After completing a leveraged buy-out, & filing my form 13-D with the Securities and Exchange Comission, I am now the proud owner of 51% of Caverject Co.
My first order of business is to appoint a new board of directors. I do hereby appoint Bishop as Secretary, Jamesn as Treasurer, and, Smelly Monkey as President. I of course, with great experience of running an investment banking firm into the ground in my mid 20's, and wiping out millions of my clients assets (true story)will rightfully serve as Chairman of the Board.I propose our first order of business as new management, will be to extort our male talent clients into paying us 99.99999% of their earnings, or we'll pull a B.A.L.C.O. on them, and expose them for the woodless, cheating, faggots that they are. I'll leave the topic of our next strategic move and meeting up to you gentlemen, as I have no interest (or skill) in running a company.
If you need me, I'll be slinging product to Euro-Fag black socks and sandles wearing German tourists at Hollywood and Highland, or busting doughnuts in my circa '86 Ferrari Testarossa in Mac Arthur Park, blasting the Miami Vice soundtrack with my afro slicked back with Astro Glide....

I did that once, got 5-10 but had a fucking ball and would do it again if the government ever allowed me near their money again.

Minutes of first Board Meeting.
Item # 1: I also propose in changing our name to mirror our bretheren sleazebag corporation B.A.L.C.O. to the new name B.L.A.C.O. (racial pun intended). Any other sugestions for a new moniker should be taken up with our Secretary, Bishop.
Item #2: All officers of the the B.L.A.C.O., Inc., formerly known as Caverject corporation will be required to sign eagh post with their appropriate title.
Item #3: Christmas /Chanuka / Kwanza is canceled. (I am an insecure, meglomaniac, Oedipus-complex pagan with .) Instead of greeting cards our employees will recieve "Self Serving Propaganda Cards"

Regards,
Tyler Knight
Chairmanwhore of the Board

Quote:

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Minutes of first Board Meeting.
Item # 1: I also propose in changing our name to mirror our bretheren sleazebag corporation B.A.L.C.O. to the new name B.L.A.C.O. (racial pun intended). Any other sugestions for a new moniker should be taken up with our Secretary, Bishop.
Item #2: All officers of the the B.L.A.C.O., Inc., formerly known as Caverject corporation will be required to sign eagh post with their appropriate title.
Item #3: Christmas /Chanuka / Kwanza is canceled. (I am an insecure, meglomaniac, Oedipus-complex pagan with .) Instead of greeting cards our employees will recieve "Self Serving Propaganda Cards"

Regards,
Tyler Knight
Chairmanwhore of the Board

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What role will sammura serve in this new company that is set to take the porn world by storm AND what time tommorrow do i show up for my scene with lauren phoenix?

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What role will sammura serve in this new company that is set to take the porn world by storm AND what time tommorrow do i show up for my scene with lauren phoenix?

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Interlnal Company Memo;
Actually Smelly Monkey, I went on another Caverject binge before my scene with the lovely Ms. Phoenix (aka the best goddamn female performer on the planet), and as you guessed, my proshetic penis has burst out of its skin.... again. Because it it now lodged in her fine specimine of an ass, your scene with her will be double anal.

Regards;
Tyler Knight
Chairman of the Horde

P.S. We need a really cool corporate slogan...

12.21.2004
B.L.A.C.O. Inc. Internal Memo.
(insert cool slogan here)
Re; Office Pool
As you know, I whloe heartedly support the vice of gambling on company time. Especially when it can lead to someone elses demise. I would like someone to establish an office pool as to who will blow a scene first when cut off from our product, and resort to selling oranges by the 405 for a living. The winner of the office pool will recieve the ofice/title of "Shit Wrapped In Skin".

Regards;
Tyler Knight
Male "Talent", and Transgenderchairman Of The Luke Ford
B.L.A.C.O Inc.

First let me proudly accept my appointment to the B.L.A.C.O Board.I'd like to report some exciting changes that will take place before we go all enron loot the joint,and jet off to the islands in search of Tyler's free-range-penis. (did i type that?shit!i meant to think it)We'll be developing new products and procedures that will allow anyone to be MALE TALENT!Look out for implants,pumps,rods and our upcomming Bionic Impaler (tm.pat pend)It will make a chick take cover.She'll know just what kind of man you are when she sees those six pnumatic pumps and smells the high-test exaust from it's dual pipes and you will know nothing can keep your dick down.Also new MAN LENSES,pop these babies in your eyes before a boy girl scene and that chick will look like a dude,for the faggot working in straight porn.We are also going to strengthen complex w.u.d.(formerly known as caverject)until every male talent can have his penis break free from it's skin and do a scene across town.Of course all this developement will drive our prices up,but wouldn't you rather pay more than have some director looking back and forth from you to his watch,to the p.a. standing by the telephone?Come see us at B.L.A.C.O. don't let your small-non-working-penis,keep you out of porn

(secretly recorded in Bishop's office by the meglomaniacal and now slightly paranoid Tyler Knight)
"So any news on Tyler's penis?Fuck! The south of France? how'd his dick get a passport?He's not gonna like this,hold on, Gladys! call my jeweler and tell him theres not enough diamonds on this rolex I can still lift my arm.I'm back so who do you have in the pool?-yeah you got a shot but I'm going with Tyler Durden shit he hardly has wood with our products"............

Black people are weird.

I follow the same rules as the great grant michaels i don't stick my dick in a hole already occupying another dick.

Penis letting you down?(guy shakes head at soft dick)
Can this particular shoot make or break you?
(pan to director muted shouting hands animated)
Nothing wrong with your co-star,(cutaway to flawless beauty)
Then it must be you!(Director on phone"Tom can you get here?)
Turn it around with new Super Wud(cue morris day and the time Get It Up)(cut to apollo launch)(cut to locomotive entering tunnel)(cut to bronze statue of a soldier with helmet at a jaunty angle....) and (chorus) Get it up!We're Ready For A real Good Time(Girl in a disheveld heap on floor with a broad smile as our man picks up his check)Gonna Try To Blow your Mind!
(our hero passes Tom on his way out the door,gives him the universal fuck you look)uh uh,oh whoa--oh whoa!(fade out)
B.L.A.C.O. Responsible for more wood than lumber-jacks!

i don't post for a day and i miss this? fucking hilarious! i was bitter about missing the milken/drexel-era and the tech-bubble thing. the first thing we need to do is get ivan boesky on board, then on to corruption and dominance!

OFFICIAL INTEROFFICE CORRESPONDENCE SECURITY LEVEL (FOR YOUR EYES ONLY) Hello jamesn, and welcome to the BLACO board.Your sharp and cunning,nature will serve us well.Your input will be appreciated,BUT LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT---TYLER AND I CAN CORRUPT THIS MOFO ALL BY OURSELVES!Which is evidenced by the sharp rise in our stock,caused by nothing more than, A: false promises(the bionic impaler runs well until you get in doggie at which point the shrapnel from the explosion straifes everything in a two block radius.
B:Lies We have people convinced that it's human error(like audi and the gas/brake pedals)
C: Misdirection Whenever we have a press release we have Tyler stand at the podium so his rugged profile is most prominant(be careful of that If he stands at that angle and says he raped your mother,you're likely to buy him a beer and say the bitch had it coming.)
And lastly D: free press,Tylers penis broke free again and did it use it's frequent flyer miles? No it tore through the southern states like a florida hurricane.Leaving a wake of death and destruction that anyone would be proud to say their dick caused.So you see we dont need Bohski,or Gecko,Trump or any of those pussies,When our stock is worth 100,000 times it's actual value we break camp,have no comments,get out of the jurisdiction of the U.S. and write books blaming each other as indictments that aren't worth the paper they are printed on come raining down like confetti.From what I understand this is perfectly legal as long as you are willing to move out of the country(think prison rape)There are plenty of other nice places too live(hell the aids rate in cambodia is still manageble)In your desk you'll find two sets of keys one to a steamer trunk full of hundred dollar bills we've buried in your mom's yard(Tyler didn't touch her you should be glad his dick's on tour)and the other to a 95 Calloway Twin Turbo Corvette in the parking structure....So know your role,loosen up,and put some astro-glide(tm) in your hair and join us for donuts in what used to be the park(we bought it off the city with petty cash to build a private super-car proving ground.Those fucking kids can play somewhere else(shit! did I type that...fuck I meant to think it...oh well.....

Ditch that piece of shit Calloway turbo setup and get the vette to John Lingenfelter or ditch the sissy completely and go LS1 at least, new twin spinners he's got 750HP

http://www.lingenfelter.com

Go RUF with that Carrera

http://www.ruf-automobile.de/

RUF tweaked single turbo carrera 650HP, non 4 wheel drive and stripped lightweight was the fastest car in the world during the late 80's and early 90's.

12/22/2004
B.L.A.C.O Self Serving Propaganda

RE: Corporate Swindler of the Year.

I am currently in the Arctic Circle, on a sleigh being pulled by six d-list male talents, naked except for their socks, that I recruited from a North Hollywood bukkake.After I'm done clubbing cute, cuddly, baby harp seals for their fur, a non critical component for the "Man Lens" (tm) BLACO Corp, Bishop and I are off to the annual Sweatshop Millionare Awards, where he will be named "Corporate Swindler of the Year". Simultaneously, while he is making his long winded acceptance speech, our Covert Ops/Black Bag Job Team, (the 1-12 San Francisco 49ers) will leak an Industrial Light & Magic doctored mpeg of him to ADT. The doctored mpeg will be doing a tranny in Sao Paolo, which will guarentee him an AVN (tm) Performer of the Year Award, and thus inflate our stock price (currently trading with a P/E ratio of 898,466,597:1)even further.

Tyler H. Knight
Chairman of the Manwhores
B.L.A.C.O, Inc.

stop theres actually tears comin out now!!!!!!I need to be excused for a moment.......

I'm eyeing a 67 Chevelle with 4sp to trick out and slam or older from the 50's Chop Top Ford. I'll put a LPE massaged LS1 in either one of those. There is a Chevelle in Ohio 4sale not far from Lingenfelter to get and mess with.

Todays two seaters are smallish, I can't stand them anymore. Not even a new vette or viper.

Daily driver changing to a 05 Dodge Magnum AWD. Their just starting to build them. The body needs a ground effects kit, but I like more people can ride the hot rod and that has room for fold down seats to be with the honeys. HEMI powered, I'm sure its not fully open. Could use a supercharger and more weezing exhaust pipes. Ram air flow through the hood.

I'll take Jayna Oso for any ride she desires!

Black people are weird, like that gay thug on real world that fayner likes. How many times have cops pulled you up in a club, just tell me, how many WAAAAAAAA.

From B.L.A.C.O R&D Division.

While it is cruel to test products on cute bunnies, no such morality applies to d-list male talent. Our elite Covert Ops team scoured the Valley looking for test subjects, until spotting a group of down trodden "straight" male talent outside of the famous Falconi Men ( www.falconimen.com ) Modeling Agency. They were gathered like day workers outside of Home Depot, looking for "Gay for Pay" jobs. The problem was, as soon as our CovertOps leader, Gen stepped out of the cab to herd them into the back of the pick up truck, they instantly got arroused. Undaunted, she subdued them with our propriatary mace, "Wood Be Gone" (tm), designed for situations when our erection enhancing products work too well. They test subjects were then rounded up, and shuttled to our secret R&D lab, beneath the infamous Tuxford house. More developments to follow.

Tyler H. Knight
Chairman of the Horde
B.L.A.C.O. Inc.

(TEXT MESSAGE frm SEC.Bishop to TRNSGNDR-COTH Tyler Knight) B A D -- N E W S -- T Y-- T H E--- S P E C I A L---- - O P S--- T E A M (the 1 and 12 san fran 49rs) L E T----- Y O U R-- C O C K --- S L I D E --- T H R U-- -------- T H E I R -- F I N G E R S-- L I K E-- A -------- W A Y W A R D --- F U M B L E-------I N T E L -- H A S -- I T-- H E A D E D ----- T O --- C A L I F. -- S O M T H I N G --- A B O U T -- A N--- E N D O R S E M E N T -------- D E A L----S E E -- A T T.
S O R R Y -- B I S H

Really, really fucked up thread. There was an innocence then.

Reminded me of "The Little Rascals"- "Hey ya'll, let's put on a play!"

Funniest shit ever. How did I miss it? I'm busting a gut.

(ominous bump)