Intensities in Ten Cities
Directed by Brandon Iron
Platinum X
Well, if you’re gonna cop the mighty Nuge for a title, than you had better rock, and this one sure the hell does. Brandon Iron and his gang of merry men (and their flashlight-sized penises) take a whirlwind tour of 10 different cities worldwide, and they find at least one nubile hottie to desecrate in every one. I musta missed this brochure last time I was down at the travel agency.

First stop is in the good ‘ol USA, in Hollywood, where the boys chance upon the impossibly cute 18 year old Kinzie Kenner. After some brief hijinx with Tom Hanks’ handprints, they retire to a cozy little spot where Kenner dons a bitchin’ American flag bikini and Frenchie Manuel Ferrera takes full advantage of her Yankee hospitality. Adding to the international flavor, Britslut Flick Shagwell shows up outta nowhere, and they have a torrid little threesome, ending with an upside down Kenner getting UK and French flags stuffed into her pink pussy. “Damn”, she says, “I’ve been taken over!” This chick rocks.

Next up, Prague, where a passing trolley has a big “Dracula” sign on it. There we meet pretty Victoria and horsey Julie Silver (who claims to have the best ass in Prague). “We go make sex now, yah?” Well, yah. Sweaty, action-packed blonde-on-blonde, ass licking mayhem ensues.

Skinny, supermodel-gone-wrong Nikki Blond fucks some cat named Frank in Budapest, after a wind-blown history lesson of the city on a balcony high above the skyline. Ok, so I didn’t learn much, but Nikki’s lithe, angular body was certainly worth the trip.

Delinquent schoolgirl Kat has a greasy three-way in Surrey, England, before we are whisked off to Brussels, where Steve Holmes and Claudio Meloni work over the stunning raven-haired beauty Jennifer Dark. Ok, so her ‘moans of passion’ sound a little too much like a kitten being strangled, but her ass is amazing. A highlight, for sure. In Hamburg, Claudio suggests that they go fuck his 87 year old grandmother, but they settle on a leggy stripper in a crazy silver get-up named Annette. She has a very nasty scene with Claudio in what looks like a condemned apartment house. Next up, Las Vegas, where we meet up with short-haired, baby-faced Missy, but personally, she looks a little too much like a retarded Hanson brother for my tastes, so I’m just gonna nap on the bus until the next city.

On to London, where Claudio takes on the gap-toothed Bev Cocks. Bev’s got a regrettable mug on her, but fantastic fake tits, so if you just concentrate on the neck down, it’s a real party. Then it's back to the USA, San Fran in particular, where gangly hippy girl Julia has a truly righteous extended anal scene and her tattooed lover boy sweats buckets like a crack fiend. The guy cums like a fuckin’ cannon, too. This one’s the show-stopper, for sure. Wendy James para-sails in Maui, then comes crashing down to earth for a little (literal) sex on the beach. “How’s it feel to suck my dick in Maui?” Mr. Iron asks. “Makka-lakka Tikki Takki”, Wendy answers. Which I think means ‘good’.

The trip ends on a high note, back in the lap of luxury that is LA, for another quick round of Kinzie Kenner. She gets a face-full of goo, and even through the glaze, she still looks great.

I swear, this is the best vacation video I’ve ever seen. Classic.

-Sleazegrinder