17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists...by Michael Moore

Dear Friends,

Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in,
let's, in the words of Monty Python, “always look on the bright side of
life!” There IS some good news from Tuesday's election.

Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since
Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young
adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents
are always wrong and you should never listen to them.

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the
country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't
worth fighting (51%), and don’t approve of the job George W. Bush is
doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out.
It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in
the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack
the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the
Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the
birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And
the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most
of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can
dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just
any old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a
poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces
Michigan.

8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America
will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long
time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will
be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get
married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding
gifts we won't have to buy now.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress,
including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good
to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our
candidates can't.

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at
least 3 chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled
state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went
into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans
controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday,
Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1
chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.

14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment
than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here
on out -- and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do
all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like
everyone's last month in 12th grade -- you've already made it, so it's
party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent
Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And
why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and
kicked our ass.

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a
very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following
two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander
to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may
whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building
"a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus
he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will
become so cocky and arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will
commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will
have to remove him from office.

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of
voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a
landslide -- it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million.
If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you
barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line,
pick up the ball and go home crying -- especially when you get to start
the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have
hope! More sports analogies are coming!!!

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for
the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than
the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton
or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media
are looking for a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans
were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an
out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with
evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is that so many people
have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news.
Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought
you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004.
In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of
surprise in 2008.

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My
Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such
a wonderful country -- it doesn't even need a president!'"

But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again tomorrow.

Yours,
Michael Moore

Mike should go see that other documentary type film- Super size me

I want to scoop out Michael Moore's eyes and shit in his sockets.

From: http://www.moorewatch.com/

In regards to #17:

Misnomer that a lot of people on both sides are using....yeah both guys beat Reagan's vote total....however, let's adjust for total population growth.

Reagan vote total = 54,451,521
United States Population (1984) = 236,581,000
Ratio = 1 voter per 4.345 citizens

Bush 2004 vote total = 59,117,523
United States current population = 294,684,886
Ratio = 1 voter per 4.985 citizens

Kerry 2004 vote total = 55,557,584
United States current population = 294,684,886
Ratio = 1 voter per 5.304 citizens

If Bush carried the same percentage of the population that Reagan did, he would have had 67,825,282 votes.

In fact, as a percentage, Kerry would have carried less votes than the following Presidential candidates:

Grover Cleveland (his losing effort)
Richard Nixon (1960)
Gerald Ford (1976)
Winfield Hancock (1880)
James Blaine (1884)

See what I'm saying? Moore tries to pump the lefites up with stupid statistics....and, in the end, Kerry's run will be like James Blaine's...

...i.e., "Who's that?"

Yeah, chicken, good point. I was gonna make it, but it's not even worth my time. Geez, Moore is a tool.