Common (not in the British sense) sayings recrafted for porn use:

"Another day, another dollar"
becomes
"Another cock, another dollar"

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going,"
is now
"when the going gets tough, the tough stop for lube"

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again."
is now
"If at first you don't succeed, try again with lube and weed."

"You gotcha psalms and ya John 3:16, well Austin 3:16 says I just whipped yer ass."
is now
"You got yer psalms and yer John 3:16, well Chastity Lynn 3:16 says I just licked yer ass."

.
A bird in hand is worth two in the bush..
.
.. is now :
.
A cock in the mouth is worth two in the ass ...
.

No, I'm pretty sure the rate for double anal is higher than that for a blowjob. An exception might be Bonnie Rotten.

.
my apologies ... i forgot that anal was inversely proportional...
.
then it would be :
.

" A cock in the ass is worth two in the mouth "
.

(also: my ex would owe me about 600 bj's)
.
again.. my apologies.
.

What goes up must come down.
What goes up must take Viagara.


The early bird gets the worm.
The early bird gets herpes.

Sticks and stones may break my bones.
Sticks and stones may prolapse my rectum.

If God had wanted man to fly he would have given him wings.
If God had wanted man to fly he would have given him Xanex.

Life is a comedy to those who think and a tragedy to those who feel.

Porn is a comedy to those who jack to it and a tragedy to those who work in it.

You're bound to have heard : If at first you don't succeed keep sucking til you get seed! Haven't you Jerk ?

.
"ask not what your cunt can do for you, ask what you can do for your cunt "
.

Give me condoms or give me death by AIDS.

the early bird catches the facial.

You can lead a whore to cum, but you can't make her drink.

.
give a man a blowjob , and he'll cum for a day..
.. teach a man to give himself a blowjob, and he'll sit in a boat and give himself blowjobs all day ..
.

si vis pacem para bellum
if you want peace prepare for war
if you want bukakke, fly to osaka

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

The 'ho is my mistress; I shall have it all.
She makes me lie down in silk sheets.
She leads me beside 100mg of Viagra. She restores my wood.
She leads me in the paths of perdition for her pussy's sake.

.
you cant judge a whore by her beaver "
.

the devil's in the pubes

[...], cum smell or golden shower.

Behind every man is a bitch with a strapon

.
A handjob a day , keeps Chris Hansen away ..
.
.

A little song, a little dance, some fucking semen in your eye.

The only thing we have to fear, is queers and meth.

Brown eye at night, sailor's delight. Brown eye in morning, sailor take warning.

.
If a whore sucks a dick in a forest, and nobody is there to film it , does she still feel shame ?
.

If yer getting yer money's worth, Yes.

More importantly does she still swallow.

If no one else is around, why give her a choice?

.
never look a gift horse in the mouth
.
.. becomes :
.
Never fuck a MILF whore in the mouth...
.

Shy Love fakes it well.