Get better, dude.

Get well soon.

Heal up quick, BDM. Every minute yer down, there are whores who need you to watch them lose their souls.

w. Close but opposite. My bone are too dense. He had osteogenesis imperfect.

1920s style hat with net. $5 Goodwill. Dressing up as Lady Mary of Downton Abbey for a party.

Harrison Ford just crashed a P-22 fighter plane onto the golf course by my place. He got up and walked away until the ambulance came to get him.

72 year old alkies shouldn't be flying planes.

I think he's more of a pothead than a drunk. Anyway, we already lost spock this past week, we don't need to lose Han Solo, too.

Hes got the Star Wars movies and Blade Runner remake on the table. He can't die for 3-5 more years.

He's fine. His kid tweeted that he's just banged up.

source

Minnesota Bill Will Finally Make Ejaculating Into Another Person's Coffee Illegal


By Tommy Gimler Mar 13, 2015


Do we really need a bill to let people know it's not OK to jerk off into your coworker's cup of joe?

Surprisingly, the answer is yes.

Several months ago, we posted a story about a Minnesota man who admitted to ejaculating into a coworker's cup of coffee in an effort to get her attention. Technically, it worked, as she called the cops on his ass, and they arrested him for fifth-degree criminal sexual conduct and fifth-degree attempted criminal sexual conduct.

Minnesota man jerks off into cup of coffee
But according to the Pioneer Press, those charges were dropped by a Ramsey County judge in November because the man's "crime" did not include "nonconsensual touching of the victim's intimate parts."

Thankfully, two state representatives quickly drew up a bill that would make "placing bodily fluids in a substance intended for human consumption" a misdemeanor. It would be bumped up to a felony if the victim "ingests it without knowledge of the adulteration, with escalating penalties if it's done for sexual gratification or if the victim is a child."

There is only one question regarding the bill: How big of an asshole do you have to be to not approve it?

"Well, slashing her tires and killing her cat didn't work. What to do, Walter? What to do?"

hello

This reminded me of the great "you don't know dick about rebar" thread, wherever the fuck that may be.

I loved the rebar debate.

Nerd fights are always good.

It was awesome and definitive, but it wasn't much of a "debate". It was more of a schooling. Call it the Rebar Incident.

It was more than a schooling. Between the queer eye for the queer guy shoes and the Great Rebar Incident, it was pretty brutal. And comical.

What a god-damned shame. Tranny sniffer Alex has me on ignore, and this story would changed his life. Guess it sucks to be a broke-down, smelly commie puss bag like him. Alex, so swallow some more of your mother's use enema bag and get to work.

BBC: Gold In Feces Worth "Millions"

I have an idea for a thread, but it's hard to post pics when I'm on my iPad. Also, I am drunk. It would be called "Body stockings" Seriously, Google that search term and you get nothing but hot chicks. We need Figgs back. What happened to that fat spic?

Violated parole and/or fell for another court-appointed shrink, I reckon.

Body stockings are the hottest garment in the world for a woman.

Happy Good Friday, Chag Sameach Pesach, un Git Shabbos. Hope that covers everyone here.

Greek Easter isn't until next week.

True. Happy Early Greek Easter! Jay Sin has a great idea of how to hide the eggs.

Just signed-up to Amazon Cloud Storage - $60/year - unlimited storage.

"In our sun-down perambulations, of late, through the outer parts of Brooklyn, we have observed several parties of youngsters playing "base", a certain game of ball...Let us go forth awhile, and get better air in our lungs. Let us leave our close rooms...the game of ball is glorious." - Walt Whitman

MLB Opening Day 2015

Big Ups to Brooklyn.

Go Yankees.

Mets.

With Harvey and DeGrom they will probably be more fun to watch than the Yankees. I just really wonder if they are in contention around the trading deadline, will they make a move, part with prospects and add a big salary, to get a hitter.

I'm not back. More like a self abusing alcoholic ghost of vermin. The thought of most of you drowning to death in raw sewage while you're simultaneously dissolved in acid while being fried in napalm in front of your loved ones makes me spontaneously ejaculate.

We feel the love, Mellowman.

'stros

Ned Yost is the Inspector Clouseau of baseball managers. He puts Mike Moustakas, possibly the most un-2 spot hitter in all of the majors into the two spot of the order.

Results-a sacrifice bunt that leads to a run, his first ever opposite field home run, a walk that leads to another run and an infield single that leads to another run.

Just washed myself with some ead

How do you only have 1 whore up there? All you gotta do is Google Image Search "Gape Porn" and you should be able to do 10 updates per day. Would be smart to get affiliate accts w/ some sites and link the scene the pics are from, trying to get sign ups.

I was in Aldi's yesterday and this chick was being kind of loud and goofy with her loser boyfriend. She said something to him about wanting Goat's milk. I turned to look and told her Whole Foods down the road sells Goat's milk. We made eye contact and my crazy whore detector went off. I held eye contact for a few seconds longer than most people are comfortable with and she smiled. After that when the pathetic boyfriend wasn't looking she was giving me looks that screamed "I'll let you treat me like a 2 dollar whore behind my boyfriend's back because cheating on him and letting a big loser like you treat me like shit will get me off." She was average looking but she gave off that vibe of a chick that would be up for anything and do it with enthusiasm for almost anyone except her boyfriend. I havn't had a chick get my dick that hard just from a few looks in years. I had to leave the store and I've been wishing I could have stuck around to see if she would have made a move to talk some more the way she kept trying to get my attention and checking to see if I was looking at her and smiling at me when she saw me looking. It wasn't my imagination. This chick was severely damaged in the best kind of way.

That was a great Craigslist missed connection.

should sent the loser boyfriend over to the cereal aisle, defiled her right then and there and fled before she could get your name.

Fuck the Oakland A's with Marc Wallice's dick. It takes balls to try to take out the other team's shortstop and plunk the Royals best hitter two days later in the first inning and then have multiple players give the "that's unprofessional and not the way the game is played" quote when the other team retaliates. Fucking Oregon Duck reject jersey wearing douchebags.

There's no crying in baseball, bro.

I wish I was a Jack White fan. I guess he wants to visit the 5 states he's never been to before taking a break from touring. He announced a surprise acoustic show taking place tonight, with tix going on sale in about an hour for $3. I wish I was motivated to go because there are sure to be lots of stoned college girls there with it being 4/20 today as well.

Northern Lights from space.

http://www.sega-16.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-25384.html