Not just bold, baby, but italics too. I don't even have to click the Instant UBB Code--I got it memorized like that. Smooth. And I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue, juggle, and create artwork out of broken hubcaps and macaroni. I'm a renaissance man.

Totally unrelated to this, but you know who I met? Jacqueline Kim. Who's that? The notorious yuppie scum that wrote this missive. If she was anything to look at then, the years have not been kind to her.

Do women really talk like this?