Assume I've been in jail for several years for a crime I likely committed but blamed on illegal immigrants. Okay, my gardener. That fuck killed my prize fuschia.

I digress.

So. Who's died. Does Wankus still crawl the earth like the scrotal skin shavings of a Walking Dead background artist? Has Brandon Irons' body really been taken over by sentient bacteria? Ah, so many great friends here on XPT. I still miss Kurt. Did he replace his choo choo tattoo with one of a Prius?

Update me, fucks.