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#76882 - 12/30/04 07:01 PM
Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Just got an email from garfield, he's non porn girlfriend doesn't let him post here anymore, she is anti porn so he can't perform or post in any porn forum. Funny and sad, hopefully he dumps the bitch and we can enjoy the garfield of old.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#76884 - 12/31/04 07:31 AM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Really, Monkey? I heard he retired for umm, health reasons.
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#76887 - 01/01/05 12:56 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Yep, its true. He has his nuts in some roided up chick's vagina vice.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#76888 - 01/01/05 05:07 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 931
Loc: United States
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WRONG....jerkoff...I was away for the holidays...damn Monkey can not go 1 day w/o Me posting 
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PORN.....I love this stuff
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#76889 - 01/01/05 05:38 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Well i sent an email to pissoff@hotmail.com the email address you have under your profile here and thats what i got back.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#76895 - 01/03/05 07:34 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 931
Loc: United States
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WRONG...I tried to download a new one that did not upload corectly 
_________________________
PORN.....I love this stuff
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#76899 - 01/03/05 08:31 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Demon Spawn
Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 3178
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Quote:
having 1 name is kinda legendary like *snip*, Smelly Monkey, *snip*
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#76900 - 01/03/05 08:37 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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#76901 - 01/27/05 04:38 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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it was funny then and its funny now, garfield being pussy whipped.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#76902 - 01/27/05 04:46 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
WRONG...I tried to download a new one that did not upload corectly
Hey ya'll lay off. Garfield is very sensitive about what's said about him here. I know this.
Baybeeeee you were born to runnnnnn
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#76903 - 01/27/05 04:58 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 931
Loc: United States
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#76905 - 01/27/05 05:04 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Whoremaster
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 2742
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#76906 - 01/27/05 05:23 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 931
Loc: United States
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no assholes 
_________________________
PORN.....I love this stuff
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#76907 - 01/27/05 05:32 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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#76908 - 01/27/05 06:51 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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xxxpt has almost made me totally lose it in public a few times, the most insidious way it's gotten to me is with cabbies-i can't get the words "I MAKE SHIT IN YOUR MOTHER"S PUSSY! HAHAHA!" out of my mind. every guy in karate movies is kyoto. i expect every militantly afrocentric guy to start threatening to kill arianna joli like hisexcellency, black women who can gesture wildly while moving thier head horizontally on daytime television shows are sammura. guido sarducci is ruined and i'm repulsed by any mention of hispanic and latin cultures and people thanks to smartt.
that's actually cool as shit that boring things are now funny. i should get a secretary though. if i can't find a hot one, i'll just hire a tranny and whip darts at its head when it lets its gaurd down.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#76909 - 01/27/05 07:25 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Whoremaster
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 2742
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#76911 - 01/27/05 07:37 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i think my dad would be homeless without secrataries and suckup interns. he doesn't lose keys, he loses cars every year or so. i could use one to pick up the adhd meds i put in my pocket to take later and somehow end up lost in a hansel/gretel-style trail. it's a good job if anyone wants it, i don't work and you'll get free amphetamines that i never end up taking.
i'm fascinated by bornyo's uncharacteristic total intolerance for random people. he's generally calm and well-spoken and sounds like a responsible father---then POW! banned from adt in sub-5 posts or telling garfield he should die. it seems like his nature has a lot in common with a healthy brown bear=generally won't bother people but is totally unpredictable and can become dangerous instantly and inexplicably.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#76912 - 01/28/05 01:10 AM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
xxxpt has almost made me totally lose it in public a few times, the most insidious way it's gotten to me is with cabbies-i can't get the words "I MAKE SHIT IN YOUR MOTHER"S PUSSY! HAHAHA!" out of my mind.
I'm up early cause I go under the knife a little later this morning. I'm afraid of which excellency quote may come out of my mouth under the twilight drugs. Really. Imagine going in for an outpatient procedure and waking up in a straitjacket.
On the bright side, if I make it there's lortab and vicodin for all later tonight.
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#76913 - 01/28/05 01:44 AM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Whoremaster
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 2742
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Bornyo I have had three surgeries, once i told my dentist i loved him and wanted to fuck him in front of the whole office and on the last one i cried hysterically and told the office i was gonna have cancer for sure and go to hell because i was a whore, Im guessing they have heard it all!
If you quote excellency i sure hope you get the right recovery nurses or no more Bornyo!
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#76914 - 01/28/05 01:46 AM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Whoremaster
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 2742
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Quote:
i could use one to pick up the adhd meds i put in my pocket to take later and somehow end up lost in a hansel/gretel-style trail.i don't work and you'll get free amphetamines that i never end up taking.
Im so down for this job
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#76915 - 01/28/05 02:17 AM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
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What exactly was the content of Bornyo's adt banning post? I missed it, and now it's removed.
_________________________
you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn
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#76917 - 01/28/05 11:31 AM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
Quote:
xxxpt has almost made me totally lose it in public a few times, the most insidious way it's gotten to me is with cabbies-i can't get the words "I MAKE SHIT IN YOUR MOTHER"S PUSSY! HAHAHA!" out of my mind.
I'm up early cause I go under the knife a little later this morning. I'm afraid of which excellency quote may come out of my mouth under the twilight drugs. Really. Imagine going in for an outpatient procedure and waking up in a straitjacket.
On the bright side, if I make it there's lortab and vicodin for all later tonight.
Vicoprofen is better...instead of the acetamenophen, it contains ibuprofen, which is easier on the liver...but if u take too much u could bleed to death....wait, I just chased my tail with that drug advice tidbit....fuck, I need a joint, it's only 1:45 pm, and the office is still full...I could let them go home early, but they will know why I am doing that, and want to stay and consume my stash.
Bornyo, fuck the scripts and score some heroin on the way home from the hospital and rent Gus Van Sant's "Drugstore Cowboy" from 1989..... 
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Are you gonna eat that?
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#76918 - 01/28/05 11:47 AM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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It was just oral surgery, and all they prescribed was lortab. I did waste three or four minutes of nitrous because I didn't know it was turned on. When the doc came in I asked if I was supposed to be breathing through it. Well, 45 seconds later they put me out with the IV, so that was a waste of a good buzz. If I said anything bad they didn't tell me.
Thanks for the info on lortab ingredients, I didn't know it contained acetamenophen. I'll put this bottle of pills away and ride this out with booze alone.
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#76919 - 01/28/05 12:00 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Whoremaster
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 2742
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#76920 - 01/28/05 12:26 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i think i explained the cold-water-extraction deal to get rid of the majority of APAP from pills. it's probably not necessary here but allows someone with a real tolerance to opiates to feel anything from hydrocodone and the like. hey, oxy's pure, glorious oxycodone so befriend as many md's with gambling debts past-due to the russian mafia.
tylenol sucks, but for the fayners who somehow see something in talking fast and not sleeping it's probably what they'd want in their painkilllers. if you're bent on a coke binge at his age you're doing yourself a favor popping an enteric aspirin that night. when your heart finally quits, loots and demands better public schools it'll come in handy. tylenol plays well with it but ibuprofen ruins the benefit.
thank you for tuning into another episode of :"harvard degenerates on drug use-live from a porno board" we hope you join us next week.
btw-great flick, it's scary to think heather graham did that 16 years ago. she'll be menopausal so soon-such is the fleeting nature of female hotness. i'm glad money exists.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#76922 - 01/28/05 01:00 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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dude, i feel like i'm looking at an old me.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#76923 - 01/28/05 01:46 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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I'm feeling no pain right now. I won't be cooking anything. After all the advice I've skipped my dose and switched to bourbon.
This is another typically hijacked thread. Sorry for my role in it. Then again, everything devolves to drugs and whores and a "Funny John Garfield Shit" thread should be no exception. BTW, thanks for the kind words Kami.
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#76924 - 01/28/05 01:54 PM
Re: Funny John Garfield Shit
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 951
Loc: IL
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John Garfield scrapes the mold off his balls and puts it on toast. It's called 'The Garfield Special'
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