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She was kind of nervous about posting here, so I said that I would take care of it.

After a whirlwind courtship, Nicole and I are taking the big leap. Yep, we're getting married, this weekend back in my ancestral land where the men are men and women know enough to walk ten steps behind them.

I know after the acidic comments I had to make, this might come as a shock to some people. It was a shock to me. I'm telling you, I remembered the blonde pretty clearly from when I visited Vanderbilt a few years ago, even though it was kind of dark and I didn't see much besides the top of her head and the blur of her lips. I even thought about her a few times. Anyhoo, a few hours and a blood test later, I found out that there's a Smiling Arab Jr. out there and I felt it my obligation to post bail for his mommy.

It was kind of romantic, actually, if you forget about the crack addict with the oozing abcess where his nose should have been. Man, Fayner is looking bad these days. Anyway, we had some paperwork to take care of down at the lock-up. It was there that I popped the big question. And after she gargled down some scope and washed it off her face, I decided that the honorable thing to do was to make an honest woman out of her. I know that will be a new experience for her, too.

So I just wanted to give you guys the news. And if things don't work out, blonds fetch six figures on the white slave trade market, so I'll get my money's worth one way or another.

Nicole, I love you baby!

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Did you ever laugh so hard you blew snot all over your keyboard??? Of course I have had the flu.... but still...this is one of the funniest posts I have read since I've been coming here.





In keeping with the spirit of abject "Adult Industry" redundancy and self indulgence/validation, we should have an XPT awards "thing" for the best posts/threads/posters. Jeff, Monkey and Kami can come up with the Categories and appoint Judges.

Example: Best "Proof Wankus is a an Idiot" Thread/Post
Best "Wankus sucks cock because Wankus does, in fact, Suck Cock" Thread/post

Best "Wankus/Kurt Lockwood/Brandon Iron Love Triangle Exposed" Thread / post etc.