Alex has announced in the Shout Box that he'd like a new name but, in Panzeriffic fashion, he failed to specify what name he'd like. True to form our degenerate posters (Okay, Me, Faceblaster and Steezo) have proposed some suggestions. Rather than tie up the Shout Box any further, I'm posting our suggestions here. Feel free to add yours. If we don't hear back from Alex by Saturday, a committee of Porn Jesuses will pick the top five and put them to the Board at large for a final vote.






Have at it through Friday Evening. Polls will open around the time Black Sheep Squadron runs on H & I, EDT, an I'm cracking my breakfast beer.

Victor Jerkoff
Vitaly Smegalot
Igor Pukearenko
Anatoly Assmagov
Dragomir Skankonov

Always enjoyed his food posts. Like his dollar store finds. My vote?

... Toss My Russian Salad

BOB.
Big Odiferous Bi-sexual.

Or...

Peter Onachik

What ever name is chosen, his User Title should be Tranny Whisperer.

ASSMAN

https://www.instagram.com/dick_anus/

Bargain Basement Boris

Alex the Shemale Anus Eater.

That name is taken Alex, as are several variants. Pick something original, and fast. 09:00, I start trying to knock an Eveready off of Robert Conrad's shoulder.

Plus, he stole it from "The Fusili Jerry" episode of Seinfeld.

How about Dick Anus?

Dick Anus fits. (pun intended)

That's a dumb, desperate name, Alex, that reeks of last-minute perspiration, "Cheeseburger" was a lot better. Nonetheless, the committee has decided to allow it as a last-minute entry in the poll. We've already set up the thread and I see no reason to waste it. Next time, pick your own name ahead of time so we don't have to go through this.

Alright, there were so many entries that the committee (Me, Raoul Duke, Mark Felt and Bob Conrad) has decided to expand the competition to nine. Pick your top two names. If no entry wins a clear majority, the top three get a runoff. The finalists, in alphabetical order, are:

Late entry: Karl SkidMarx

Honestly, I thought my second contribution (Peter Onachik) was better than my first (Ivan Tupoop), given his love for the ladyboys.

Fortunately, Alex changes display names more often than his underwear, so it'll get another chance in 6 mos. or so.

Are we gonna give him a new name after every time he gets boxed? If so, it won't take 6 mos. Prolly not even 6 weeks.

Big Gay Al is out in the lead.

When I first saw the results, I was like, "No way we got 28 members here." then I read the post and realized you can vote for 2, plus alts, so the # of actual voters is prolly right around the 6-7 I suspected.

He's been behaving himself since his return. Keeps his food to its own thread and hasn't posted any pics of it after it's been digested, so yeah, he might actually make six months outside the box. Anyway, that's about the interval between his name change requests.

If this holds, it'll be a runoff with Bargain basement Boris.






That's why I made it like I did. With that many good names, I liked the idea of giving 2 choices in a big, odd-numbered field. There's something so 1800 about it. #RepealTheTwelthAmendment

How about Give the Jew Boy Toys?

Well, look who's back. How ya been?

Doin' well. Lotta inexpensive sluts down here in Bmore. Been running amok, but always keeping it safe. How are you doing, JB?

Can't complain, man. Welcome back.

I'd like to play this game but I don't really know this person. Why are so many of the names Russian puns?

Ive got 9,179 reasons for you, Sock.

I would request that Karl SkidMarx be admitted in the next elimination round. I think it's my fav of all the ones I contributed.

It's good. Damned good, in fact. But I've already rigged put this poll into effect, and adding it now would interfere with the democratic process. And you've already got two really good candidates in the primary. Save it for his next name change request.

I still don't really get it and the submissions are closed but consider "Asskolnikov". It's the only Russian book I ever read. I tried to do something with Trotsky's name because it sound promising but I couldn't come up with a butt theme which seems to be requisite. I have no point if reference in this.

Start from the last page and work your way back, then. Trying to explain Panzer is like trying to explain LSD or the DTs to the uninitiated. More like having the DTs on acid.

Alex Davydyvich Panzershtein?

Alex Panzer: tranny lover, enema afficionado, OCD Jew boy with a fetish for disgusting food, often a resident of the Gimp box, refugee from ADT where he wasn't wanted and a proclivity for posts in extremely bad taste [and thats saying a lot for here]. Example: tranny pics, his own turds and immodest BDSM pics of himself. In other words, one of our finest posters. [not]

Or add it to the list for the round two poll.

How about TrannySaloLovinJewboy?

Trandrushka Cheapovich

Panzhopa?

Panzertransky

'Crime and Punishment'. What I remember is a thoughtful young man kills an old woman in a crime with very ordinary motivations (poverty,his Mom or his Sister is sick or sometjong like that) but his philosophical pretensions elevate the crime into some kind of cosmic social experiment to trigger justice coming down on him. If I need correcting on this I'll be interested to be set straight. I read around the time of 'American Psycho's release, the book, because it got namechecked a lot in the write ups about Ellis's book, which I had read and enjoyed. But the Christian Bale movie has replaced the book in my mind at this point. I've never seen a movie of 'Crime and Punishment'.

Alright, since you hit two of the top three spots, we'll substitute it for the lower one. Finalists:

No one like my Trandrushka Cheapovich?

As much as I spit out my licorice tea at Karl Skidmarx, he's not Russian.

You all are smert (dead in Russian) to me.

True, but still works as a commie Jew joke. I love Transdrushka Cheapovich, covers a lot of bases.

Dick Anus by 8/16/2016 or see ya in 2018.

I voted for Bargain Basement Boris, but like Transdruschka Cheapovich better. Alex's condition is clinically termed Gynemimephilia, but that is too unwieldy to yield any good screen names.

Promise?

Yes.

Make it 2020.

To coincide with another POTUS election cycle?

See ya in 2018