Q: What do you get when you mix LSD and birth
control?
A: A trip without the kids!

Q: What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
A: Nacho Cheese.

Q: Why is AIDS a miracle?
A: Because it turns fruits into vegetables.

Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman
up.

Q: How is a woman like a laxative?
A: They both irritate the shit out of you.

Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's
nipples for?
A: It's Braille for "suck here".

Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured
out women?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when
they go they take your house and car with them...

Q:How many feminists does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A: None, feminists can't change anything.

Q: Why did God invent the yeast infection?
A: So women know what it's like to live with an
irritating cunt.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican with a
Chinese?
A: Someone who can steal a car but can't drive it.

Q: Why do Jews have big noses?
A: Air is free.

Q: What is the difference between a pair of jeans
and an Ethiopian?
A: A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and
wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they have
sex?
A: Because they have cotton balls.

Q: What's the difference between Beer Nuts and
Deer Nuts?
A: Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always
under a buck.

Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post
Office is flying at half-mast?
A: They're hiring.

Q: Why is there no Disneyland in China?
A: No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

Q: What's the job application to Hooters?
A: They just give you a bra and say: Here, fill
this out.