A few months ago, Monkey charged me to hire a team of experts and management consultants to sample the last eight months of the cage. Their report is still forthcoming but I was given the executive summary with their conclusions.

The next step in the Monkey Cage's evolution is this: we have to form a religious cult. I mean speaking in tongues, venality and moral degeneracy by the clergy, and maybe even a little grevious bodily harm for any who don't like the new dynamic. You hear that jrv?

Like I said, I don't have the full report but if anyone has some feedback on questions of doctrine or other practices they should probably chip in now. To kick things off, if you give the wrong response you will be tied to a radiator for four days in utter darkness while an infinite loop of Ashlee Simpson singing at the Orange Bowl snaps your tenuous grip on reality. But, like I said, feel free to brainstorm.

Yep, i came to that conclusion a few weeks back too. I feel limited here and with the numbers of adt like posters on the rise in the cage im getting the same feeling da burglar was complaining of, maybe a randi wright monkey cage, or perhaps a hostile take over of lukeford.com as a new format to spread the word. Just some thoughts.

Email Fayner with the link to that post from Bornyo, Burglar and I. We're all willing to put up some money to get that diseased hobo a new shopping cart with a broken wheel and end the reign of boredom at lukeford.com.

Randi Wright... that has some possibilities. Agammemnon, she could be our Cassandra, with the insane babble out of her mouth our prophecy. "What? Green M&Ms make you pregnant? And blue ones make you miscarry? Cult followers, bring us the head of the heirs to the Mars family fortune." That of course is a supremely lame example but you see where I'm going with this. She could be the Earth Mother/Jezebel that we keep locked in cabinet and roll out whenever we need more martyrs.

She has been AWOL since that guy linked her escort stuff on the message board. So has her sort of weird sister that she sometimes sleeps with.

how could you forget me? assuming hoarding weapons and training followers with targets of the smartt picture i'm game.

We didn't james, we just have to find an angle to dupe rich morons out of their money, maybe take a page from the terrorist mastermind school of thought 101, offering lots of virgins in the afterlife seems to be all the rage these days, could be a starting point.

Can we pattern it after the Thugee they have nifty tools of the trade

Does this cult include the deviant probing of hairy fat chicks? If so, count me in. I'll bring tea, Hydroxycut, and razors.

LOL

I'm looking for kind of a Manson thing, where I get blow jobs and kill people.

If he dies , he dies. We need to sign dolph lundgren to be the face of this cult.

Bridgete Nielson would be a better choice- what with her interest in Flava flav and all

Fuck you jrv, FUCK YOU. Seriously just stay at adt, you don't even like this board, you don't like the posters, you don't like the topics and you don't like the talent here, so go the way of the garfield and fuck offffffffff

No mercy for the Kafir

I'll join as long as we don't have to do a mass suicide at the end.

Quote:

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I'll join as long as we don't have to do a mass suicide at the end.

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Sorry, no dice, we all have to wear jm shirts so when we all kill ourselves they get great promo time out of it, good news is we all get 64 virgins in the after life, bad news they all have kyoto's face and ohh yeah, we have to kill ourselves.