If you're director in the adult industry, you know porn whores are downright lazy. Sure, they're fun to do coke with. And, jerking off with their heads is always a good time. But, when it's time to shoot a scene, you need that bitch to be on. You don't want to hear inane questions like, "How many minutes is this?" "How many positions are we doing?" "Can you drive me to the check cashing place?" "Why are you jerking off in my purse?"

All you want is a good scene filled with lots of energy, piss, and cum. Maybe some tears too. So, how do you get this from these lazy no good cock monkeys? Easy. Motivate them.

"You can't blame a whore for being a whore," explains Cram Johnson. "That's like expecting black people to have good credit. As directors, we have to take it upon ourselves to motivate these whores."

That's why SkinTight Pictures is giving away FREE TOASTERS! That's right! Free toasters to all porn whores who deliver hot scenes! "The program really works," says Grip Johnson. "Now, whores can have delicious toast in the mornings with their valtrex and vodka."

Porn newbie & Army of Ass #7 starlet Tina Fine agrees. "I know a good toaster only runs about 30 bucks, but when you're a professional cocksocket you have a lot of expenses. Nails, AIM tests, tanning salons, abortions, your boyfriends rent-it all adds up. A free toaster really helps."

And, it has many uses.

"I pawned my SkinTight toaster for syringes," adds Milf Money #7 starlet & tweaker, Madison Grey. "I would have puked the toast anyway."

"I'm gonna use my SkinTight toaster to kill myself in the tub," says Toe Jam #6 starlet and imminent suicide victim Lucki Chatsworth gleefully. "Thanks SkinTight!"

"A good whore is a motivated whore," affirms Grip. "If you give porn chicks gifts for good sex, they'll always deliver. Just ask their dads."

If you're an enthusiastic whore who could use some money and a bitchin' SkinTight toaster, contact Grip & Cram at talent@skintightpictures.com.

Army of Ass #7 & Milf Money #7 are available now!

God damn it i didnt get a toaster is this your way of saying my army of ass sucked, im gonna go use my electric tooth brush to try to kill myself in the tub.

Kami, your scene in Army of Ass #3 touched me in ways only my uncle had. The toaster giveaway is a new program, but as soon as we get our shipment of brand spankin new toasters, yours will be on the way! No bullshit!

We are givin' em away to all whores who go beyond the call of duty!

woot! the gtoothbrush didnt work but it did make my swimsuit area all tingly.
when i get a toaster thye first thing im gonna do is roast marshmellows over it, or maybe actually toast the pop tarts!

I don't get toasters! I get spankings from Cram and Grip instead. It's hot!!!

man think of it gen your missing out on warm melty poptarts

I rather eat a poptart from your crotch knowing that it got warm from your very own body heat. Besides I'd get some extra nutrional value having that pussy juice on it.

Instead of my mommy saying she should have spit or swallowed rather than taking the seed... she said she's surprised I wasn't born with a dick. LOL

It might be a chick thing!

hey kami! can i get a pop tart with your special kind of frosting? i need something of nutritional value.

ok but i ran out of shmores this am only scooby doo with candy bones one left