19072 Members
14 Forums
40341 Topics
614100 Posts
Max Online: 788 @ 09/28/24 10:05 AM
|
|
|
#466365 - 12/19/09 02:54 PM
Groaners
|
Gag Factor Guru
Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/05
Posts: 5290
Loc: Dayton
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#466367 - 12/19/09 03:00 PM
Re: Groaners
|
Gag Factor Guru
Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/05
Posts: 5290
Loc: Dayton
|
A man had a dog that would go to the store with a pouch around his neck, and the store keeper would put a pack of cigarettes and the change in the pouch. The dog would return and the man would get his smokes and his change. One day, he was in the bar with his dog, and the barkeeper couldn't break a fifty. The man needed smokes anyway, so he put the fifty into the dog's pouch and off the dog went. After about twenty minutes, the man and the bartender wondered what happened to the dog. The man went out to see if the dog had gone home, but passing an alley he saw his dog fucking a poodle. The man said. "Spot, God Damnit, you've never done this before!" to which the dog replied, "I've never had fifty dollars before, either."
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#466370 - 12/19/09 06:56 PM
Re: Groaners
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
|
Take my wife ... please.
==============
A horse goes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
===========
A matronly woman walks into a bar with a duck on her head.
A drunk patron stumbles over and blurts out, "Where'd you find the pig?"
She says angrily, "Pardon me, sir. That isn't a pig. It's a duck."
To which the man retorts, "I was talking to the duck."
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#466371 - 12/20/09 10:04 PM
Re: Groaners
|
Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 07/30/06
Posts: 1712
Loc: at the end of the longest line
|
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause?
Santa Claus stops after 3 Hos.
So this man walks into a bar. Ouch!
There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy crap! A talking muffin!"
_________________________
Twitter.com/degraderzim
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#466372 - 12/20/09 10:31 PM
Re: Groaners
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
|
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick. What do you call a cow after she's had an abortion? Decalfinated. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a beaver whose accepted Jesus as his lord & savior? A beleaver. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a fly that can't fly? A Walk. What do you call a bee that produces milk? Boob-bee What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not yo' Cheese. What do you call a dwarf from the "Psychic's Network" teller on the lam from the Feds? A small medium at large.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#466373 - 12/21/09 02:11 AM
Re: Groaners
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
|
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
(read the punch line with an Appalachian accent)
No idea
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#466378 - 01/16/10 04:57 PM
Re: Groaners
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
|
What's Hitlers least favorite planet?
'Jewpiter'
What do you call the million man march in the rain?
"Gorillas in the mist"
What do you call a mexican getting baptised?
Bean dip!
Why did so many niggers die in Vietnam?
When they were told to get down they started break dancing!
How does a niggress take a pregnancy test?
She sticks a banana up her pussy, if it comes out half-eaten you know there's another monkey on the way!
What do you call a black roofer?
Shit on a shingle!
What happens when a jew with an erection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
What do you call a spic with a rubber toe? Roberto!
I'd love to post more but that would be somewhat racist of me. Enjoy! <3
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#466380 - 01/18/10 05:35 AM
Re: Groaners
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
|
I heard Hillary Clinton is in Haiti now and that the Obama administration has dispatched a special team with her to make a grab for the ruby red slippers in case a house should fall on her.
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#466382 - 12/30/10 04:14 PM
Re: Groaners
|
Gag Factor Guru
Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/05
Posts: 5290
Loc: Dayton
|
BDM texting codes:
ATD: At The Doctor's BFF: Best Friend Farted BTW: Bring The Wheelchair BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth CBM: Covered By Medicare CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center DWI: Driving While Incontinent FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers FWIW: Forgot Where I Was FYI: Found Your Insulin GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low! GHA: Got Heartburn Again HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On? LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out LOL: Living On Lipitor LWO: Lawrence Welk's On OMMR: On My Massage Recliner OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas. ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop TTYL: Talk To You Louder WAITT: Who Am I Talking To? WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again WTP: Where's The Prunes? WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
For Cameron:
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. 'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration... 'Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.. 'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.' The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#466383 - 12/30/10 05:09 PM
Re: Groaners
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/30/08
Posts: 7599
Loc: a site known for its tolerance...
|
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the oven until its bill withers...
_________________________
"I'll never forget the moment during the lovely Alyssa Allure's scene in 'American Bukkake' where the fellow got out of his wheel chair to ejaculate on her face. It was grotesque but had a certain frisson." -Sock
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#466385 - 12/31/10 12:10 PM
Re: Groaners
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
^^^ Lou, are you suggesting the pride is hungry for the OP? It's been a while.
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#466386 - 12/31/10 12:19 PM
Re: Groaners
|
@
Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
|
sure... i'll use any excuse that distracts from my participation in this thread.
heres a real groaner. katy perry sans makeup.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#466387 - 12/31/10 01:21 PM
Re: Groaners
|
Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 12/20/10
Posts: 72
Loc: Between a brick and a hard pla...
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#466388 - 01/30/11 10:56 AM
Re: Groaners
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
|
Quote:
sure... i'll use any excuse that distracts from my participation in this thread.
heres a real groaner. katy perry sans makeup.
Is that really her???? If so make up is truly gods gift to women, thank god she had money to pay for make up artists, that's pretty fucking bad.
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#548520 - 03/24/12 12:28 PM
Re: Groaners
[Re: charin]
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo
|
A man had a dog that would go to the store with a pouch around his neck, and the store keeper would put a pack of cigarettes and the change in the pouch. The dog would return and the man would get his smokes and his change. One day, he was in the bar with his dog, and the barkeeper couldn't break a fifty. The man needed smokes anyway, so he put the fifty into the dog's pouch and off the dog went. After about twenty minutes, the man and the bartender wondered what happened to the dog. The man went out to see if the dog had gone home, but passing an alley he saw his dog fucking a poodle. The man said. "Spot, God Damnit, you've never done this before!" to which the dog replied, "I've never had fifty dollars before, either."
_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#548657 - 03/25/12 02:05 PM
Re: Groaners
[Re: charin]
|
Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 05/11/11
Posts: 103
|
What is the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting her out of the wheel chair.
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#548663 - 03/25/12 04:01 PM
Re: Groaners
[Re: charin]
|
Elder of Zion
Porn Jesus
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 5213
Loc: watching Bad Ronald
|
A blind man walks into a drug store and starts swinging his guide dog around over his head. The druggist comes over and asks, May I help you , Sir? The man replies: Nah, I'm just looking around.
_________________________
I really wanted to go to that Bukake because I thought for sure that you were going to be on the receiving end. - Ryan Knox to Jeff Steward
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#548744 - 03/26/12 08:33 AM
Re: Groaners
[Re: charin]
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 9782
Loc: Hillbilly Holler
|
Most often heard phrase in a gay bar ?
Push that stool in for ya ?
_________________________
I may not know arse but I know what I like !
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#548746 - 03/26/12 09:34 AM
Re: Groaners
[Re: charin]
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12906
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
|
How many fags can sit on a bar stool? 4 if you turn it upside down.
What is the difference between a woman and a toilet? Toilet doesn't want to cuddle after you drop a load in it.
What does Michelle Obama do after she shaves her pussy? Puts a tie on him and sends him to work.
How come Blacks and Arabs don't mate? They are afraid the kids will be too lazy to blow shit up.
What is green, slimy and smells like Miss Piggy? Brandon's dick.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#548794 - 03/26/12 05:51 PM
Re: Groaners
[Re: fartz]
|
Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 2362
Loc: St. Louis
|
What do you call a white guy surrounded by eight black guys? Victim.
_________________________
"Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken."
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#548800 - 03/26/12 05:58 PM
Re: Groaners
[Re: charin]
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/11/06
Posts: 5287
Loc: Anchorage, Alaska
|
Old man, tell us more boozy drinking stories.
_________________________
"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#548856 - 03/27/12 10:29 AM
Re: Groaners
[Re: charin]
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/11/06
Posts: 5287
Loc: Anchorage, Alaska
|
Do gay peoples eat gapefruit?
_________________________
"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#548876 - 03/27/12 01:06 PM
Re: Groaners
[Re: charin]
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12906
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
|
Brandon does.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#548879 - 03/27/12 01:27 PM
Re: Groaners
[Re: charin]
|
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#548887 - 03/27/12 02:47 PM
Re: Groaners
[Re: charin]
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12906
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
|
Do you like banana shape gapefruit or grape shape? If the trick shits out a log of grapes on your chest, do you eat it whole or pull the pellets apart and eat them individually?
Poop eater.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#548892 - 03/27/12 03:21 PM
Re: Groaners
[Re: Brandon_Iron]
|
Elder of Zion
Porn Jesus
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 5213
Loc: watching Bad Ronald
|
My preference is for tiny, symmetrical, hairless assholes Well, there are plenty of those guys in porn. Didn't you used to work for a guy who fits that description?
_________________________
I really wanted to go to that Bukake because I thought for sure that you were going to be on the receiving end. - Ryan Knox to Jeff Steward
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#628093 - 06/06/15 07:10 PM
Re: Groaners
[Re: charin]
|
Gag Factor Guru
Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/05
Posts: 5290
Loc: Dayton
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#628097 - 06/06/15 10:53 PM
Re: Groaners
[Re: charin]
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/11/06
Posts: 5287
Loc: Anchorage, Alaska
|
Category: Nationality GREEK NAVY What's the highest position in the Greek Navy? Rear Admiral!
_________________________
"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#630254 - 09/20/15 02:34 PM
Re: Groaners
[Re: Vice Admiral]
|
Gag Factor Guru
Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/05
Posts: 5290
Loc: Dayton
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#630638 - 10/20/15 06:31 AM
Re: Groaners
[Re: charin]
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 9782
Loc: Hillbilly Holler
|
That's pretty damned good!
_________________________
I may not know arse but I know what I like !
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
0 registered (),
541
Guests and
3
Spiders online. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|