For crying out loud...Gen, why don't you just admit you're in love with me?

Jeez...

It's pretty obvious.

Yeah, I came in to see what you all wrote. Is there a crime in that? It's interesting to me that you love me so much that you actually checked the log activity. Damn.

As for my proper grammar, I guess that comes from teaching College English. I think bad grammar does deserve editing, and yes, I do happen to edit my posts.

It's pretty obvious that none of you actually want me to go away. However, I really don't see much point in arguing any more.

I took a look at a picture of Gen today.

You're actually pretty attractive, Gen.

I still wouldn't touch you without a full panel test, won't pay you for sex, and aren't particularly interested in saving you. You're too far gone for help, I think.

Plus, you're still just another tool in the toolbox of all these dorks. You could be so much more than that, yet you still want to associate yourself with people who enjoy talking about the latest girl who tried to kill herself, or how some girl who had a nervous breakdown on a set didn't show up for a bukkake.

What does that say about you, that you consider these people your friends?

Your anger at me isn't really anger at all.

It's a test.

You would like to know there's a guy out there who really is a good person, and really isn't full of shit. That's why you're stalking me by looking at the log sheets, and won't let it go. You want to break me down to the level of all these other dorks, but I just won't go.

The girl I knew tried to do that, too, Gen. It didn't work for her, either. She tried to get me to cheat on my wife, she tried to get me to contradict myself. She failed.

In fact, she sat on my lap, kissed me for an hour, while my wife was asleep upstairs. I'm allowed to kiss, but not allowed to go further than that with any girl we get together with, without my wife. I stuck to my promise to my wife, and it drove the girl nuts. In fact, I even did a shoot with her, in our bedroom, while my wife was at work, and didn't touch her, except for a kiss at the end. We also called my wife in the middle of the shoot, to say hello. That's the kind of guy I am. I tell my wife everything, and am honest to a fault. It blew that girl's mind that I wouldn't make a move on her, as she was lying there on our bed, in the white lace bra panties and thigh high outfit I had bought for her. Literally. In some way, I'm probably partially responsible for her venture into porn. Partially, she's doing it to get me back. It's the kind of thing girls do when they lose for the first time in their lives.

That's why she called me, after not talking to me for two months, to announce her stage name, the movie she was in, and ask if I wanted to 'hang out'. She wanted revenge.

The only revenge she's getting, however, is on herself.

The life she's leading, just like the life you're leading, dear Gen, is similar to Russian Roullete. One day, the bullet will be in the chamber, and the odds won't be on her side.

The two of you are amazingly alike.

You both want to conquer me.

Yet, when called out, Gen, you chicken out of actually meeting me. Shit, this whole fucking board would pay good money to see that, but you're too chickenshit to go through with it.

So, what's the point?

I was thinking about emailing you to tell you all this, but I'm not sure I can trust you. I don't particularly want my email address spammed on this board, so all these jerks can try to send me viruses.

There really isn't much point in going around and around on this with you if you're too chickenshit to meet, or talk on the phone.

If you want my help, or my friendship, you also need to prove you are actually you. For all we know, Gen, it's your boyfriend that's writing all this shit, and all of us are just idiots for beleiving him.

So, this is my question to you, Gen...

If I email you, will you act responsibly with my address, or will you do what I think you will?

I'd love to be wrong about someone, for a change.

I think I know what you'll do.

If this game is going to continue, it's going to have to go to the next level. I'm not going to waste my valuable time and big brain on possibly talking to some promotion person for Gen Padova.

If you want my friendship, which it's apparent to all that you do...you're going to have to give, Gen.

Shit, some guy was even asking if I was you're boyfriend.

Nah, I'm not her boyfriend.

...not just yet.

This relationship that you apparently want to continue depends upon your very next post.

If you let your emotions take over, and say something nasty, I swear- that's it. I only came back in here for you. However, if you say something nice, and promise me you won't act like a dork- I'll email you.

There are very few people in this world actually worth knowing, Gen. I happen to be one of those people. I'd say this: Don't screw this up...because...

I may be telling the truth.

Ball in your court, Gen.

Ball in your court.

The Outsider