We went to a house warming party for some friends last night. The guy is a realtor so he has a very diverse friend-set.

I have no idea how it happened- no one saw it coming, but some drunk guy with an obnoxious wife said to me "you think your dick is bigger than mine- pull it out" Mind you, he was slouched on a cooler against the wall at the time. It truly came out of the blue.

Everybody got library quiet, I guess wondering if I'd pull it out or knock him out. I said: "you'll have to ask my wife" and she didn't miss a beat and said "well, it's too long but makes up for that by being too thick". Everybody laughed and the bitch wife took that fucker to their car. I think he spent the night in there.