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#84868 - 02/06/05 11:59 AM Mainstream DVD Review Thread
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
I want to use this thread to post any reviews or feelings about that flick you just watched last night. Was Batman Returns good or did it suck- tell us so we can share in its wonder or don't get ripped off like you did.
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"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me. Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"

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#84869 - 02/06/05 12:03 PM Re: Mainstream DVD Review Thread
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
I'll start with Paparazzi- I like revenge type movies as shown by my love for Man on Fire, Death Wish flicks and the Punisher to name a few but I did not like this one. It seemed to me more of a fantasy of someone who has been wronged by the paparrazi. I bet a lot of actors liked it as a catharsis but as a regular joe it left much to be desired. Save your cash.
.... Rent only on budget night

_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me. Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"

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#84870 - 02/06/05 05:46 PM NINJA - THE FINAL DUEL (1986)
Smartt Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 5869
Loc: Instead of looking at the girl...



NAKED KUNG FU BABES!

Got your attention? Good. Now let's get down to business.

"Ninja: The Final Duel" is a colorful, ultra-kinetic, gore-drenched and delightfully zany taiwanese production that's been shrouded in mystery and a lot of confusion... until now! Complete sequences were reused in "Shaolin Vs. Ninja" and 1999's "Shaolin Dolemite" (yes, Rudy Ray Moore did "Kung Pow!" three years earlier!), and legend says the original cut is 8-hours long. Well... sorry, but that's not accurate. Let me dispel those rumours once and for all, okay?

This little epic had three sequels, ALL named "Ninja: The Final Duel" by overseas distributors on dope. It's hard to keep track of 'em all (the IMDb is never reliable when it comes to asian stuff), and bootleggers used to put all three on one single tape and call it simply "Ninja: The Final Duel", giving rise to the 8-hour production assumption. Versions on TV and home video have bits and pieces of each film mixed in, but this DVD release by Crash Cinema (www.crashcinema.com) is actually the second volume of the "Ninja" series in its entirety.

For the ones who didn't see part one, a quick recap tells how the japanese ninja clan tried to take over China, only to have their asses handed to them by the Shaolin monks. In shame over the defeat, the Ninja Leader commited sepukku (sissy!). That pissed off this brother, also a ninja boss (I don't know how to spell his name, so I'll call him "Master Pantless"; look at his outfit in the last sequence and you'll know why), who vowed to destroy the entire Shaolin clan.

Meanwhile, we find out that the Shaolin Abbott (Richard Tseng) isn't much thrilled with the victory over the ninjas. Being a peace-loving guy, he closes the temple for visitors and refuses to accept challenges. But the vengeful ninjas break in and wreck havok, leaving a lot of beheaded corpses behind. So the Abbott, aided by japanese envoy Wong Chi Chow (Alexander Lo in full Bruce Lee copycat mode, nose gesture and all) and his comic-relief aide Chian Tin (Charliema Tsu), gathers his forces and goes out to kick Master Pantless ass once again.

Oh well. Just another of those reverent and meaningful revenge plots that are the basis of kung fu movies, correct?

Wrong. Ah, but that's SO wrong you have no idea! "Ninja: The Final Duel" not only gives the Power Rangers a run for their money when it comes to extremely absurd fight scenes and characters, but will have you laughing so hard that it is better not watch it with a full stomach!

The fun starts right in the first scenes, where we see ninjas using their elemental skills (spelled "ELEMET" on the subtitles), while an informative voiceover narrates what we're seein' onscreen. Ninjas not only fly thru the air and disappear at will; they also burrow through sand like Bugs Bunny, ride giant flying aquatic spiders (don't-fucking-ask!) and break large ice blocks. That last part surprised me the most because there were no iceboxes in Medieval China. But then I was introduced to two gay hare-krishna fighters from California (Silvio Azzolini and Ahmed Najja) and a jive-talkin' Black Monk from Harlem (Eugene Thomas, credited as Eugene T. Trammell), so I just sat back and let it slide. This is a Robert Tai movie, folks! The same guy who made "Death Cage" and "Ninja Death"! What was I expecting? Historical accuracy? The soundtrack steals entire cues from "Rambo" and "Ghostbusters", so I wouldn't be surprised to see ninjas using AKs or ghost-catching weapons.

When it comes to action, "Ninja: The Final Duel" is a blast. A BLAST, man! The Swastika Trap choreography must be seen to be believed, and of course there's the famous scene with Alice Tseng, full-frontally naked, facing an army of ninjas. Some sequences are sped up to ridiculous extremes and the wirework is awful, but even that adds to the fun. The fight scene between Master Pantless and the Black Monk at the beach is so over-the-top that you just have to LOVE it.

Moving on to the DVD technical issues, well... we all know that the small independent companies have a lot of difficulties finding good prints of these films. Heck, even the original "Drunken Master" was deteriorating in some Hong Kong vault, and we're talking Jackie Chan! But "Ninja: The Final Duel" doesn't suck. The image is soft and lacking in detail, there are speckles and dropouts here and there, and the colors are not vivid neither faded; but in toto, it's as watchable as a good VHS dupe. The only problem is a couple of night scenes, so dark and muddy that what's happening there is anybody's guess. Extras include an amusing trailer, and fans of bad dubbing will have a field day listening to Shaolin Monks saying things like "they'll get the shit beaten out of them" or the famous Black Monk quote: "You're a mean dude. But she's ash, so don't give me this trash."


Attachments
78920-547810h.jpg (5 downloads)


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#84871 - 02/06/05 06:15 PM Re: NINJA - THE FINAL DUEL (1986)
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
Did you really write that review? If so Nice one dude.
How does this one compare to Chinese super ninjas? or would you say that the one you reviewed is a comedy experience only?
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me. Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"

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#84872 - 02/06/05 10:57 PM Re: A GUN FOR JESSICA (1993)
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo


I watched this incredibly zanny flick recently after hearing so much about it from peers.
The film starts off with a girl called Jennifer (Deborah Twiss)who recently arrives in New York (at this point its not clear where she is from but definately shes new in the city) where she is attacked by some hoods and almost raped until some female vigilantes rescue her from the ordeal and force her to "blow the motherfuckers gawddamn brains out". With dialogue like that you know you're watching a great movie already.
So she joins this merry crew of bitches whose sole purpose in life is to fsck up men who don't respect women (one scene has these lesbos convince some poor punters into staying after hours in a strip club only to beat the shit of of them).
It's not as good as I Spit On Your Grave or even as cool as my favorite swedish slasher flick They Call Her One Eye but it has a simple and very clear sincere message I couldn't help but fall in love with it's desperate outcry.
If you find it, give it a chance.

BTW: there were a couple of scenes that reminded me of Gasper Noe's film Irreversible...especially Jennifer's rape scene.
The last "dinner" scene reminded me of Sodomites. Am not exactly sure why, but they both had the same 'frenzied' action very obvious on screen.


Attachments
78976-GUNFORJENNIFER.JPG (4 downloads)



Edited by loopnode (02/06/05 11:05 PM)
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I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#84873 - 02/06/05 11:23 PM Re: NINJA - THE FINAL DUEL (1986)
Smartt Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 5869
Loc: Instead of looking at the girl...
Quote:

Did you really write that review?




Aye.

Quote:

If so Nice one dude.




I know.

Quote:

How does this one compare to Chinese super ninjas?




As wacky as.

Quote:

or would you say that the one you reviewed is a comedy experience only?




Nah, fight scenes are cool too. Way way over the top, but cool.

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#84874 - 02/06/05 11:38 PM Institute Benjamenta (1995)
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo


Lonely, quiet, post apocalyptic, poetic, disturbing, beautiful, complex and very expressionistic...The Brothers Quay tell a story about a man called Jakob, who arrives at at an institute to train how to be a servant. The institute is run by a brother and sister who are very strict on the performance of their students (one of the lessons involves swaying from side to side for hours and another is falling down one student after another).
Jakob narrates the story in a form of a poetic diary. He feels pressured, abused and sometimes seduced by his teacher (the beautiful Alice Krige). Atmosphere, animation, absurdity and a sense of rigor mortis drive this piece to an almost Lynchian conclusion with enough 16mm black and white reversal stock to wrap a mummy around.
It's definately not a movie you should seek out, rather, let yourself stumble upon it...almost by accident. And then when you do, discover it. It's definately not in the norm and gladly so.


Attachments
78981-2005.jpg (2 downloads)



Edited by loopnode (02/06/05 11:40 PM)
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#84875 - 02/07/05 02:35 AM Re: Institute Benjamenta (1995)
Smartt Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 5869
Loc: Instead of looking at the girl...
Holy crap, I thought I was the only person in the planet who have seen Institut Benjamenta.


Attachments
78989-Capture_088.jpg (4 downloads)


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#84876 - 02/07/05 02:45 AM Re: Mainstream DVD Review Thread
Toelicker Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
Quote:

I'll start with Paparazzi- I like revenge type movies as shown by my love for Man on Fire, Death Wish flicks and the Punisher to name a few but I did not like this one. It seemed to me more of a fantasy of someone who has been wronged by the paparrazi. I bet a lot of actors liked it as a catharsis but as a regular joe it left much to be desired. Save your cash.
.... Rent only on budget night






Agreed. I like Gibson, but this was basically him mentally masturbating. Boring.

_________________________
you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn

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#84877 - 02/07/05 06:14 AM Re: Mainstream DVD Review Thread
smutspov Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
Aliens vs. Predators kind sucked.
_________________________
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#84878 - 02/07/05 01:50 PM Re: Mainstream DVD Review Thread
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Quote:

Aliens vs. Predators kind sucked.






AVP wasn't as bad as RESIDENT EVIL 2... Paul W.S. Anderson is definitely an acquired taste, it seems. I still think RESIDENT EVIL 1 was the fucking bomb. His casting of Michelle Rodriguez as the toughie, was so perfect. Man, she is easily the sexiest actress currently working in mainstream film. All the blonde bimbos saturating the movie landscape can't walk damn next to that latino babe.



AVP wasn't great but it had its moments. The first Alien Predator scrap was fucking dope. The story was lacking and there was plenty of silliness with the human and the Predator making nice. I mean gimme a break, alright. I did love the backstory between the Pred and Alien, and kinda wished that was the movie, but alas, it wasn't. Lance Henriksen commanded nothing but the audience's full attention from the moment he pops on the screen until the moment he gets croaked sniff sniff. Man, Lance is, was and will always be the shit!

As for Institute Benjamenta, A Gun For Jennifer and Ninja The Final Duel. Keep em coming guys. I love searching out these obscure movies.

Just ordered the 50 movie sci-fi boxset and a couple of the Brentwood boxsets from ebay.ca. I feel like a junkie getting a fix whenever I order these boxsets.

Just worked my way through the Horrible Horrors (1-2) boxset from Rhino. All in all, not a bad set. Crater Lake Monster rocks!


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#84879 - 02/07/05 02:21 PM Re: Mainstream DVD Review Thread
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
It is funny because I liked both AvP and Resident Evil 2 but didn't like RE as much. For a real stinker check out House of the dead
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317676/
Like i said I am fairly easy to please but this did not do the job- thankfully I got 8 bucks for it on a trade in.
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me. Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"

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#84880 - 02/07/05 02:56 PM Re: Mainstream DVD Review Thread
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Quote:

It is funny because I liked both AvP and Resident Evil 2 but didn't like RE as much.




Maybe I'm just blinded by my lust for Michelle. LOL!



Quote:


For a real stinker check out House of the dead
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317676/
Like i said I am fairly easy to please but this did not do the job- thankfully I got 8 bucks for it on a trade in.




The trailer for this movie totally turned me off. I just remember somebody springing into the air firing off a shotgun. I was like, "No thanks!"

I do love the older HOUSE OF THE DEAD (aka ALIEN ZONE)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072626/combined

Children turning into creatures and cannibalizing their teacher. That scared the shit out of me when I was just a little kid. Treeline Films just released it on DVD, and I got it! Yessir!

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#84881 - 02/07/05 03:13 PM Re: Mainstream DVD Review Thread
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
Since you seem to like older schlock Jamie- have you ever seen The legend of Boggy Creek?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068837/
I have loved that flick since childhood it is a psuedo documentary type of film about bigfoot- they released it a couple of years ago on dvd and I scooped it up. You may want to give it a try.
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me. Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"

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#84882 - 02/07/05 04:02 PM Escrava Isaura (1976)
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo


When i was growing up, i was big into telenovelas. Not soap operas, but telenovelas. To me there is actually a difference. To some, its all the same thing. This little brazilan drama had me glued to the cube for years while it aired. It's the story of Isaura, a slave girl, who is born into a world of slavery under the evil Senor Leoncio Correa De Almeida (i just love this guy) and her fight for freedom. One scene (towards the end of episode 26 i believe) has Leoncio lock up a bunch of slaves in a barn and torch the place..much to the dismay of poor lil' ol Isaura.
Now am sure you're thinking...where the hell am i supposed to find a telenovela? Well, believe it or not, if you live in the states, a little german film company (mostly distributing old german tv shows like Derrick) has put this baby out (unfortunately dubbed only) on DVD-R (bargh). I'm not sure if Brazil has an actual generic print of the series for sale. If you look hard enough, you just might stumble on another hidden gem. Don't sleep.


Attachments
79129-1760503.jpg (4 downloads)



Edited by loopnode (02/07/05 04:05 PM)
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#84883 - 02/07/05 04:25 PM Madame Satã (2002)
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo


I'm sure most of you have heard about this film, but then there is always a chance you haven't. I was glad enough to catch it at a special screening last year and the place was jam packed with trannies (i wasn't sure why, but boy did i find out).
This film is the true story about a guy called João Francisco dos Santos who is in a bit of a pickle. You see, Joao hates to be bossed around. Even worse, he hates to be played, he hates to be poor, he hates his (crossdressing) tranny friend Tabu and he hates the fact nobody will show him any respect when he's in drag. His friends are whores, theieves, low lives and your basic merry crew of degenerate scum. 1932 definately isn't the highlight of homeboy's life. But he has a solution. He will rebel against the system. He will refuse to bow down to authority and he will flaunt himself however he sees fit. Don't like it? Tough, he will beat the crossdressing carnival drag queen out of you.
Colorful, erratic, restless, erotic, controversial, agitating and a definate testesterone raiser from brazil. Now if only Vanity were in the audience...


Attachments
79132-madame-sata-poster01.jpg (3 downloads)



Edited by loopnode (02/07/05 04:30 PM)
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#84884 - 02/07/05 05:57 PM Re: Escrava Isaura (1976)
Smartt Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 5869
Loc: Instead of looking at the girl...
Quote:

This little brazilan drama had me glued to the cube for years while it aired. It's the story of Isaura, a slave girl, who is born into a world of slavery under the evil Senor Leoncio Correa De Almeida (i just love this guy) and her fight for freedom. One scene (towards the end of episode 26 i believe) has Leoncio lock up a bunch of slaves in a barn and torch the place..much to the dismay of poor lil' ol Isaura.




There´s a remake airing in Brazil as we speak. It has the original Leoncio (Rubens de Falco) on a bit part. But the remake is not as good as the original.

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#84885 - 02/07/05 06:10 PM Re: Escrava Isaura (1976)
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
Quote:

Quote:

This little brazilan drama had me glued to the cube for years while it aired. It's the story of Isaura, a slave girl, who is born into a world of slavery under the evil Senor Leoncio Correa De Almeida (i just love this guy) and her fight for freedom. One scene (towards the end of episode 26 i believe) has Leoncio lock up a bunch of slaves in a barn and torch the place..much to the dismay of poor lil' ol Isaura.




There´s a remake airing in Brazil as we speak. It has the original Leoncio (Rubens de Falco) on a bit part. But the remake is not as good as the original.




Interesting. Does Maria das Graças also make a cameo? I thought she was so attractive as Santa, not only because she was ugly and evil, but because of how she died...
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#84886 - 02/07/05 10:26 PM Re: Escrava Isaura (1976)
Smartt Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 5869
Loc: Instead of looking at the girl...
Quote:

Interesting. Does Maria das Graças also make a cameo?




Well... that would spook the fuck out of everybody, since the actress died in real life years ago.

And by the way, do you know that Santa doesn´t die in the book?

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#84887 - 02/08/05 07:20 AM Re: Escrava Isaura (1976)
Jeff Steward Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/14/03
Posts: 7408
Loc: JM Productions
I watched Napoleon Dynamite last night.Funny movie.I recommend it.
_________________________
all women should be victims of something, because they lied. - big moose

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#84888 - 02/08/05 07:31 AM Re: Escrava Isaura (1976)
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
Quote:


Well... that would spook the fuck out of everybody, since the actress died in real life years ago.

And by the way, do you know that Santa doesn´t die in the book?




I was unware of both these 2 facts.
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#84889 - 02/08/05 07:46 AM A Hero Ain't Nothin' But a Sandwich (1978)
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo


"Your daddy's shoes ain't under my momma's bed so don't you be calling me your brother"

I still remember those words and it must've been 10 years since i watched this little sleeper.
Benji is about 13. He has a hot ass mom called Sweets (hehe- Cicely Tyson ). He's black. He lives in South Central L.A, and he's one hell of a poet. But the alure of heroin is too much to ignore. Besides "you're just a jive turkey if you ain't down with the good shit". His family tries to help him kick it, namely Butler, the man who gives Sweets a piece of African History they never told you about in school, and one of Benji's friend...but to no avail.
An offset into an emotional rollercoaster begins as we watch Benji's struggle with dope; will he kick the habit and immerge into a great Afrikan American poet that his teacher Nigera believes him to be? And will he accept the fact that his mom is not called Sweets for nothing? Interesting if nothing else...



Attachments
79300-aheroaint.jpg (3 downloads)



Edited by loopnode (02/08/05 08:03 AM)
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#84890 - 02/09/05 11:10 AM Re: A Hero Ain't Nothin' But a Sandwich (1978)
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Legend of Boggy Creek was a great docu-horror. That is one of the creepier Bigfoot movies ever made in my opinion. The two sequels blew dog though.

Jeff, Napoleon Dynamite wasn't as funny as I expected it to be. I thought the Nappoleon character started off charming (in a nerdy kind of way), but as the movie went along, I just found him incredibly annoying.

AS for Loopnode and Smartt, you guys definitely watch some strange movies. I'll have fun seeking them out.

A Hero Ain't Nothin' but A Sandwich seems a little more removed from the other films you've mentioned Loop. I'm wondering if you had something to do with the production of the movie.

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#84891 - 02/09/05 11:32 AM Re: Mainstream DVD Review Thread
Jeff Steward Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/14/03
Posts: 7408
Loc: JM Productions
Check out Shaun of the Dead.Very cool movie all though the director rips off a lot of Guy Ritchie's moves.I give it .
_________________________
all women should be victims of something, because they lied. - big moose

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#84892 - 02/09/05 01:10 PM Re: A Hero Ain't Nothin' But a Sandwich (1978)
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
Quote:


A Hero Ain't Nothin' but A Sandwich seems a little more removed from the other films you've mentioned Loop. I'm wondering if you had something to do with the production of the movie.




Yes, definately removed and I had nothing to do with the production. I just thought it was a good flick.
The last flick which I "helped" out on (and is worth mentioning) was Chris Cunningham's story about Big Head John but I think he's calling it Rubber Johnny.
Incase you didn't know, Big Head John was a kid born with too much water in his head and had one hell of a guliver, but I think Chris just used this as inspiration for his character. The movie is evil so be sure to catch it. I stole all his ideas too
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#84893 - 02/09/05 02:22 PM Re: A Hero Ain't Nothin' But a Sandwich (1978)
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Quote:

Quote:


A Hero Ain't Nothin' but A Sandwich seems a little more removed from the other films you've mentioned Loop. I'm wondering if you had something to do with the production of the movie.




Yes, definately removed and I had nothing to do with the production. I just thought it was a good flick.
The last flick which I "helped" out on (and is worth mentioning) was Chris Cunningham's story about Big Head John but I think he's calling it Rubber Johnny.
Incase you didn't know, Big Head John was a kid born with too much water in his head and had one hell of a guliver, but I think Chris just used this as inspiration for his character. The movie is evil so be sure to catch it. I stole all his ideas too





Dude, are you Shane Meadows, Chris Morris or Cunninghham, himself? Can you score me a copy of Dead Man's Shoes? That looks totally dope.

Not much info on Rubber Johnny though, except that it's a short, and that Aphex Twin does the music. Aphex Twin is the bomb. I love some of their NIN remixes. I listen to AT's NIN remix for A Warm Place almost daily.

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#84894 - 02/09/05 02:55 PM Re: A Hero Ain't Nothin' But a Sandwich (1978)
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
Quote:


Not much info on Rubber Johnny though, except that it's a short, and that Aphex Twin does the music. Aphex Twin is the bomb. I love some of their NIN remixes. I listen to AT's NIN remix for A Warm Place almost daily.




He does more than just the music for the flick, he's producing it as well.
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#84895 - 02/09/05 03:59 PM Re: Mainstream DVD Review Thread
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
Quote:

Check out Shaun of the Dead.Very cool movie all though the director rips off a lot of Guy Ritchie's moves.I give it .




Damn right Jeff a funny flick indeed
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me. Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"

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#84896 - 02/09/05 06:11 PM Re: Mainstream DVD Review Thread
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Quote:

Quote:

Check out Shaun of the Dead.Very cool movie all though the director rips off a lot of Guy Ritchie's moves.I give it .




Damn right Jeff a funny flick indeed






Shaun of the Dead was great. Totally hilarious. Didn't care for the ending though. I thought that they should have done more with that second group, the ones that were similar to them. They could have gone into a totally original direction instead of falling back on the old NOTLD ending.

Picked up a stack of b-horror movies tonight. Jackhammer Massacre, Monster Man, Frankenfish, Revenge of the Rats and Gargoyle Broken Wings of Darkness.

As for Aphex Twin, I assumed it was a band. Didn't realize it was just one guy. Well, I can say he's one talented mo-fo. As for his producing of the movie, like I said, there's virtually no data concerning the film on the net.

Aphex Twin did another NIN remix titled, simply enough, 'vs Techno'. That song has a really creepy vibe that I enjoy immensely. Man, I love AT's shit, well, what I've heard of it so far.

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#84897 - 02/09/05 08:50 PM Re: Mainstream DVD Review Thread
jamesn Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
cleet, got the miami vice set, it's the best thing ever. i've watched like half of it already, they need to come out with the rest by the end of the week.
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Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits

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#84898 - 02/09/05 10:01 PM Re: Mainstream DVD Review Thread
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
Quote:

cleet, got the miami vice set, it's the best thing ever. i've watched like half of it already, they need to come out with the rest by the end of the week.




Yeah, I got it too but I am still watching the pilot episode. The quality of the dvds are good and I still love this show as I did so long ago. I am sure they will release more because this sold well I bet. Plus I thought i heard they were making a miami vice movie- I bet they release season two when the flick comes out. I agree I hope it is soon. Now all I need is Baretta season 2 to come out faster.


Jamie- Frankenfish was suprisingly good I think you will like it.
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#84899 - 02/09/05 11:24 PM Valerie a týden divu (1970)
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo


The Czech Republic has to be one of the most beautiful countries I have ever been to. I swear, it's just gorgeous..and not just in a lovely, pretty way, but in a haunting deja-vu sort of way. It's so mystical you'll swear you had to have been there before (maybe even in a dream).
So how do you explain a film that is both beautiful in a lovely pretty way- but leaves you distubed and mystifed? This is the stuff of dreams.
Mystical, rhythmic, erotic, in-coherent, captivating and ever so mesmorizing..a week of wonders for Valerie is a 2 decades of magic for the world.

P.S. If you can..pick up Lide z metra (1974) while you're at it for some uber insanity. Jan Curík, you will be missed


Attachments
79611-valerie.jpg (2 downloads)



Edited by loopnode (02/09/05 11:44 PM)
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#84900 - 02/10/05 12:52 AM ROCK´N´ROLL FRANKENSTEIN (1999)
Smartt Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 5869
Loc: Instead of looking at the girl...


Everybody knows that music moguls are a lower life form, somewhere between lawyers, dung beetles and plankton. Record producer Bernie Stein (Barry Feterman) is one of those fat'n'greedy sumbiatches who, after being fired by his last contract player, vows to fabricate his next pop singer from scratch. Well, not exactly scratch. Bernie's necrophiliac nephew Frankie (Jayson Spense), a dime-and-a-dozen Herbert West, created a serum that re-animates spare body parts. Talk about coincidence, huh? Frankie is in debt with unca Bernie, so he agrees to assemble - literally! - The greatest rock idol of all time.

With the help of cokehead Iggy (Hiram Jacob Segarra, playing an amusing character who deserves to be in other films), Frankie creates King, a patchwork of prime cuts from the greatest rock stars. King has Hendrix's hands, Elvis' brain' (and herein lies some suspension of disbelief, cause everybody knows that Elvis is not dead), Buddy Holly's something (it's never clear what), Sid Vicious' butt, Keith Moon's legs and Jim Morrison's... uh.... Gregory pecker. Well, at least that's what was in the original blueprint. But this is comedy, so something MUST go wrong. If you ever saw a Lucio Fulci movie, you know that morgues always have an open vat of acid around. This, and a strategically placed bong that sets off a fire alarm, cause Morrison's schlong to be accidentally replaced by... Liberace's!

Hm. So far, we have a potential disaster here. Something that could be worse than Carrot Top: The Musical. Well, don't be disappointed yet. Sure, Rock'n'Roll Frankenstein has its fair share of eschatological humor (there's even a nod to Flesh For Frankenstein's gut-fuckin' scene). But gross comedy rarely works without a heart, and this film has an ace in the hole: King.

As played by Graig Guggenheim, King is a lot of things but NEVER a jumbled, obvious or senseless parody. The actor doesn't resemble Elvis at all, and this, believe me, helps the movie. Graig created a real, sometimes touching character; a man with the Christian mentality of Elvis conflicted with the "unnatural urges" fueled by Liberace's ding-dong. And thanks to a superdose of Frankie's serum, the offending member gets a life of its own. It even speaks, and quite a lot, about the sweet smell of dingleberries and how he wants to get "shitfaced"! (BTW, Libby's voice is supplied by helmer Brian O'Hara, so I guess it is safe to call the director a dick - heh heh heh!).

King is very confused. As he poetically puts it, "pussy's what it wants up here, but big fat hairy buttholes is what it wants down here". Our hero resorts to gerbiling and male hookers to quench his thirst, but things get homicidal when women are added to the mix. And during the infamous sequence where King goes to a priest for help... well, ladies and gentleman, be prepared for one of the most blasphemous scenes ever committed on celluloid! Personally I wasn't offended, but this bit is so far-out that O'Hara is already getting flak for it. If you're a religious nut, STAY CLEAR! In fact, if you're an over-sensitive homosexual, anti-abortionist or PETA militant, STAY CLEAR too - this movie WILL offend you!



But if you have an open mind, sit back and enjoy cause Rock'n'Roll Frankenstein is a barrel o'fun. Editing and sound design are professionally done, the special make-up effects are pretty good (except for King's bald cap), and the entire film has a unique visual signature, with vivid colors and fun sets (Frankie's lab is a riot, complete with skulls, a robotic kangaroo and a Commodore 64!). Yes, it does have faults. The pace is uneven, I couldn't stand Jayson Spense's acting and some jokes not only fall flat; they make a really loud thud. But don't let that stop you from giving R&RF a look. At worst, it's a lesson on how to make low-budget films with good production values. At best, it's an amusing romp with thought-provoking sequences.

The EI/Shock-O-Rama DVD edition boasts a nice full frame transfer (the original ratio of the film), and includes a commentary track by director Brian O'Hara, actors Graig Guggenheim and Hiram Jacob Segarra, and the director of photography Jay Hillman. There's also the theatrical trailer (R&RF was never released theatrically in the USA, but was shown in several festivals - even some in Brazil!), a music video, the audio tracks "Lectro Shock" and "I'm a Monster", plus 22 minutes of behind the scenes stuff, also with commentary track. So stop being a righteous prick and give this film a chance, crognabbitt!




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#84901 - 02/10/05 03:08 PM Re: ROCK´N´ROLL FRANKENSTEIN (1999)
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Okay, Lide z metra (1974) is unattainable, as far as I can tell. Has it been released on video or DVD?

Valerie a týden divu (1970) sounds quite chilling -- an adult Alice In Wonderland. This should be fairly easy to find on Ebay or Amazon.

Rock N' Roll Frankenstein sounds like something Harry Knowles might recommend. I'm totally into those kinds of b-trash movies. Very cool. This should be easy enough to locate. Brian O'Hara, the director, also produced that porn documentary Prince of Porn, about adult film director Phil Prince aka Joseph Scarpelli. Prince directed the notorious Taming of Rebecca, along with a few other roughies from the 70's.

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#84902 - 02/11/05 04:32 AM Re: Mainstream DVD Review Thread
Toelicker Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
Quote:

Quote:

Check out Shaun of the Dead.Very cool movie all though the director rips off a lot of Guy Ritchie's moves.I give it .




Damn right Jeff a funny flick indeed




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#84903 - 02/15/05 09:27 AM The Ultimate Godzilla DVD Collection Posted on Feb
Smartt Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 5869
Loc: Instead of looking at the girl...



When I first heard of an "ULTIMATE" Godzilla box set - from SONY, no less! - I did my Jig of Joy and ran out to the nearest supermarket to buy soda pops, popcorn and lotsa butter. At last, a DVD collection worth having! Just like Columbia did with the old Jackie Chan catalog from Simitar, we would have restored & unadulterated Godzilla fare from the Showa period, uncut, untampered and full of extras! At last I could upgrade my old, out-of-print Simitar box set! Wheee! Happy happy happy, joy joy joy, and all that implies.

Then I saw the specs of the "new" set. All titles... in full-fucking-frame! The image quality is decent (not restored), but why not keep the original scope, like the Simitar releases? Trailers? Ferget it, sonny. Extras? Nussin´ but an ad for Atari Game Cube´s "Destroy All Monsters Melee", where Godzilla and ten other titans fight like Bruce Lee and Neo. Untampered? Try "with the same lame dubbing of yore, and lotsa minutes chopped". Ultimate? Ultimate my ass, chum!

Oh well, enough with the bitchin´, let´s get down to business and give you the lowdown of the flicks.

GODZILLA, KING OF THE MONSTERS (1954)
Yep, the one that started it all - but not "the original black and white classic starring Raymond Burr" as the back cover states, cuz the REAL Godzilla runs two minutes longer, is Perry-Masonless, and generally better. On the plus side, even the tampered version remains powerful from the very first frame, with an opening shot of Tokyo in shambles more impressive than Irwin Allen´s catastrophe flicks from the 70´s. In fact, one entering the theater without reading the opening credits could easily mistake this for a serious drama about the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki - at least until the part where ´Zilla makes his very first appearance as a glorious... glove puppet! The original Gojira plays more like a mystery than a monster movie. It starts in the vein of Disney´s 20.000 Leagues Under the Sea, with Japanese merchant ships in the Pacific being decimated by a weird radioactive glow from beneath the water. The only survivors soon die of radiation poisoning the culprit, of course, is a 50-meter tall dinosaur christened "Gojira" by the superstitious citizens from Odo Island. It´s up to a scientist named Dr. Serizawa to snuff the beast with his recently discovered Oxygen Destroyer - a weapon so dangerous, that the pacifist Serizawa will only use as a last resort and at a great cost. Caveat emptor: this is NOT the usual monster mash associated with Godzilla movies. Nope. This is a very serious sci-fi movie, produced by a country still scarred from the atomic bombing that happened only nine years earlier. The images of destruction are creepy and powerful because they show the effects of Big G not only on model buildings, but on the people as well. All this carnage is narrated by the journalist Steve Martin (Burr, in scenes shot by Terry Morse for the American version), and even if some people may hate the Americanization version, it gives a cool international tone for the disaster (during a scene in a press room, you can hear some journalists broadcasting the G-Menace in several languages, including, to my surprise, a perfect Brazilian Portuguese!).

RODAN (1956)
Although not directly related with the Godzilla franchise at the time (he would only meet the Big G in 1964´s Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster), Rodan is historical by two reasons: it was the first color kaiju eiga produced by Toho Studios, and the character became the blueprint for Mothra (who debuted in 1961 on a solo movie and THEN was incorporated into Godzilla´s lore). Ignore the shots of atomic bombings that kickstart the movie, spliced there by the American distributor to force connections with the Big G´s radioactive origins. In fact, Rodan´s "birth" owes more to The Lord of the Ring´s Balrog: when greedy miners dig too far and too deep, they unearth... a bunch of man-eating caterpillars! Of course, they're only there to serve as food for a bigger monster - in this case, a prehistoric pterodactyl that can fly at sonic speeds and cause hurricanes with his mighty wings. Oh, and he also has a MATE! The movie is excellent, creepy, explores ecological themes that would be later re-used in the Mothra franchise, and ends on an ironic note showing us that monsters aren´t that bad. But do yourself a favor and try to get the Japanese version, with an extra 8 minutes.

GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA (1964)
This one is more or less of a remake of the original Mothra, with Godzilla put in to add more, uh, "stomp". The movie starts with a giant egg appearing on the shores of Japan. A greedy businessman promptly purchases the egg to build a theme park around it and make lotsa money. Problem is, said egg belongs to the giant moth that rules Infant Island. At first, two pint-sized singing girls try to retrieve the egg with the help of a reporter, a photographer and a scientist. They fail, so Mothra herself decides to pay a visit to the Egg Theme Park. Problem is Godzilla also appears - and he wants an egg salad! Of all the Godzilla sequels, this is touted as one of the best, and with good reason: the story is cool, Mothra´s first appearance is iconic, and this may be one of the first (and only) Godzilla movies that´s actually LONGER in the American version - namely, during all the mentions of the Frontier Missile, in scenes shot at request of AIP to give it an international feel.

GODZILLA´S REVENGE (1969)
Oy vey, this one IS silly. It´s Godzilla in the way of Sid and Marty "H.R. Puff´n´Stuff" Kroft, and one of the lamest entries of the Showa period. But, somehow, children love it - mainly because it puts together an ungodly amount of monsters in stock footage (Ebirah, Gabara, Anguirus, Gorosaurus, Kamacuras, Kumonga and even Manda!), a kid named Ichiro, AND a friendly monster who resembles a talidomide version of Baby Sinclair from the Dinosaurs TV series. It´s Minya (or Minilla), ´Zilla´s son, and guess what… he TALKS! While Ishiro has troubles with his schoolmates (maybe for basically being a sissy who talks about Monster Island all the time, instead of giving some love to the cute girl who´s obviously smitten with him), Minilla is also being bullied by Gabarah - kind of a scaly version of Nelson Muntz. With the help of Godzilla, Ishiro and Minilla overcome their fears. Minilla kicks Gabarah´s tail, and Ishiro… uh… he single-handedly defeats two stupid bank robbers who act like Abbot and Costello after a lobotomy. Hey, I SAID this one was silly, didn´t I?

TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA (1975)
And then there´s the classic Terror of Mechagodzilla - a.k.a. the one with the most convoluted plot ever (second only to the time-travel hijinks of 1998´s Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah). This one mixes a mad professor embittered with humanity, his cyborg daughter (you can tell she´s a robot cause she never blinks - and you thought Spielberg was smart in A.I., eh?), space invaders who dress like Esper and wants to rule the world with the help of a meanie called Titanosaurus, and, of course, the robotic title character. The American version chops off four minutes of plot that explains a major character's sacrifice, but hey, by then we should already be used to that! But at least there's lots of exciting fight scenes, and it's a fitting end to the Showa period.

Now let's sit and wait for a REAL Ultimate Collection of our favorite giant lizard, cause this one is just a false alarm.

Note: Each title in the set is available individually except for the Rodan disc. Rodan is exclusive to this Box Set and this marks the films first appearance on DVD as well.


Attachments
80392-alyasbatman02story.jpg (2 downloads)


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#84904 - 02/15/05 05:19 PM Re: The Ultimate Godzilla DVD Collection Posted on
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
Now we are talking- I almost bought that thing for the same reason to get rid of my crappy versions- then I went online and read the reviews and saved my money. Good review dude. FYI these new versions that tristar i think is putting out are great if you didn't already know. The only one i need now is Godzilla vs Sea monster that just came out.
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#84905 - 02/15/05 07:31 PM Hotel Rwanda
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo


I went to see this movie when it premiered at the Toronto Film Festival last year (at the time it had a very limited distribution).
5 months later the film was just distributed wide. The advance DVD copy came out last month (very few extras blah blah).
If you haven't watched it yet, it's better you don't admit it here...because this is probably the best movie of the year. The only way this was going to get beat was if Miike made Izo amazing...and that was just mehh...so heres the winner.


Attachments
80453-poster_l.jpg (1 downloads)



Edited by loopnode (02/15/05 07:32 PM)
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#84906 - 02/15/05 08:28 PM Re: Hotel Rwanda
Jamie L. Brian Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 483
Quote:



I went to see this movie when it premiered at the Toronto Film Festival last year (at the time it had a very limited distribution).
5 months later the film was just distributed wide. The advance DVD copy came out last month (very few extras blah blah).
If you haven't watched it yet, it's better you don't admit it here...because this is probably the best movie of the year. The only way this was going to get beat was if Miike made Izo amazing...and that was just mehh...so heres the winner.






Of all the Oscar contenders, this is probably the one I want to see most. I hear this movie has the Schindler's List kind of effect on you. It's hard to watch, but you feel better because you did.

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#84907 - 02/15/05 10:00 PM Re: Hotel Rwanda
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
Quote:


Of all the Oscar contenders, this is probably the one I want to see most. I hear this movie has the Schindler's List kind of effect on you. It's hard to watch, but you feel better because you did.




Definately fscking brilliant. The whole fscking cast is brilliant.
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#84908 - 02/16/05 06:21 PM Killer Nerd/Bride Of Killer Nerd Double Feature
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo


Whoa! thats just all i gotta say. Killer Nerd is one deadly movie (and i mean that in a bloody way).
Harold Kunkle is tired of being called a nerd and being abused by people that are better than him. He is tired of being ridiculed by 9 year old girls who call him "nerd" repetively. But this time they have pushed him too far. They have driven him to the point of no-return (if there really is such a point) causing him to seek revenge on his tormentors in the bloodiest, cheesiest ways possible (imagine being attacked by a nerd wearing a diaper).
A double dose of this pocket-protecting, uber-geek, gore-fest idiocracy is just the kind of crap that makes a bad movie good. And believe me...this is terrible (in a good way).


Attachments
80598-B00020HAI8.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg (2 downloads)



Edited by loopnode (02/16/05 06:22 PM)
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#84909 - 02/16/05 06:23 PM Re: Hotel Rwanda
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
I found another dvd I would like to recommend: City of God
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317248/
It is a brazilian movie about the poor street kids of a certain area in brazil and takes multifacet approach to telling it's story by telling the stories of different characters and how their lives connect. Very entertaining flick for those who don't mind subtitles ( may even have a dubbed track on dvd but i didn't use it). I know it has been out for a while but i just felt like watching it a couple nights ago, I now wish i had watched it sooner.
_________________________
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#84910 - 02/16/05 06:24 PM Re: Hotel Rwanda
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
I found another dvd I would like to recommend: City of God
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317248/
It is a Brazilian movie about the poor street kids of a certain area in brazil and takes multifaceted approach to telling it's story by telling the stories of different characters and how their lives connect. Very entertaining flick for those who don't mind subtitles ( may even have a dubbed track on dvd but i didn't use it). I know it has been out for a while but i just felt like watching it a couple nights ago, I now wish i had watched it sooner.
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#84911 - 02/16/05 07:03 PM City of God
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
yeah good flick. made waves when it came out. Fernando Meirelles was filming in Kenya during the summer (in a slum area nontheless near Nairobi).

On a totally different note: the whores in Kenya are so cheap. I went to a (strip?) club called Florida 2000 with some of the crew and we got hit on by every whore in the place. There was no sign indicating this was a strip club but once inside there was no doubt it wasn't one either. Some of the punters seemed a little too excited, others were dodgy; definately not the place to be riding whores bareback. Still loved it.

Now back to movie reviews...
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#84912 - 02/16/05 08:17 PM Re: City of God
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
Loop, do you know anything else he made that is as good as City?
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#84913 - 02/16/05 08:57 PM Re: City of God
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
Quote:

Loop, do you know anything else he made that is as good as City?




I watched just one episode of City of Men. It's like a series that focuses on the characters in City of God. It looked pretty interesting...but I thought the movie was good enuff and they could just stop at that.
Anyhoo..it was shown in the .UK on ITV's Carlton and its now available on DVD. Unfortunately no subtitles in English or extra audio track. However, if you ask Smartt nicely, he might be able to give you a VCD with fansubs

DVD available here






Attachments
80614-7891430001490.jpg (4 downloads)



Edited by loopnode (02/16/05 08:59 PM)
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#84914 - 02/17/05 08:03 AM Re: City of God
Toelicker Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
What is city of god about? Any good violence, or sex? Brazilian tranny worship?

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#84915 - 02/17/05 11:32 AM Re: City of God
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
Toe, there is lots of gangsta street violence in the flick not much if any sex and no trannies that i could tell
I think it was based in some part in truth about this area in brazil- and is very entertaining. I don't think i hit the ff button once. It is about poor kids and what they have to or feel they have to do to survive.

Smartt- what is the story behind this flick? Is it mostly true?
_________________________
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#84916 - 02/17/05 11:55 AM Re: City of God
Smartt Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 5869
Loc: Instead of looking at the girl...
Quote:

Smartt- what is the story behind this flick? Is it mostly true?




Mostly.


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#84917 - 02/17/05 12:13 PM Re: City of God
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
Did the gangs come back after those two offed one another or was there a brief respite? You bastards are too catholic- there needs to be more birth control. I thought this country was bad with over poplulation vs. economic stability.
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