you might as well make them tick loudly, as a constant reminder that they're ten years older than the new girls and entropy affects porn chicks in a different way than the rest of us.

jewel denyle's so far gone it's impossible to imagine her ever having been attractive or anything other than the piano-legged porky-italian woman who files stuff in city hall that she is now.

jenna never did shit for me, but she's hard to really hate for some reason. but when she's totally irrelevant after the surgery stops fooling anyone, you think jenna's gonna be happy to have bought those lambos? are they taking odds in london on the over/under on her mc-hammer-style financial flameout?

tick-tock ladies, it's all downhill from here, and it's fast and ugly. here's your yugo, it must suck to know you'll have been nothing to anyone for a decade when you're 40.