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Observe the protective footwear Melissa is wearing in case the "midnight pisser" has split-stream-syndrome.

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Now that's a good whore.

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I mean, if I was Park Ranger in Wyoming beating off to Dr Quinn Medicine Woman I might be turned on, but workboots really dont get me there......

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Well, no shit they're not really sexy, but neither is stale dried urine on the bottom of her feet.