An old man and his grandson were sitting out on the porch together, on a nice sunny day. Soon enough, the grandfather pops out a cigarette and lights it.
The boys looks at his grandfather and says " Can I have one of those?"
The grandfather replies "Can your dick reach your asshole?"
The boy says "no."
Grandfather then tells him "Then you can't have one."
A little while later, the grandfather pops open a can of beer and takes a sip.
The boy looks up at him and says "Can I have one grandpa?"
The grandfather replies "Can your dick reach your asshole?"
The boy says "No"
"Then you can't have one."
Some time later the boy goes into the house and returns shortly with a glass of milk and a big plate of cookies.
The grandfather looks at him and says "Can I have some?"
The boy says "Can your dick reach your asshole"
The grandfather says proudly "Yep!!"
To which the boy replies "Then go fuck yourself! Grandma says these are mine!"