if it's a joke, the person behind it is freakishly patient---remember the kidnapped by meth and porn post?

bur, if you're not kidding you should look into a place to dry out for a few days. find somewhere you're cool with and since you're going to spend most of the 4-5 days catching up on sleep do yourself a favor and choose a locked facility. the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be to get your friends, credit and life back.