Who's Fayner kidding? He posted something today that at the very least seems to be exaggerated. Let's use the ol' Fayner to English Dictionary to translate it.

a call from nadia styles
Fayner Posts: In the drive-thru line at In-N-Out this afternoon, got an unexpected call from that awesomely awesome Nadia Styles.

"I was just thinking about you," she purred. "I want to suck your cock."
Translation: "I have the shakes and need a fix and will do anything for it."

"My small crooked cock? Really?" I answered.
Translation: "Even suck my small crooked cock?"

"It's not small. It's normal-size. It is crooked though."
Translation: "Yup."

"I'm coming over!" I shouted.
Translation: "I better get over there before you change your mind!"

"No. You make me too nervous."
Translation: "I changed my mind. I'm not that desperate."

"I make you nervous? How so?" I really wanted to know how this was possible.
Translation: "Ut oh, she fould out about the crabs."

"You look just like Brad Pitt. You're too good-looking," she exclaimed.
Translation: "I better stroke his ego or I'll lose my source."

"If you don't want to suck my dick, just say so. Lying isn't necessary."
Translation: "Ok, but don't go calling my next time you need a fix.

"Well," she confessed, "Maybe you could just get me drunk. Your dick will be out of your pants and in my mouth soon enough!"
Translation: "Damn painted myself in a corner now. Oh well, if I'm high enough I don't care who's dick is in my mouth even your's Fayner."

The rest is R-Rated and cannot be reprinted due to restrictions...
Translation: She passed out and he molested her.

I don't go to lukeford.com anymore and haven't for like a month, its just depressing now, my thoughts on fayner and how he runs that site are well documented already so i won't go into it further.

Fayner needs to die as the money shot of this particular story, preferably as the lonely old junkie using a hammer to pound the syringe through his calloused arms.

I'm not sure what's more sad: that he still has that site or that he dreams of someday leaving it behind to become a real writer. I'd estimate there are at least a dozen better writers here, far more witty, far more pithy, and a hell of a lot more funny than the aspiring Simpsons writer. Seriously, I've never even cracked more than a pity smile for Fayner, and I have issues with anyone who has.