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#85366 - 02/08/05 08:35 PM
Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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since the jenna fanboys littered the cage a week or so ago the cage has got a lot of flack, some even went as far as to say the cage glory days were behind them after only a few days. To those i have this to say, the cage is great and here is some of the many reason i love the cage. * my super spin punch is totally tough * only place where Chico Traviesos physical abuse towards women can be exposed * the Garfield era * its 97% smartt free * gave us leanna hearts crazy agent * crooked cocks give hookers vaginal orgasms *  * bishop/grant michaels racism off * Ashton moore performing while pregnant for jkp was broken here * vivid stars that fucks dogs were brough back into the limelight * It chewed up and spat out pussy power *  and  * porn pictures monkey style * 13327 posts with 90% being really good. * crazy mexican human toilets that dig themselves a deeper hole * nabba ms.figure new jersey 2004 * the fact its the most relevant board in a field of irrelevance * and to quote james, "you are nobody in the industry until you've had to come here to deny something". theres more but i have a short memory.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#85368 - 02/08/05 09:49 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 12/22/03
Posts: 1715
Loc: Everything for the people, not...
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the cage is a source of amusement fo sho..
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Theres a great big beautiful tomorrow...shining at the end of everyday.
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#85370 - 02/09/05 02:31 AM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2415
Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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Free watches for all.
*disclaimer*
If you feel bigheaded or have a huge ego, come to the Cage, we'll take care of it.
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" Bitch, not even a dumptruck full of Gucci bags would get me to do you. "- Gia Jordan response to pornactorforhire
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#85371 - 02/09/05 07:22 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Hooray for this thread. I plan on making a quick recruiting trip to try and lure hot piink here, she cracks me up.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#85372 - 02/09/05 08:36 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 12/13/03
Posts: 2376
Loc: Rockin' the Z5U
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The cage rocks because its the only place I post!
Ok I been real busy as of late what with a new co. to shoot for,a new release at Darkside (head clinic no.7)not to mention being busier now as a performer than any other time in my career,and not to forget my most recent arrest(thanx to Monkey for bailing me out ,I promise not to skip this time)but there seems to be quite a bit that goes on when I am not here.
Was Jenna (fuckin') Jameson really here? Is john garfield really gone and Smartt is still here? and MOST IMPORTANT of ALL ,How are Cleetus and jamesn?! boy I tell you ,you bat a fuckin eye around here and the place just turns upside-down on you if Jenna was here and I missed her I might as well start makin' a noose. Where did I leave that rope? maybe some malt liquor....should I leave a note........
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"I hope someone runs you over with their car."-guapo
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#85373 - 02/09/05 09:07 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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It's alright Bishop. Not only was Jenna here, she is still here from time to time.
Have you met nosey yet?
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#85374 - 02/09/05 10:41 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Human Garbage
Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 1683
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Bishop, that was a pretty weak plug. I wish all the industry people here would plug their shit here more often. I understand you might not care if you're not getting anything on the back-end but it's how you get a cult following.
I mean, there's Bishop, who we know and love and who lets us crash on his couch when we get chased out of our homes by smartt's army of underground tranny paramilitaries, and then there's Catalina, who would like to inform us that we can get accurate information about her latest pap smears at her website, xxxcatalinaxxxcatxxxaxxxlinaxxxxxx.com.
On an unrelated note, Monkey, if you tell HotPiiink that Jenna posts here, you think she'll dump Randi? Although I like Catalina better, she's got that dark undertone to her and threatens to throw chicken blood and burn black candles on our doorstep. Randi is just sort of "rip your chest out and smear your entrails all over her body while she dances around naked to the BeeGees" crazy.
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#85375 - 02/10/05 05:08 AM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/16/03
Posts: 339
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Glad to see your still jackin to my pic monkey.
This may be off topic, but anyone else bored with the Monkey Cage? I come here to find a chuckle, but I only find amusement about 2% of the time.
No one is creative enough in here it seems...and I have been here for a while now. I think we need to hire the writers for Seinfeld or fire somebody (i.e. shoot a hostage).
The cage deserves better....
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Got under the monkey's skin like no poster ever has...I WIN!!!
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#85378 - 02/10/05 07:43 AM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Bjfan is a lowlife scum bag, he said that he has performed in two jm bukkakes and he said the next one he performs in he will cum on bishop's leg just cause he is a fan of the cage, he is a sick fuck.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#85380 - 02/10/05 01:49 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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My Man Bishop  It is good to have you back in the cage, we had begun to worry if you were forced into witness protection. I can tell you have been busy because I have seen you in a greater percentage of the porn I have been renting /buying lately. This is good news, keep making the bucks and good flicks dude. BTW a few of us were confused thAT there are 2 Bishops in porn- seymore's Bishop and you. Porn people need copyright protection
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"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#85382 - 02/11/05 03:15 AM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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whoa, welcome back bishop! the board's been flakier than a porn chick on a 4-day tweak i must have missed your return.
biff--you should ask to borrow bishop's screwdriver and put bjfan out of his misery. then keep stabbing him for his crimes against all that is good, straight, and funny.
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"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#85384 - 02/11/05 09:07 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
Quote:
Again, Biff further proves my point with his typed rhetoric, the creativity lacks in the cage (even more so from Biff...because he is never even "clever"...all he does is bitch/moan/complain to me among others.) He's like a brod who needs her shit smacked.
I think biff will be our first shot hostage. He will end his life as it began, and no one will notice...
It's really scary that a prostate tickling, turd tasting faggot such as yourself has a computer. Got any bodies buried in your mom's basement? 
This is funny, but for some reason I find it REALLY funny right now....of course, a stoned employee just tried to explain to me that the group THIRD EYE BLIND is a passive reference to male impotence. Reasoning went something like this:
"Well, dude, sir, You know how some people refer to the male organ, you know, DICK, as the "one eyed wonder worm"? Well that ONE, you know....EYE would be, in this case the third eye, and if its BLIND then you cant get it up.....<inhale>"
(ME)
"Uh huh. Pass the fucking joint."
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Are you gonna eat that?
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#85385 - 02/11/05 09:22 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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I HATE THE CAGE, I HATE THE WORLD, THE WORLD STINKS WAAAAAAA, KILL KILL KILL DIE DIE DIE, I LIKE ROBOTS WITH 10 FINGERS ON EACH HAND.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#85386 - 02/11/05 09:34 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Whoremaster
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 2742
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Quote:
.of course, a stoned employee just tried to explain to me that the group THIRD EYE BLIND is a passive reference to male impotence. Reasoning went something like this:
"Well, dude, sir, You know how some people refer to the male organ, you know, DICK, as the "one eyed wonder worm"? Well that ONE, you know....EYE would be, in this case the third eye, and if its BLIND then you cant get it up.....<inhale>"
(ME)
"Uh huh. Pass the fucking joint."
you know that's completely wrong right? that your third eye is your vision and insight meaning they have none. they are stumbling around kind of soulless. Take that boys weed
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#85387 - 02/11/05 09:43 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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"Uh huh. Pass the fucking joint."
Hallmark moment....you had to be there.
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Are you gonna eat that?
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#85388 - 02/11/05 09:50 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Whoremaster
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 2742
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what and miss sitting alone in my apartment!
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#85391 - 02/12/05 02:00 AM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
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Quote:
biff--you should ask to borrow bishop's screwdriver and put bjfan out of his misery. then keep stabbing him for his crimes against all that is good, straight, and funny.
That fag would like it. Stabbing him with a screwdriver wouldn't be painful enough. Hmmm..I could use some ideas.
Quote:
I think Biff is like the "Proctor" character from the Police Academy movies....where he just follows another character because he can't think of anything original on his own.
Let's get him the blindfold and tie him to the post....NOW!!!!
Oh, Biff, almost forgot...I think you should really read this and put an end to your #1 hobby...SAVE YOUR TEETH:
http://www.savethehumans.com/donkeysteak/news/03oct/page4.shtml
You remind me of a John Wayne Gacy type. Skinnier of course, but gayer.
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I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.
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#85394 - 04/20/05 05:49 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 10/17/04
Posts: 115
Loc: MA
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I'm not an agent & I'm definitely not crazy. I saw the shot Jenna Jameson took @ you. Implode much, monkey? 
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#85395 - 04/20/05 07:36 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Holy shit its green fucking lantern. On parole i assume.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#85396 - 04/20/05 07:59 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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nah, he's too cagey to violate all of those restraining orders and leanna's dead from the drugs he got her hooked on.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#85400 - 04/21/05 09:32 AM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
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My boy GL . . . . . . I don't know what to say.
Welcome. Someone warn Leanna.
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you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn
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#85401 - 04/26/05 09:24 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 10/17/04
Posts: 115
Loc: MA
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I don't touch drugs & I have NOT tried to get anyone hooked on them.
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#85403 - 04/27/05 02:17 AM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 04/06/05
Posts: 959
Loc: The Outer Labia of Jenna Haze
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Its too late, Green Lantern has probably ground Leanna up into a million pieces and stuck her in the fridge. He probably kept one of her bolt ons though and used it as a bong.
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jrv im going to fucking kill you and 3 of your family members-SM
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#85406 - 04/28/05 08:50 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 10/17/04
Posts: 115
Loc: MA
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I don't do drugs so I have nothing to hide. You on the other hand are on something of the recreational variety.
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#85408 - 04/29/05 07:40 AM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
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Sad. I'm crying.
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you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn
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#85409 - 05/03/05 08:11 PM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 10/17/04
Posts: 115
Loc: MA
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You should see monkey's reply to the PM I sent him pointing out Jenna Jameson's "shoutout to him. It is weaker than a fight between Urkel & Carson from Queer Eye.
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#85411 - 05/04/05 08:28 AM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
Quote:
You should see monkey's reply to the PM I sent him pointing out Jenna Jameson's "shoutout to him
Yo shut up bitch, i want to kill you cut you and feed you to animal that go woof bark, then take left over and put in thing dat go flush, wet slide back. WOOSH. KILL KILL KILL DIE DIE DIE.
You should go easy on him man. I'm sure he's in enough trouble for stealing, stuffing, and mounting Leanna's drug overdosed body and propping her up on his couch at home. 
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#85412 - 05/04/05 10:28 AM
Re: Reasons why i love the Cage
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
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He even tied a bib around her lifeless neck so his nasty sperm wouldn't soil her perfect tits.
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you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn
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