You jelly, bro?

If it's any consolation, I tried sucking my own dick once. It was a failure because my mother caught me. I'm real smart for a bunch of things, but not smart enough to do that with the door locked. By the way, the Admiral's dick is very large.

I can't say top 1% cognitive ability on Earth, because there are a lot of people on Earth, but on IQ tests, SAT, and LSAT, yes — consistently top 1%. Far into it, in fact. I could be a Mensa member if that group weren't so full of nerds.

Is there anything I can't do? Fifty push-ups.

As to why I bless you with my presence, I hadn't previously thought of it as a blessing. The Admiral's just a guy who likes to beat off to porn, take drugs occasionally, and bang whores. That's the Plan of the Day for Christmas this year.