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#84426 - 02/03/05 02:40 PM
Cage Alumni #001: Bur
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Human Garbage
Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 1683
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Garfield's diva fit made me think: whatever happened to some other xxxporntalk cult legends? We all remember Swami and Sammura, but what about our more obscure folk heroes? So for the benefit of the Club Jenna posters, I will take the time to introduce you to our cultural ecosystem. Because like all drunktanks, it's really about the people, isn't it? Cage Alumni #001: Bur We all remember Bur. He broke onto the scene in September 2004 with his plea for help: Kidnapped by Meth and Porn. (At least we think it was September...) Quote:
I have been reading the rants on this forum for several months now. I am just now posting because I have not walked out of my apartment since Oct. 10. I realized yesterday that it has been over two weeks now. In these two weeks almost every electrical appliance in my place has been turned off. The refrigerator was making me panic. The only things turned on have been the computer and television. I have had the same twelve DVD's playing in constant rotation. As I stated, I realized that I will have to walk over to the office in five days to pay the rent. This is my first step in confronting the outside world. Anyone reading this will probably be disgusted, and that is fine, because this post is not for sympathy. This is for myself; my therapy. If I do not return to reality soon, my trip to the office to simply hand a money order to the human beings, I fear may not go well. Right now is the time for me to confront myself and my current situation. Physically, it is apparent that I have consumed nothing but distilled water, skim milk, bananas, lima beans, methamphetamine, and wheat grass for quite a long period of time now. My throat is clear from talking to Gauge and Kitty on the television screen. The next thing I must do is cleanse my self,primarily, my face. Though, the most complicated step other than exposing this to the public(even this public)is getting past that peephole in my door. I have spent hours staring at this forum, the television screen, and through that peephole. That peephole is my biggest challenge. This is a screen,that television is a screen, but it is actual human bodies on the other side of that door. This is good; I am feeling more secure now that I am exposing in print. I may continue later. I thank you forum!
And we were proud to help with such suggestions as "even thinking about tweakers doing weird shit is funny" and "If I could make a recommendation: heroin."
Predictably, our resident meth tweaker vanished for several months, presumably creating a pixel-by-pixel recreation of Gauge's left eye in macramae. Yet... He returned!
Quote:
Who is pariah?
(Actually, I think Jenna asked that too. Bur = Jenna?)
Bur's mystery post became clear: he was still in his apartment, still tweaked out of his mind and having another paranoid delusion:
Quote:
I have not masturbated in several months. Gauge and Kitty do not distract me anymore. The poison is no longer numbing me. I have slowed down because no matter how fast I run, the memories keep tapping me on my shoulder. I have learned this week that my family is trying to locate me. I am ready. I need help. Help I will not give myself. The poison is literally killing me. I have to stop right now. I have not seen a physician in over four years now. I have been denying that there is a problem. It is December 22 2004. It is time to face it. I know you are reading this lo. We have poisoned ourselves for too long. I am going to let them find me today. They are going to help me. When I find out what is happening out there, I am coming to you. I am only helping us. Heroin and methamphetamine is poison. We have to work this out l. We can not help others if we can not help ourselves. Just remember, those children are dying of starvation and disease. What else matters?
Bur came clean:
Quote:
Wish it was a joke. I do not know if you guys understand what drugs can and will do to a person. Kidnapped... was about getting rent payment to office. An in home mail order took off for me some time ago, which brought in substantial amounts of cash, in turn a dangerous amount of drugs. This is the only place I feel safe posting. Talking about it helps. Also I relay messages to and from a long time friend far away who is in the same position as me. The purpose of this post was to tell someone my family is coming to take me home. I will be forced to stop completely and regain life I wasted for many years. The motivation for all this being the "holidays". Anyway. most people here are sympathetic. Except for some including the one guy who pm'd urging me to take more "dope." I sincerely thank you.
And that was the last we ever heard of him. Now he's just another cage alumni, a ghost stalking the fringes of society. Sad.
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#84428 - 02/03/05 03:24 PM
Re: Cage Alumni #001: Bur
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Arab that took some effort to put together. It was time well spent friend. Please make it billable to the chickee you mentioned a week or so back! Great stuff 
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#84429 - 02/03/05 04:45 PM
Re: Cage Alumni #001: Bur
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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i miss sammura. I think it would be interesting to see if any of jenna's fan boys would jump ship and form a new sammura fan boy club. It would make this cage great and would give sammura the moral support she has been seeking.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#84430 - 02/03/05 05:28 PM
Re: Cage Alumni #001: Bur
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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One of them would slip in the word colored and she would turn on them- it would never last as a fanclub
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#84431 - 02/03/05 09:05 PM
Re: Cage Alumni #001: Bur
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Whoremaster
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 2742
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#84433 - 02/04/05 07:32 AM
Re: Cage Alumni #001: Bur
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i'll be mr. revisionist. i did that a few weeks ago---get this. it wasn't monkey who started it all. it was the guy named "lowdown" who called her unnattractive through people like longshot's ass-kissing. she flipped and the rest is history.
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"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#84436 - 12/22/05 07:17 AM
Re: Cage Alumni #001: Bur
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
It's history, it's the tale of the tribe.
Take these, add the part about Gypsy, and our wampum beads will be pretty much up to date.
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#84437 - 05/21/06 07:13 PM
Re: Cage Alumni #001: Bur
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 12/09/05
Posts: 1291
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i love bur, some of the funniest stuff i've read here. i'm gonna go bump his original thread too.
by the way, anyone heard from the arab?
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