ChickenMaster, picture it, then scour your brain and synapses with Lysol:

This guy goes out one day, with the expressed purpose of buying a porn chica he doesn't know a present. He's wracked by doubts. What should I get her? What would she like? What kind of gift says "ADT Poster/Dangerous Stalker"?

Then he hits upon it. Of course! A fucking wristwatch! Then, when I take my winter vacation from the post office to go to AEE, I can present her with it in person!

What I wouldn't give to see this guy, face aglow with the nimbus of the religious and the stupid, handing over this precious gift to his favorite porn starlet. With one simple request: Could you wear it one of your scenes? For me?

James, I don't think that's draconian enough to just make them pick up drycleaning. Frankly, efficiency in the American economy is on the skids and we would benefit greatly from a mobile force of industrial slaves. Some dumb bastards wanted universal suffrage, equal rights for all, blah blah blah, and this is the end result of it.

I feel the intense need to go take a shower in rock salt. Think I'll go do that, yes.