i feel some revulsion quoting myself, but it was fleeting--most prophetic statement of three days ago is......"i realized i don't even have the ability to think about the possibility of monkey as a person sitting at his computer anymore--just the monkey and the bat grinning like some thyrsus-wielding/pan-ish leader of porn mischeif. "at this point, you're a nobody in porn until you have to come here and deny something just plausible enough you can't ignore it "