Most of the regulars here should recognize the name “Grip Johnson” as the moderator that makes the rarest of appearances as in almost never. Heck, who could blame him in between snorting lines of coke off the clits of the current SkinTight “it” girls, capturing Chunky history, analizing Moms, snapping up toasters for x-mas and actively seeking newcummers who can actually insert an AVN award statue up their gapers; there's no time. We both graduated from Narcotics Anonymous together and even I had to contact him through a meth dealer just to do this Q & A session via a ouija board.

1. Describe your casting couch techniques.

Well, first I tell the girl she’s gonna be a star. I assure her that lack of education, self esteem, and common sense are strong desirable traits in a young go-getter like herself. Then I tell her I have a Reality Show about the industry in the works with HBO. By this point, they usually drop to their knees.

However, every now & then, I come across a chick who has seen a Dateline episode on NBC & is a little weary about the industry. So, I tell them they’re really smart & should really be directing movies. I tell her we’ll talk more about it at Dr. Dre’s party later in the week, and does she mind if we take Lil Flip’s Hummer limo cause my Lambo is being fit with spinners. Works everytime.


2. What are the pros and cons of being a pornographer?

The pros? I think the great Martin Luther King Jr. said it best, “To a nigga looking up to me, life ain’t nuthin but bitches & money.” 6 years ago, JM’s Jeff Steward, the Obi Won of degradation, trained me in the ways of whores. Before I knew it, I was on the 11th floor at the Venetian in Vegas looking down at the Strip, sipping a Long Island Ice Tea, with some porn whore from Russia attached to my dick. At that moment, I knew I was home.

The cons? You immerse yourself in it. You get in touch with your inner pervert. And, you touch it all the time. Soon, your pulling out your dick at family gatherings and schoolyards.

Dating civilians becomes futile. I was getting head by a civilian chick I was really into. She made a gagging sound, so I figured she was down with the Gag Factor guide to love making, so I pinched her nose shut. Suddenly she starts struggling—thrashing her head about, arms flailing—and I’m thinking “wow, this rocks. Maybe I’ll pull out & pop in her ear.” But then she pulls away and calls me an “asshole.” It really ruined Valentine’s Day for me.

3. Do you try to romance the talent?

Totally. Candle light. Incense. Crack cocaine. Sade on the stereo. Then it’s time to make sweet sweet love to her throat.

4. Explain how you and Cram brainstorm.

We storyboard every scene. But before that, we go to a nice restaurant, sit next to a family or couple, and very loudly discuss how to best gape a hot chick’s asshole or what dialogue should be said before we proceed to the mouth fucking. If it offends the people next to us, we know we’re on to something.

5. How many days a week do you shoot?

Fuck, dude. We shoot practically every day. Degrading whores for your viewing pleasure is a full time job. I’ve had to turn my back on family, friends, and God. But, when I capture a whore’s perfectly gaped shitter on camera, I just know it was all worth it.

6. You are giving free toasters to talent who perform well. Are there any performers who have disappointed you?

We hired feature boy Joel Lawrence to fuck Katrina Kraven in her shitpussy for Army of Ass. It was the first volume in the series so it was especially important for us to make it work. We figured using an old pro like Joel could benefit us. Of course, everything went wrong.

Joel comes in & smokes like a 100lbs of weed before filling out a model release. Then he goes to fuck Katrina, but stops when he notices a fleshy wart on her asshole. He immediately goes into feature boy primma donna mode. He says he can’t fuck her with the wart. Now, personally, if I didn’t fuck every girl who had some shit growing on her asshole, I’d never get laid. Maybe, that’s just me.

So, we all go to inspect Katrina’s asshole. Four guys staring at the fleshy wart on her anus trying to figure out if it’s some kind of aids or hybrid herpe-wart. She starts crying. Cram offers to bite it off. Joel walks off the set, but not before smoking a bowl. I head for the bathroom and look for a bottle of Draino to drink. I was pretty fucking disappointed. No toaster for Joel.

7. What is the most popular of all your titles by sales?

Army of Ass has really taken off. It does the best, with Milf Money a close second. But, of course, the Chunky flicks sell pretty solidly too. There are a lot of closet chubby chasers out there. Those sick fucks.

8. Are you making any dough?

I make more dough than Pillsbury. I wear Jules Jordan on my necklace, beyotch.

9. Tell us the most outrageous on set experience and no joking.

We were shooting Chunky Slumber Party at the home of an old dominatrix. She had a dungeon complete with cages & whips, and all that S&M crap. We figured we’d incorporate some S&M into our flick. The film stars Kiki D’aire, who was hesitant about being in a chunky flick, but immediately signed on when I told her she’d get to beat & humiliate near-homeless degenerate Jeremy Steele. Apparently, the entire industry hates this guy. So, Kiki asks me if she can try some B&D thing called The Propeller on Jeremy’s cock & balls. I figure what the hell. It’s not my dick.

Kiki ties rope gently around Jeremy’s nuts till they are completely snug & tight. Then she proceeds to tie the rest of the rope around the shaft of his penis. Silence on the set. Tape rolling. Action! With one quick tug, Kiki pulls the rope! It spins Jeremy’s cock like … well like a fucking propeller! Then it spins off his nuts, twisting them in ways only man-hating lesbians can imagine.

Jeremy squeals. I’m sure what would have been a Tarzan-like yell of miserable pain was nothing more than a muffled whimper thanks to the bright red ball-gag in his mouthhole. He falls to the floor. Tears in his eyes. The entire room is quiet. He won’t move. “He’s gonna need a minute,” Kiki informs us.

Someone remembers to take the ball-gag out of Jeremy’s mouth & he speaks. “Why did you guys do that to me?” We all bust out laughing. He’s pissed. Cram promises him an extra 25 bucks for his torment & I encourage him to get even by jamming his cock in Kiki’s asshole during the scene, which he does, not only for his own pleasure and retribution, but for all the indignities suffered by man at the hands of evil women.

10. Any advice for the aspiring pornographers out there?

Yea. Be rich & Jewish. Or, be the son of someone rich & jewish. See Nectar for further details.

11. Do you jerk off to your own movies?

If I don’t jerk off, you don’t jerk off. SkinTight will not release a scene unless either I or Cram have stroked to it. Preferably together.

12. How does one direct a chunky feature?

With a wide lense. A very wide lense. And, respect for fans of the genre. Just cause you’re a sick bastard who likes fat chicks doesn’t mean we’re gonna shortchange you on strokevalue and quality like most fetish companies do. We give you story, humor, and we always bring da chunk.

13. Is Roxy Blaze Skintight’s first contract girl?

No, she just won’t go away. Hooked nose heifers need love too, you know. Personally, I like to think of Gen Padova as our official contract whore. She’s been in a lot of our stuff & is always a trooper. I still feel bad Cram made her get that abortion. I hope those crazy kids work things out.

14. When you are going to hire Nicole Brazzle for Army Of Ass?

Fuck that shit! We have Bianca Pureheart taking a mean merciless fuck up the ass in Army of Ass #7! She was in so much pain & discomfort during the filming of her scene, I swear my dick was stiffer than Nicole Brazzle’s dead Marine husband!

15. What's next for Skintight?

Well, my friend, as long as there are young girls making bad life decisions, SkinTight will be there to exploit them for profit and, of course, our own shit & giggles.


www.skintightpictures.com
www.legenddirect.com

When I walked out of the abortion clinic... Cram embraced me and said it was for the best. Especially when we plan on marriage in June. Having a kid and marriage at the sametime is a disgrace to this business. He felt taking my throat in marriage was more important. I agree though. Throats do last longer. It's very romantic... as Romantic as Dino Bravo.

Hey Gen,
Grip told me that Cram lost his mind after getting a whip cream lap dance from Roxy Blaze on the Skin Tight casting couch!

Whip cream or soemthing but bottom line, yea he did lose his mind. He lost his nuts too!! So that night I have him a whores bath with my tongue and then let him fuck my throat with both my hands around the base of his cock. Just like he likes it. He says I look like a squirrel feasting on nuts. Like I've said before and i'll say it again... it was romantic... as romantic as the Toss My Salad scene I did with Dino Bravo! LOL
Grip told me that Cram lost his mind after getting a whip cream lap dance from Roxy Blaze on the Skin Tight casting coach!

He might not be marriage material for pimpin' you out in Toss My Salad, tho I'm proud to say I'll never watch any Toss My Salad scene ever. Even Lucifer wants that series to end... However, whenever you mention roses around Cram he thinks you're talking about Mila's prolapsed rosebud.

Well true... the Mila rosebuds is as rosey and romantic as it gets. I like it though. We have that picture englarged on the wall over our bed. It's touching. For Valentine's Day he sent me a dozen pop-out Mila rosebuds on a stick! It smelled like spam too if I scratched each one. You couldn't ask for anything better.

Attention all chronic masturbators,

Padova has told me that she has been getting tons of calls and e-mails from people saying what an asshole and a pig I am for making her get that abortion a while back. I figured I'd come on here and defend myself against this kind of criticism.

One day Gen came home to our love nest in the 'bu and told me she was knocked up and wasn't even sure if it was mine. It was either mine or Steven French's from her scene in Butterface Part Deux.

Now, I'll be damned if I'm gonna be on the hook to take care of some possibly half-french trick baby til the little fucker turned 18.

I think that if any of you guys were in the same position of as me you'd be driving the bitch to the nearest planned parenthood and forkin over the dough for the best abortion you could afford. After hers was done and the kid was in a chum bucket they even gave her a lollipop and balloons. That's all me, I paid extra for it.

Usually they don't let the guy watch as the chick gets the procedure done, but I insisted since I wanted to make sure there was no shennanigans and the job really got done. I think the doc freaked a little when I started laughing maniacally as the vacuumed the little bastard out of there.

But in the end it was worth it, our relationship is stronger than ever and I don't have to pay for Steven French's kid to go to fuckin' preschool.

Cram Johnson

And now we know the rest of the Story.

Brings back memories of sitting in the waiting room at planned parenthood and all of sudden hearing the whir of a vacuum cleaner. Looked around and there was no one vacuuming. I realized what it was and laughed my ass off.
Damned thing makes more noise than a shop vac. from sears.

Grip sent me pix of Haley & Bianca from AOA 7, but I'm gonna be greedy and savor the Haley ones by myself right now. Sorry, just one of the perks of being a pervert with power. However, here's Bianca looking great!