fuck yes. I actually had a couple of days off this week, but as of 8:32 pm, this balmy friday night, I be drinking..

starting with lindeman's rose, only because I didn't want to have to grind the lemons and limes. am quite the gin fizz fan these days..

Testing 2 small batches of puno hard cider I started last week. The difference in them is they each have a different yeast. Not going to try to clear them or anything. I'm very impatient.

Now this is relevant to my interests.

Barry, what's the difference between the yeast strains? And what results do you expect from each?

Bacardi and coke, then a Bacardi and Pepsi, cause they don't sell Coke at Exotica.

Been in my thermals and dancing around the room to Laibach since I got home from working out. The bf, his friend, and I are walking to the bar and if they're not honoring happy hour then we're going to bevmo to buy Kubler. So much for I should quit drinking because I'm trying to save money.

With the way the economy is going, your best bet is to start making spirits in your tub.

This isn't about me drinking. A guy up here got drunk with his girlfriend and they fell asleep outside overnight and he died from the cold. It happens up here sometimes. Anyway, it's not nice to laugh at the dead, but this guy had a great name for a drunken stumblebum: Billy Willie.

I was working in Charlotte yesterday and passed a Total Wine store. We don't have Total Wine's here so my inner Charin came out and I pulled in. Looking for the Holy Grail of Beers.

Lo and behold, I found one lonely case on the shelf and immediately bought it. Pura Vida. Life is good.

I can't tell the difference between 2 buck chuck and St Snotty Blah di Blah. And I intend on keeping it that way. On dates, I always let the man choose the wine.

Bornyo, that beer looks cool. Great packaging.

Wait...why the Third Reich graphics if it's some Peruvian beer?

Gia it's good stuff. The packaging reflects the heritage of it's founding brewers who came from Austria to Costa Rica. (Prior to WWII I might add).

It's the cleanest, freshest Lager I've ever drank. You can ask your boyfriend what that means but basically it means it doesn't leave an aftertaste in your mouth like you've had buttermilk and does not taste like water when you taste it. But you can taste the water in it, if that makes sense.

You can probably find it readily in Cali as the Pacific coast of Costa Rica is a popular destination out there.

If I "yelped", I'd give this beer as many stars as they allow.

Couple shots of Canadian Mist last night before bed.

Yeah Imperial, Pura Vida!

So I brewed my first batch of beer on Sunday, now it's percolating happily at 70 degrees.

"First Born Pale Ale" was the offering that came with the 5 gallon brew kit.


A pail of the Idophor no-rinse iodine solution, for sanitizing purposes.


Steeping the grains.


Crash cooling the wort with frozen 2 liter bottles.


Fresh into the fermenter with airlock and fish-tank thermometer.


About 5 more days of fermenting, then bottling and another week or so of bottle fermentation.

Then I gets drunk!

It might not be the "best" beer ever, but the fact that you created it will make it taste so good.

That's why I drink Australian shiraz. It's about the strongest wine you can get besides Italian Amarone, which is way too fucking expensive. As far as alcohol content goes, they're both about one notch below hobo wine.

I know, it could be beerfart hell for all I care, I just know I've made the world a better place by creating life through beer.

It's the same as God feels.

Can't pronounce it. Pic's on my twitter.

Maredsous ???
pronounced !

Feeling fine.

[Source]

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How to Drink Until Your Ass Bleeds

Bollocks to the Hippocratic Oath

By Dr. Mona Moore

Disclaimer: Some of you might remember this column from a few years back when we still lived at Viceland. When we moved to VICE.com, though, it disappeared, so now we've dug it up. Enjoy.


Hey, you rapidly decaying protoplasmic sacks of calcium and shit, my name is Dr Mona Moore. Obviously, that is not my real name, but I am a real doctor. Don't feel bad for me, though, because it means I will always have a job, an apartment ten times bigger than yours, and the right to tell you what to do simply because I will always know better. Enjoy my column!

BOLLOCKS TO THE HIPPOCRATIC OATH - HOW TO DRINK YOURSELF TO A BLEEDING ARSE

I had my worst experience in the ER ever this week. I had to extract wads of bloody tissue from a homeless man’s anus after he plugged it to stop himself shitting on the streets. Every few minutes I made an excuse such as—I need more gloves—and ran to wretch with a gasp of fresh air.

I can smell true alcoholics before I see them. I’m not talking about your amateur weekend binge-drinkers; tequila-in-the eye, snorting-vodka, the 'striving for oblivion' contingent, or the middle-aged women who down three bottles of red wine a night after they put their kids to bed because they have no joy in their lives. This is the "I want to pickle my brain, bleed from my ass and lose any sense of coherent reality forever" group. They’re the really stinky fuckers. Like ass-wad man.

He drank so much he had scoured the inside of his stomach raw with ulcers, which were bleeding out so quickly it ran straight through the 6.5m of his gut, mixed with shit and leaked all over the street. His brain was so marinated in sweet dark rum that he was blissfully unaware of his own wretchedness. To be fair to him, he was a little embarrassed, which is why he had shoved toilet paper up his arse—a gesture of politeness not to leak in public.

Just when I thought the experience couldn’t get any worse, he started telling me what a "pretty little thing" I was. I ignored this. It couldn't be happening. It couldn't be possible that while I have my hands up his bum pulling out shitty rags from his anal cavity, he could be chatting me up. Then three of his friends came in and in all seriousness he shooed them away hissing, "guys, fuck off, I think I’m in with the doctor." I wanted to vomit on his blistered bare bottom.

To alchies like this, their stay in hospital is only an inconvenient break in their quest for deeper and more putrid inebriation. I have caught patients drinking the hospital hand-sanitizer because it has at least 60 percent alcohol content and is handedly positioned within arms reach at the bottom of every patient's bed. Some are kind enough to just squirt it in their mouth while others remove the lid and drink straight from the bottle.

There are clever ones who drink yummy blue deicer because the only way to save them is by putting them on an alcohol drip. It cuts out that annoying middleman—the mouth. It’s an irony I’m sure that is not lost on their livers. I found one mid-twenties alcoholic tired of the waiting room with a dribble of green Toilet Duck down his stubbly chin. He tried to deny it like a naughty kid who just ate all the cookies.

Once I stabilized the butt-leak, I admitted him so he wasn’t my problem anymore and finished my shift. On my way out I passed a doubly incontinent blanket-wearing racist in a wheelchair ranting about the Chinese. After a shift like that I needed a stiff drink and fast.


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vice dot com is it?. Shane Smith would rule in this thread.

That is way too many words for this thread. If I didn't know better, I'd suspect Pipsqueak was itching for another stint in the box.

I suspect he's posting in this thread and NOT drinking tonight. being wordy is one thing...but breaking one of the most sacred traditions here...in this thread...that's some fucked up shit.

Blather on the cartoon villain shall. Mr Clean-Up can't be that connected and in deep with the whores he protects left and right when he has to remind Veronica Jett in the comments section of LukeIsBack.com to check her e-mail under the Mark Felt ID.

Being wordy in this thread is only acceptable if you're drinking.

Box 'im like he's Coco Loco's drink of choice.

box-0-whine?.

i'm happy to see the pipe back and posting.
get off that wagon pipe and come on in for the big win, maybe?.

Exactly. And, on a related note:





I can't be alone in wondering what a drunken Pipsqueak posts like. It's prolly something that would sink any other poster, but, look who we're dealing with.

Schnapps?

JB injects vodka into his anus.

^^No, that's neither wordy nor inane enough to be Pipsqueak. But thanks for playing.

Schnaps is for the homeless hardcore alcoholic. Net access would suffer.
Beeah's shitty for all the pissing involved and gives me headaches sooner or later.
Whiskey's better, but the good shit's too expensive to get going on for long and last time vomiting was involved the next day.
It's safe to assume I can't hold my liquor compared to Jimsterson, so a default win for him on this one.

It's also "save" to assume it's not for lack of trying.

Yes, corrected and all.

Quoting as much as he does, he should have seen by now that it doesn't exactly work like above. It's probably for the basis of his default win.

don't jump right in with the liquor... a couple beers will suffice or a decent bottle of wine. we had The.Best. cabernet the other night.
http://www.turleywinecellars.com/
it wasn't cheap but it was habit forming good.

No, no, fuck, no. Red wine vomiting once formed a lasting distaste for the shit which felt as if Freddy Krueger went to work in my stomach.

really?. well try those alcohol bags panzer was talking about in the shout box.

How come Pipsqueak speaks coherently while going on about vomit and not in that fugazy haiku we've all come to know and loathe?

Because he is trying to converse instead of incite?

In vino, veritas.

Mysteries of the net...

You're no MPZ, but you're no "mystery of the net" either. You have been breaking character lately. Soon we'll learn you are from Cleveland.

I never claimed to be one, find it amusing you read it that way though. What's different or not is pretty obvious. Character-breaking - also not really.

Also, not really- character breaking. One I never claimed to be.

Dude: You just speak "Yoda". Come off that act and let it flow. Your Old Man River and now PipeD shit gets old. I know you can type conversational English and you may have something to say. So say it.

That wouldn't be the difference.

You can't be so far out to believe I was Oldie. What specifically gets old?

Why do I get the feeling this will end with Pipsqueak confessing his real name is Leon Kompowsky?

From Cleveland...

Let it flow. Jimmy's doing it; you can, too.

Stella Artois is fucking awesome....to get on topic.

Are you sure that's the proper use of a semi-colon? Those always vexed me so like Hemingway I avoided them.

Edit: I embarrassingly mis-spelled colon.

He won't give up the ghost, will he?