Apparently I got drunk and ordered a new, totally wireless meat thermometer set for $218. The MEATER. It's from a kickstarter campaign that has almost $1.8million in funds so far, so hopefully they'll release the damn thing soon. When I ordered, the website said it would be shipping in March.

I also sliced my thumb open quite nicely with that new knife. I need to create a whole new Things To Not To-Do list for when I'm drinking.