Sometimes I wonder if steering some of my clients into the porn industry would help them. It's Tuesday morning, another 5:00 am call, this time domestic disturbance. I swear, put on a shirt and coat and make it over by six, and my client--friend of a friend who has my name written as the only entry in her PalmPilot under "lawyers"--has a black eye and bruises already showing in her arm.

Her boyfriend? About 22 years old, unemployable musician, works in a gay club, looks gay, acts gay, actually puts--I'm really not shitting you on this--actually puts something called "Mint Julep Masque" on his face to give himthelf that healthy, thexthy glow.

I'm going over everything we'll have to do to get a restraining order, plus a nuissance lawsuit she wants to file over damages to her condo, and I'm thinking: this is like being a porn whore without fucking anybody. She's already got the parasites, drug habit, alcoholism, etc. etc.

Is it in my interest to steer this wealthy but broken soul into the porn industry? She's half East Indian and half White, and has a killer body.

That's the easiest poll that has ever been posted to this forum.

ho ing her may be the only way youll see any money

Did she give good head

It gets better. I had to pay another visit a few hours ago when Mr. Exfoliation showed up with the cops and demanded enterence. As a side note: I hate cops. Generally. It's the usual business: they know what your rights are, they just know they aren't paid (and, actually, it makes their job much more difficult) to inform you of them.

So Arab whips out the polaroids of the bruised arm. Mr. Exfoliation then says that he hurt his finger, too, but "I don't want to press charges." At this point the cops began laughing hysterically, I expect they haven't had this much fun since they worked Domestic Disturbance in Boystown and had to break up tug-of-wars over pink feather boas. No admittance. It turns out he spent the night wandering the street and probably spent his last 10 bucks on a bump of meth. I'm generally of the opinion that the gub'mint should be spiking that shit with arsenic in their efforts at urban beautification, but does anyone read my letters to the city council or the NSC, noooo....

Speaking of getting paid, though, she's rich, or her father is. He's one of those semi-shady Indians that own enormous conglomerates in Asia that run warehouses, handle distributing for American multinationals and also sell the little paper cups that street vendors peddle octopus in. So yeah, I'll get paid, it's just that I'd rather sit on my ass writing insane motions without a prayer of being granted by the court than doing all this freelancing nonsense for friends of friends.

Wow, someone voted no!

well if your already getting paud why would porn need one more cry baby meth head who can't take a hit.

The whore is ready for a career in porn.Trust me,if I've seen it once I've seen it a thousand times chicks like this make bad life decisions over and over again.Her life wont be complete until shes sucking strange cock and eating cum on video.This is her destiny.

Arab, keep your pimp hand strong!

You should read some Iceberg Slim for inspiration. Buy this.