when i go running along a river near me it's usually nice scenery, but for like 2 weeks every year every 200 yards is broken up by quackquackquack, splashing water and these mallard ducks mating. it's both surreal and kind of unpleasant, but i was like "whoa, these ducks are like gay people!"

i wanted to see if these ducks had any sense of shame or decency so i lobbed a stone towards a coupling and they just looked and went back to their aquatic and bestial duck fucking. honestly, i would still eat them because their flesh is so good had they politely asked that i not throw another seeing as i've seen their poop. i've never thrown a rock at a gay person though.

but basically, gay people are like cats in heat, but constantly and need to be chased out of flowerbeds and garages where they meet strangers, mount each other and start howling like a hurt child as the bottom's anal-desensitizer wears off. you'd never hire a straight man to do your hair, but i'm convinced the shampoo-girls are really hired by salons to prevent an all-male environment where buttsex would break out at random and to seperate mating stylists with those brooms they're always using.