Elevator etiquette is a big big deal for me.

1) Pressing both the up and down button to catch the elevator. You're only going one way.
2) trying to get on the elevator before letting me off. Here's a hint, it isn't happening, I'll throw elbows at your grandma if that bitch tries me.
3) silent wicked farts. Its an enclosed area and my mouth might be open. I'd rather you rip a loud gasser we can both laugh at, plus then maybe you'll shit your pants, more fun for me. But don't stink it up on the 2nd floor when you're getting off at the 5th and I have to ride up to 47th, because fuck you.
4) talking on your cell phone. Best believe if your on your cell, then I'm gonna start talking about super inappropriate shit really loud either to anyone else on the elevator, or into my own cell phone that I didn't even pretend to dial. Don't be rude.

I know there's more