I will contact tony to get all necessary changes, eg name change, mod change etc. Hopefully its all sorted out in the next day or two.
Old face of the tired, played out cage
The new fresh face of the much improved cage
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#86041 - 02/15/05 02:22 AM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2415
Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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Monkey not funny? Blasphemy!
58 days and counting
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" Bitch, not even a dumptruck full of Gucci bags would get me to do you. "- Gia Jordan response to pornactorforhire
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#86043 - 02/15/05 06:51 AM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/16/03
Posts: 339
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Bro....I never stated I wanted the cage nor wanted your job. Hell, part of the reason I don't want the cage is cause I wouldn't want to bore people with pointless attempts at satire and fail miserably (as you do now).
I still think it's funny monkey thinks my pic embarrases me by posting it. Unless my fiancee saw that pic, no one knows who the hell I am. FYI - Jpeg images don't include contact info. And, if you all recall, I never posted that in the cage...Jamesn originally brought that pic in from another forum. I thought this was against "unwritten" cage policy anyway???
Regardless, Monkey's feeling are hurt...which is understandable. Not everyone can thrive off of constructive critisism. But hey, it's all good in the end monkey. You got your cage, and you have.....ummmmm......well, you at least have your cage. For that, you should be thankful.
_________________________
Got under the monkey's skin like no poster ever has...I WIN!!!
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#86044 - 02/15/05 07:01 AM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Bro....I never stated I wanted the cage nor wanted your job. Hell, part of the reason I don't want the cage is cause I wouldn't want to bore people with pointless attempts at satire and fail miserably (as you do now).
I still think it's funny monkey thinks my pic embarrases me by posting it. Unless my fiancee saw that pic, no one knows who the hell I am. FYI - Jpeg images don't include contact info. And, if you all recall, I never posted that in the cage...Jamesn originally brought that pic in from another forum. I thought this was against "unwritten" cage policy anyway???
Regardless, Monkey's feeling are hurt...which is understandable. Not everyone can thrive off of constructive critisism. But hey, it's all good in the end monkey. You got your cage, and you have.....ummmmm......well, you at least have your cage. For that, you should be thankful.
Feelings hurt?, by you, LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Sammura has called me far worse in a single post then you have in every monkey related post you have put here. BUT at least she offered the board something, she had something to offer. So its not that im offended by your comments its just that its coming from a source that offers nothing, not one thing. So i figured i would give you the chance to do it, for a while, cause im interested to see what you can offer if given your own forum, maybe it will bring out an aspect of your personality that isn't cock related, burkakke related or how far you can stick your nose up the talents ass here. Im as curious as the next guy. Besides it gives me a legit excuse to slip away from this site as its addictive as crack and having to run a forum doesn't make it any easier, i figure you have a loyal following of people that love to read your stuff  , to be honest i wanted you here because you reminded me of a guy called bobby trendy as seen on the short lived anna nicole show, i thought you could carry the , is he or isn't he flag that i got tired of carrying, james warned me that you suck the personality and life out of a board in a very quick period of time, i ignored him, wrongly. So i will give you the option to run the forum for a week or ill ban you. I want you to offer the board something, anything, thats what i want, otherwise you just suck whatever life is in here.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#86046 - 02/15/05 09:31 AM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
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I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away . . .
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you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn
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#86047 - 02/15/05 11:10 AM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/03/03
Posts: 5849
Loc: TX, USA
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Any more dick pics and people are going to think XXXPT is sponsored by Evil Angel.
_________________________
"If they can't picture me with a knife, forcing them to strip in an alley, I don't want any part of it. It's humiliating." - windsock
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#86048 - 02/15/05 11:41 AM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Whoremaster
Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 2723
Loc: A very dark inner place, join ...
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I am home sick with the flu and this thread made me feel much better. I don't know why, but it did. By the way this strain of the flu sucks donkey dick.  But all the meds have made for a nice disconnected brain feeling. You can disregard this post as I have no idea what I started to say in it.
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'' Women are not people, they are devices built by our Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment.'' Peter Griffin
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#86049 - 02/16/05 06:42 AM
Re: Monkey's random shit
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/16/03
Posts: 339
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Thanks for "unbanning" me Tony. Geez...you think Monkey could have waited the 57 more days. Never thought monkey would ban me...didn't think it was his style of combat...
_________________________
Got under the monkey's skin like no poster ever has...I WIN!!!
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#86052 - 02/16/05 10:39 AM
W.T.F.
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 12/13/03
Posts: 2376
Loc: Rockin' the Z5U
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Quote:
Thanks for "unbanning" me Tony. Geez...you think Monkey could have waited the 57 more days. Never thought monkey would ban me...didn't think it was his style of combat...
What the fuck do you know about style of combat?????!!!!!.I mean this amusing thread with great potential was sitting here minding its own biz,when you jumped in and attacked it out of the blue(much like w.w.2 Japan)but,where they were willing to fly their own planes into a U.S. vessel in their efforts to win at all cost,you have nothing more to sustain this offensive other than to become a whiney-bitch  when engaged!This makes me want to  YOU started this shit!
For the sake of all that is holy ,Man Up! See this is how the faggot rumors get started,You attack,and then roll onto your back exposing the soft-fleshy throat like a dog who has been beaten too much,And cap it all off by criticizing anyones kung-fu.Tell me what would your defense against prison-rape be?Most likely to offer up the ass in advance,thereby lessening the severity of the rape and catching the dick on your own terms most likely.Sound kinda gay?Only cause it is.If its not too late to wrap this rant up with a moral ,Don't start any shit you are not prepared to finish.BTW I tried to give you artistic license to post your opinion,but the day you start deciding whats funny or not for the rest of us........check the sky ,cause you can bet I'll be flying my plane into your ship.
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"I hope someone runs you over with their car."-guapo
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